Patel Hopes to Look Sober by Scheduling Joint Appearance With Hegseth
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Amid allegations of heavy drinking, FBI Director Kash Patel is hoping to seem sober by scheduling a joint appearance with Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, sources close to Patel revealed on Tuesday.
“I need to hold a press conference with Pete after he’s been on an epic bender,” Patel reported…