The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Trump and the Pope Debate the Bible

TBR Sunday Read

Andy Borowitz's avatar
Andy Borowitz
Apr 19, 2026
∙ Paid
Photo of Pope Leo: Alberto Pizzoli/AFP via Getty Images

On Tuesday, JD Vance made headlines by offering this helpful advice to Pope Leo XIV: “I think it’s very, very important for the Pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology.” Undoubtedly, the leader of the world’s 1.42 billion Catholics was grateful for this pro tip from a guy who converted to Catholicism 6 years ago.

But if JD thinks the pontiff is a little shaky on the Bible, what theological expert does he trust? Clearly, that higher power is Donald J. Trump, who, in 2016, declared, “Nobody reads the Bible more than me.”

Since this is Sunday, I thought it might be a good time to host a debate about the Bible between the head of the Catholic Church and the leader of the world’s largest theocracy. Read the following actual quotes by Pope Leo and Donald Trump, and then answer the poll question: Who understands the Bible better?

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