The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

A Wedding Gift for Don Jr.

TBR Sunday Read

Andy Borowitz's avatar
Andy Borowitz
May 24, 2026
∙ Paid
Olivier Douliery/AFP

Donald Trump wasn’t the only person who skipped his son’s wedding this weekend. Also absent was Don Jr.’s former fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle, now the US ambassador to Greece.

You might remember Guilfoyle as the woman who spoke at the 2020 Republican National Convention and shattered the nation’s stemware.

But there’s another side to Kim—a sensitive, vulnerable side—that emerges in her private poetry journal.

In this series of haikus, Kim tells the epic story of her romance with Don Jr. in all its phases: first bloom, full flowering, and heartbreaking decay.

Is it better, as Tennyson wrote, to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Read Kim’s poems and decide for yourself.

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