Republicans Quietly Stop Impeaching Biden After Realizing it Would Make Harris President Sooner

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—House Republicans sheepishly withdrew their plan to impeach Joe Biden on Friday after belatedly realizing it would make Kamala Harris president sooner.

At a subdued press conference, Reps. Jim Jordan and James Comer blamed the botched impeachment effort on “a big mix-up.”

“I thought Jim was …