139 Comments
User's avatar
Karin Crichton's avatar

DUDE, you are a RIOT! Thank you 1,000 times over! 🤪

Andy Borowitz's avatar

Thank you!

Enid's avatar

Karin, you took the words right out of my device…Andy is a Dude of the highest order!

Lynne's avatar

Starting chemo today. But I have great kids, great friends and you on my side. So I’m very hopeful

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

Bless your heart. Wishing you well through this journey. 🙏🏻

return to normalcy's avatar

Good luck, you know that laughter is one of the best medicines so I prescribe getting as much laughter in as possible!!!! Best of luck 🍀🤞!

Sally S's avatar

Hoping the love and laughter will help you through your chemo. Wishing you all the best.

Carla Spackler's avatar

Best of luck to you.

Amy L.'s avatar

Went thru it 15 years ago. Nothing helped like comedy 😃. Blessings!

Nadine Zdanovich's avatar

We will be thinking of you, Lynne. Hugs! 💕

Libby Cone's avatar

I hope everything goes well.

Rose Edgar's avatar

Thinking of you and sending good vibes your way. I went through chemo two years ago and so far so good.

JustNancy's avatar

Hi Lynne! With your support system and your great attitude, you're going to win this battle!! Sending you hugs and best wishes💕

Lynne's avatar

I wish you all the best results for a full recovery. Anyone Lynne (with the e) is my friend for life.

DebbieM (OH)'s avatar

Sending good thoughts.

Gin's avatar

Wishing you all the best and a complete recovery. I went through it 5 years ago and so far good. 🙏

Carol Quantock's avatar

Sending you the best--good luck and take care.

Jim Dygert's avatar

The omnipresent Susan Collins never learned to ride a bicycle..she was always back pedaling…

Judith Richards's avatar

Hard to clutch your pearls while riding a bike. 🤣🤣🤣

Jay F's avatar

As a Maine voter I must say: HILARIOUS.

It's Come To This's avatar

She's already preparing her next debate -- a serious, frank, heart-to-heart, no-holds-barred discussion with all her LeanCuisine dinner choices, daring her opponent to out-serious that.

Gonna be a true lulu of a showdown...Thank you, Andy, for putting ideas in my head!

Michael Lavering's avatar

But but but, she is so concerned; just not about YOU

Dan Harris's avatar

Something about casting pearls before swine comes to mind.

Carla Spackler's avatar

Easy to visualize a certain orange swine.

David A L's avatar

She has so much to be worried about that she's already clutching her backup pearls, the ones she keeps behind a glass door marked "In case of emergency run away screaming"

Barbara Marling's avatar

You got me on this one Andy. I find no humor in anything to do with Susan Collins because every time I think of her I think of Kavanaugh. “But he told me, she whined, that he would never vote against Roe.” It was time for her to go years ago.

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

Whenever the GOP roster’s brought forth

You’ll find listed the Dithering Ditz of the North.

And when Trump orders loyal MAGA mooches to fall in

You will find, much concerned, the unspeakable Collins.

An example of how Susan’s just a cat’s paw

Was her willingness to confirm Brett Kavanaugh.

To her puzzled constituents, hoping in vain

To see Roe v. Wade buttressed

By Collins of Maine

Instead, once again, she was very concerned

When a fifty-year precedent was overturned.

How could we support Platner, the voters of Maine?

We’ll do what it takes to halt Collins’ long reign.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Yup. Kavanaugh was the final straw for me.

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

So many straws; it gives us pause.

I think the worst was Kavanaugh’s.

But also, well beyond Sue’s reach

Was having DJ Trump impeached.

“He’s learned his lesson!” Sue opined.

We think she’s lost her friggin’ mind.

Paula's avatar

I can't even count the number of times I've wanted to clutch & twist Susan Collins' pearls.....until, well you know...

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

😂😂One of your funniest Andy ! I’m running out of superlatives! 😉Will this “ pearl clutching contest “ take place with worried Susan perched on a fence ? 😂You’ve brought laughter to my day ! 💕

Bergman Ronald's avatar

Well, I for one am glad that Maine has always supplied very tasty oysters to the people of this country in the face of the obvious squandering of the assumed pearls of wisdom.

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

And great lobster !😉

Bergman Ronald's avatar

Let’s not forget about those fine clams & excellent mussels grown on nets either.

Barbara's avatar

And best DEI potatoes-Katahdin, Kennebec, Green Mountain, red, yellow…😋

Bergman Ronald's avatar

Sides are always important.

Sharon P's avatar

don't forget the lobsta thermidor

Bergman Ronald's avatar

Sure thing. To each seafood lover their own fav.

ScottD's avatar

Whether she’s “concerned”, “very concerned”, “cranky”, or even “downright miffed”, she always makes sure it has no effect on any Republican objectives. Campaign slogan: “Getting permission to vote NO when it doesn’t matter since the 20th Century!”

Jay Phinizy's avatar

Scott,

I did hear one of the most amusing comments about Sen Collins, roughly paraphrased: "Sen Collins is always there when you don't need her vote!!"

ScottD's avatar

No kidding. She’s been playing the “independent but not really” game so long you’d hope people would catch on, but they seem to keep buying it. Retirement seems ideal.

Carol in Maine's avatar

As a Texas transplant to Maine in 1980, and someone who lived in the small yet awesome Aroostook County town she is from, I agree with your humorous assessment of Susan “I’m concerned “ Collins. Or Susan “I’ll serve only two terms” Collins. It’s funny but absolutely frustrating. The two unforgivable things she has done lately are supporting the charlatan RFK jr and supporting funding for the gestapo like ICE. Outrageous, unforgivable, damaging to the country.

Mary-Jean Miner's avatar

As a person who grew up in The County in the town next to Collins, I have observed in dismay the attitude Andy reflected in a few short sentences!

Nancy Tucker's avatar

OMG Big Thank You? As a Mainiac, I am amazed in a negative way, that she keeps being reelected. She truly has no clue what voters need to survive daily life. Why these voters do not see this and keep voting for her despite knowing she supports the big orange felonious prez most of the time. She is a member of the MAGA, nee GOP, party. She always has been and has always bowed to this party’s platform. Like “thoughts and prayers”, pearl clutching is ineffective….but her votes are not. She will not vote against her party when it would make a difference. Only when her vote does not count. Same as Murkowski.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Has to be a product of name recognition for uneducated voters. There simply could not be any other reason. (I used to be a Mainiac, too!)

Mary-Jean Miner's avatar

If you grew up in Maine and still live there you are a State of Mainer. The Mainiacs are those, like me, who move away, according to Senator Ed Muskie!

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

Susan Collins’ pearls deserve their own Secret Service detail. Those poor things have been through enough.

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

But are they real pearls....or faux, like her concern?

Shannon Kincaid's avatar

Faux. Definitely faux.

Mary F Englebert's avatar

Her latest campaign missive begs for money to fill the gas tank of her state-wide tour bus so she can get back to voting for whatever idiotic evil thing Trump wants. She's very concerned and worried that her husband's investments in oil production companies won't be enough. Yes, "looking worried" is time consuming. Add that to grave concerns about your voters not knowing how they'll be able to fill THEIR gas tanks can get a girl "fired."