Russian Lures Confused Old Man to Alaska in Elder Scam
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—An unscrupulous Russian man has lured a confused septuagenarian to Alaska in an apparent elder scam, concerned associates of the old man reported on Thursday.
According to those associates, the Russian has posed as a friend of his geriatric mark in order to take advantage of him in the remote, icy setting.
“This poor, addled codger isn’t playing with a full deck and hasn’t for some time,” one associate said. “We’re afraid that the Russian will trick him into signing something away.”
The situation is particularly troubling, the associate said, because “he’s a feeble old man who likes to wander around on top of buildings, and the Russian likes pushing people off them.”
What the Corporate Media Won’t Tell You About Trump’s Dementia
We need to find “A Place for Dad.”
Trump said he was meeting Putin in Russia TWICE. Maybe it’s a sign he’s planning to use Alaska as a bargaining chip. Lisa Murkowski is all in on the ploy!