RFK Jr’s Worm Now Living in Kristi Noem’s Brain
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Stating that “it was time for a change of scenery,” RFK Jr.’s former worm disclosed on Friday that it had taken up residence in Kristi Noem’s brain.
“When Kristi was hospitalized earlier this week, there were reports of her having an ‘allergic reaction,’” the worm said in a prepared statement. “Actually, that was just her brain reacting to me moving in.”
According to the parasitic nematode, moving from Kennedy’s brain to Noem’s required little adjustment because “I was already familiar with a brain that size.”
The worm added that it was “surprised” how easy it had been to gain access to Noem’s brain, noting, “It’s harder for a US senator to get into one of her press conferences.”
First Meeting of TBR Book Club This Sunday!
Announcing yet another premium feature for paid subscribers: TBR Book Club! All paid subscribers automatically get access to the club.
The first book we’re discussing is Not My Type: One Woman vs. a President by the heroic E. Jean Carroll!
This Sunday at 7 PM Eastern I’ll be hosting a live chat about the book. You don’t have to have read it by then—just bring whatever questions you’d like to ask the author. Then, on Monday, I’ll ask E. Jean your questions in the inaugural book club episode of The Andy Borowitz Show!
This is going to be great fun and a wonderful way to hang out with other TBR community members. Paid subscribers will receive an email on Sunday inviting them to the chat. Hope to see you then!
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Hope a lot of you will join me for book club on Sunday! E. Jean’s book is already a huge bestseller and it’s wonderful.
He'll be leaving soon. There's not much there to support him. Next stop, MTG.