PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—In a stunning development, a group of fifth graders on a school trip to Mar-a-Lago stumbled upon the Epstein list in one of the club’s public bathrooms, the group’s teacher confirmed on Monday.
“The kids were really surprised to find the list,” said Carol Foyler, who traveled with her summer school students from Daytona Beach. “They wondered how it made it all the way from Pam Bondi’s desk.”
Liam Dorrinson, 11, said that he and his classmates plan to publish the Epstein list in their school’s newspaper, and dismissed concerns that Donald Trump might sue them.
“I wouldn’t do that if I was him,” the fifth grader said. “We also found his taxes.”
Trump’s Secret Drawings
Despite Trump’s claim that he doesn’t “write” pictures, TBR has obtained a secret trove of original drawings by him, including “Nude in Bath with Bribes” (below). See the entire collection of his amazing artwork here.
Now More Than Ever: Subscribe to The Borowitz Report Today
“
You’ll note that they did not find his healthcare plan—or even a concept thereof.
I heard the school group also found his college transcripts.