Mr. Borowitz… would you be available as a guest speaker at the annual Hillsborough County Democratic Committee picnic (Greenfield NH) on September 27th? Your book sales would go through the roof and the defenders of democracy would be given the courage to crush their fascist enemies. We could even give you lodging in a BnB with an amazing waterfall. RSVP
Not any catering truck. Heaven for Trump would be the "The McRig":
"A full-sized tractor-trailer equipped with a nearly complete commercial kitchen used for marketing events and community support, such as relief efforts after Hurricane Ian." https://msv2go.com/the-mcrig/
The value of pre owned politicians has always been historically low, and this make / model year, was never popular, and suffers from too much baggage despite its ample proportions. Age, condition, poor maintenance, dubious record keeping, zero race history, and low CarFox report tags this " just another used politician" ...."odd color choice too"
"Always buy the the best politician available, reputation restoration costs are high, making this one a poor investment"
"By jointly owning Trump, the two leaders will also acquire stakes in over 200 Republican members of Congress, FIFA President Gianni Infantino, and CBS News chief Bari Weiss...."
I wonder if he thinks they respect him because he has no idea what it means to respect someone since he truly respects no one. No, not even himself. He must know, or suspect on some deep level that he is a hollow man. If he had any self respect would he paint himself orange and drape his head in straw?
Well I hope they bought the one year warranty for him too after seeing the photograph of his right arm at his golf club/cemetary from this past weekend..tic toc…tic toc.tic toc…
Honestly I thought they both had already owned him. The 'timeshare' definitely sounds right as the details of their sharing are worked out, although owning the clown doesn't sound like much of a deal.
Exactly, Andy, spot on! Does that mean that putrid putin and nasty netanyahu get hegspeth, rfk, miller, bannon, blanche, vance, leavitt, the rest of the cabinet and administration, and those bratty kids and son-in-law too? Instead of swamp land in Florida, I'd be happy to sell them prime land in Siberia with a view of a gulag! That's what I'd call "the art of a deal."
They scooped him up at a bargain prince because they bought him "as is." Have a great day, everyone!
The two leaders will take ownership of Trump as soon as they can find the catering truck he's hiding in.
Hiding Trump in a catering truck is like hiding Hegseth in a liquor cabinet
Mr. Borowitz… would you be available as a guest speaker at the annual Hillsborough County Democratic Committee picnic (Greenfield NH) on September 27th? Your book sales would go through the roof and the defenders of democracy would be given the courage to crush their fascist enemies. We could even give you lodging in a BnB with an amazing waterfall. RSVP
I wish I were! That sounds like a fun event.
Too bad. Maybe next year? You can email me at: john@zavgren.com.
Thanks, John! Go NH Dems!
Glug glug…slurp slurp.
Not any catering truck. Heaven for Trump would be the "The McRig":
"A full-sized tractor-trailer equipped with a nearly complete commercial kitchen used for marketing events and community support, such as relief efforts after Hurricane Ian." https://msv2go.com/the-mcrig/
Of course it sticks out like a sore thumb.
I know Trump’s favorite food is McDonald's, but I can't help thinking that the Weiner mobile might be more apropos.
The garbage truck was too small.
Great idea! I'd prefer just splitting him in two, but nobody should let Solomon interfere.
Solomon would be too wise to get involved with these crooks.
Like all good satire, this one skates very close to the truth!
Everything I write is true.
Ça, c'est vrai!
Always use Froggie words for emphasis & smiles.
😂Perfectly turned Borowitzian zinger this morning! I love the sunny optimism of “Everyone wins” ! 😂I hope you have a wonderful day too ! 💕
The happy buyers will soon be announcing their new book aptly named THE FART OF THE DEAL. More later on the tour dates.
A bargain prince, eh? Inadvertent typo? Or did you do that on purpose? 🤣
Absolutely!
The value of pre owned politicians has always been historically low, and this make / model year, was never popular, and suffers from too much baggage despite its ample proportions. Age, condition, poor maintenance, dubious record keeping, zero race history, and low CarFox report tags this " just another used politician" ...."odd color choice too"
"Always buy the the best politician available, reputation restoration costs are high, making this one a poor investment"
This is an exceptionally accurate description, Paul. I especially like “odd color choice.” It’s a perfect companion to Andy’s article!
Great, Paul!
"By jointly owning Trump, the two leaders will also acquire stakes in over 200 Republican members of Congress, FIFA President Gianni Infantino, and CBS News chief Bari Weiss...."
Perfect, Andy....ZING! 🎯
Putins puppet. Bebes Barbie. The saddest part is he doesn’t realize it
He thinks they respect him.
His favorite line is “I have a great relationship with him “
Oy vey
I wonder if he thinks they respect him because he has no idea what it means to respect someone since he truly respects no one. No, not even himself. He must know, or suspect on some deep level that he is a hollow man. If he had any self respect would he paint himself orange and drape his head in straw?
LOL at the “paint and spray!”
Oops,”drape,”
Well I hope they bought the one year warranty for him too after seeing the photograph of his right arm at his golf club/cemetary from this past weekend..tic toc…tic toc.tic toc…
Fingers crossed!
Or tic tac, as trump would say...
I forgot about that gem!
Honestly I thought they both had already owned him. The 'timeshare' definitely sounds right as the details of their sharing are worked out, although owning the clown doesn't sound like much of a deal.
Bravo, Andy! Really funny! I’m barely awake but I’m laughing! Have a great day, too! Thank you for making mine!
Awesome, Cheryl! Thanks for letting me know and have a great day!
Exactly, Andy, spot on! Does that mean that putrid putin and nasty netanyahu get hegspeth, rfk, miller, bannon, blanche, vance, leavitt, the rest of the cabinet and administration, and those bratty kids and son-in-law too? Instead of swamp land in Florida, I'd be happy to sell them prime land in Siberia with a view of a gulag! That's what I'd call "the art of a deal."
Very dark. I love this one. Thanks for being you. As usual, the last line in priceless. And there is so much truth in it.
So no wigs?
Oh, gosh, you omitted their joint shares of the American tech bros and manosphere!
It's a diversified portfolio.
Boy did you ever get it right! I have been saying trump has a ring through his nose and is being led around by anyone with a rope.
Did not realize Putin was willing to share his toy.
maybe because the "bundle" included the best congress money can buy
Such a deal !
Exactly! And options on JD, Kushner and Witkoff were not exercised.
Such great role models they are!👍😊