Prince Andrew Announces He Will Move to America Where Government Protects Pedophiles

Andrew said he planned to look up a friend from the “good old days.” Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—On Friday Prince Andrew announced that he was moving to America, hailing it as “a country whose government protects pedophiles.”

“My bags are packed for Washington, D.C.,” the disgraced royal told reporters at Heathrow airpor…