Trump Backs Out of Debate by Claiming He Died in Helicopter Crash
www.borowitzreport.com
Trump Backs Out of Debate by Claiming He Died in Helicopter Crash
FALLS CHURCH, VA (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump on Tuesday backed out of a televised debate with Vice President Kamala Harris on the grounds that he died in a helicopter crash “many years ago.”
“I was on my helicopter flying over New Jersey when all of a sudden it went down,” he said. “I was with Willie Brown, who is also now dead, quite frankly.”
He said that he would never agree to a debate on ABC because the network “is very biased against dead people.”
“You look at ABC News, which might be the fakest news there is, and they don’t have a single dead person on the air,” he said. “As a dead person, I should be allowed to choose the moderator, and I would never agree to George Snuffleupagus.”
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Good morning TBR friends! What other excuses (besides bone spurs and brain spurs) will Trump use to skip the debate?
The injury to his ear from the attempted assassination has caused major hearing loss. He’ll reschedule the debate, after the election.