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The Borowitz Report

Tommy Tuberville Opposes Contraception and All Other Polysyllabic Words

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Andy Borowitz
Jun 11, 2024
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Explaining his vote against birth control last week, Senator Tommy Tuberville said on Tuesday that he opposes contraception and all other words with more than one syllable.

“I saw that word ‘contraception’ and that was a quick ‘no’ vote for me,” the Alabama lawmaker said. “Don’t know what that mea…

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