The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Pete Hegseth’s Private Search History

TBR Sunday Read

Andy Borowitz's avatar
Andy Borowitz
Mar 15, 2026
∙ Paid
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

No one has been a more relentless source of information about Donald Trump’s war with Iran than his Defense Secretary, Pete Hegseth.

Now it can be revealed where Hegseth gets all of his information: from Google.

In a TBR exclusive, we have obtained Hegseth’s private search history from the past two weeks. Read it here first, before he accidentally shares it on Signal with everyone in his address book:

This post is for paid subscribers

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2026 Andy Borowitz · Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start your SubstackGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture