The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Other Places Trump Wants to Seize

TBR Sunday Read

Jan 12, 2025
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Donald Trump’s threats to colonize Canada, Greenland, and the Panama Canal made global headlines last week. Those imperialist goals, however, were just the beginning.

In a TBR exclusive, we have retrieved the following top-secret document from an open file box in a Mar-a-Lago bathroom. As you will see, it contains Trump’s shocking musings about other lands he yearns to conquer.

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