WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—According to a poll released on Wednesday, a majority of Americans would support exchanging Donald J. Trump for Kilmar Abrego Garcia.
Poll respondents agreed that a maximum security prison in El Salvador is an appropriate place to house a felon convicted on 34 counts.
Additionally, they felt that Mr. Garcia, who has no history of supporting tariffs, would be unlikely to engage in a ruinous trade war if he were transferred from El Salvador to the White House.
When asked what legal justification could be used to trade Trump for Garcia, a majority said, “Administrative error.”
TBR Question of the Day: Explain your answer to the poll.
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BREAKING!!! The LifeAlert Corporation has announced a new product: the ICE-ALERT PENDANT. “I’ve been abducted and I can’t get away!”, says the abductee in the new ads. Did you know, 90% of people seized by ICE for any reason - or no reason - can be saved from spending the rest of their lives in a foreign prison IF intervention occurs within 90 minutes?
LifeAlert GUARANTEES it has U.S. judges on call 24/7/365. Sonia Sotomayor, for instance, has committed to work a long shift, rumored to be Sunday mornings 9-12 when ICE is especially active cruising past churches looking to extinguish that glow on those who’ve just taken Communion. (Karoline’s response: “Tee-hee”.)
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We are ALL at risk. Get yours NOW. (Children and infant sizes available, of course.)
While we all are concentrating on getting Garcia back, we seem to have lost sight of the fact that all the men shipped to El Salvador were sent there illegally and should all be returned as well.