The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Sharks Deny Any Interest in Eating Trump

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Andy Borowitz
Jun 18, 2024
∙ Paid
a close up of a shark in the water
Trust "Tru" Katsande on Unsplash

THE OCEAN DEEP (The Borowitz Report)—Calling his longstanding fear of being devoured by them “delusional thinking at its saddest,” the world’s sharks issued a statement on Tuesday disavowing “any interest whatsoever” in eating Donald J. Trump.

“Given his constant intake of Diet Coke and hamburgers, there is nothing to indi…

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