Profile in Terror: Kristi Noem

A Borowitz Report Sunday Read

Noem daydreaming about her favorite gun. (Committee on Arrangements for the 2020 Republican National Committee via Getty Images)

Meet a top Republican VP prospect. She’s Trump without the empathy.

Where were you when you first heard of Sarah Palin? Joe Biden, who was running for vice president, was on a campaign plane when he learned that John McCain had chosen her as his running mate. “Who’s Sarah Palin?” Biden asked. Like Joe, most of us didn’t know anything about her, so we weren’t prepared for what came next: the horrifying reveal that a blithering idiot might someday possess the nuclear codes.

To avoid a repeat of that traumatic experience, I’m here to warn you about another GOP vice-presidential contender: Governor Kristi Noem of South Dakota.