Poll: Majority of Americans Prefer Sleeping Trump to Conscious Version

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NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In a development that an aide to the presumptive GOP nominee called “the best news this campaign has gotten in quite some time,” a new poll shows that a majority of likely voters “vastly prefer” Donald J. Trump when he is asleep to when he is awake.

According to the survey, conducted by the Opi…