It's true. He would have absolutely no idea. But he probably wouldn't want to share it with Bibi. He never learned to 'share well'. Mommy was too busy teasing her hair and Daddy refusing to rent to non-white tenants.
Many a criminal has been arrested by responding to being contacted and told they had one a lottery or something but have to come in to the office to receive it.
So out of undeserved deference for trump’s desires (and a desire to keep the Netherlands from being the first nation to be nuked by trump), as soon as he arrives in The Hague, trump is quickly presented with gold spray painted handcuffs that are clamped on his fast-bruising wrists.
Delighted at the sparkle and gleam, trump raises his hands triumphantly to show off his new bracelets. The crowds roar in approval. As he proudly stands there, arms raised, he asks for the pesky chain between the bracelets be removed.
“The antitheft device is still on these things,” he complains to PM Jetten in a scolding, condescending tone. The Prime Minister just smiles as two prison guards flank the president and lead the grouching, oblivious man off the dais.
I kind of felt he deserved the made up, extra cheesy, FIFA Peace Prize 🏆!!! It’s only too bad he’s too ignorant to understand the implications there! Did I say ignorant?! Sorry, meant to say stupid!!!
He said with tears in his eyes, no one has done what I have done ever or more bigly. I should be given the goldliest trophy to display behind my gold curtains. I picked out those curtains.
"They asked me to please come on my Qatari jumbo jet, which I'm happy to show off so they can admire it," he continued. "The invitation was partially redacted, but I was able to see through the black ink. It seems they're calling the plane 'Exhibit A' which I think is a cute name for it that they wanted to surprise me with on the trophy."
Circling back to King Leopold, our own 🍊💩is up to this per a headline in today’s online NY Times-U.S. Considers Withholding H.I.V. Aid Unless Zambia Expands Minerals Access.
On Friday afternoon, Liberty University Law School emailed its first and second-year students about an “exciting opportunity to intern with the Department of Labor in DC.” One important caveat: only passionate devotees of President Trump would be considered. Students who “aligned politically with President Trump” and were “willing to work hard” were strongly encouraged to apply, even if they had poor grades.
Liberty University, founded by Jerry Falwell Sr., is a conservative Christian institution based in Lynchburg, Virginia. Falwell Jr., who took over the university after his father died in 2007, was an advisor to Trump.
Trump and his clown car, republicans and the 6 conservatives on the Supreme Court- they’re all trying to scare us about Sharia Law while trying to bring our country back to the 19th century in every way (except for slavery) in the name of Judeo-Christian values!
Do not forget Regent University, founded by the wanna be Ayatollah. Pat Robertson. Another "broad minded" institution on the coast of Virginia. Pat and Jerry helped to create this nightmare. I would believe in hell, just for the pleasure of knowing that Pat, Jerry and the recently departed Supreme Leader, were all getting a well earned roasting.
Lock Him Up Lock Him Up Lock Him Up. Personally I'd prefer a treason conviction at home for selling out America and enriching himself and his friends. That said, I'll take what I can get.
I am desperate for The World Court to get involved because I don't think the U.S. Congress or the DOJ have the guts to do what's right, but would be relieved if The World Court did it for them. As would we.
I’ve been saying that The Hague needs to give him and Bibi all the due recognition they so rightly deserve. Also got a notification that Andy’s book is to be delivered Monday. Stoked!
Thanks, thanks don’t know how I missed that, ordered. So pleased that you use Book Shop, but not surprised in the least. I support Lark & Owl Booksellers, in the heart of conservative Texas.
Is this an updated edition? A lot of ignorant politicians have passed our way since the original publication ( e.g., hundreds of pages could be devoted to Trump's Cabinet.)
Yup. Idk why it’s taken me longer than usual. But it’s on the way. Also the cartoonist from the New Yorker had a book I sent to a friend who had knee replacement. That book was really good for laughs
We are traveling in Egypt right now. What Trump (without Congressional approval) and Bibi have started in the Middle East is sickening. We feel safe here and hopefully will leave tomorrow night, but the economic, political,social, and human impacts will last for years. Oh wait. Trump doesn’t care about any of that. The Hague Criminal Court is too good for him.
Hi Kimberly. Retired Travel Agent here. The Egyptians respect and appreciate foreign tourists and take care to keep them safe. If CAI is your return airport that should be good as well,
A big burly guy like jesus weeping, I’m sure he remembered to call trump “sir” and tell him about his factory which under Biden was operating one hour a week. Needs a haircut, though. If junior had ever come home with jesus-hair, don would have beaten ivana black and blue
Never thought of it before but … jesus and trump have a lot in common: domineering father; doormat mother with a history of delusions; royal ambitions; love of telling fabulous stories of which he is the hero (“I fed 10,000 people with two fish and seven loaves of bread”); got his name all over everything … Think the ‘x’ in xtianity will eventually stand for ‘trump’? Is there any way this can end well?
The Virgin Mary story marks God as a pedoohìle so there's that similarity to our Clothesless Emporer (which my son thinks is a shocking statement from his prudish mother.) When the clouds part and Jesus descendants from the heavens I hope the enemy forces don't shoot him down with an ABM. (Magical Realism is my favorite genre, after History.)
Finally, recognition he deserves!
And the very special prize must be accepted by Trump in person, right?
Greeted with golden handcuffs
Let’s just call them “golden jewelry” so as not to tip him off
Joined gold friendship bracelets.
Matching golden friendship bracelets for Bibi and Vladdy.
I hear it will be presented in the Donald J. Trump - Hermann Göring ‘Never Forget’ Ballroom in The Hague - that should guarantee his attendance!
Love your comment. Very appropriate. You do realize Trump has no idea what you are talking about!
But Steven Miller does…
And Steve’s mad as hell about it: “Bastards stole the name I wanted for *our* ballroom!”
That's the quietly menacing one I worry most about. Ice cold frog's blood (poisonous) in his veins.
sick very sick mentally disturbed mother fucker
For sure
I'd daresay he has the xenomorph's blood from the Alien movies. He almost looks like he could be a xenomorph's offspring.
Susan - he spells his first name S A T A N
Then his middle name must be Beelzebub.
😯
“And there’s the rub.”
Nosferatu should be there as well with Petey Kegsbreath.
It's true. He would have absolutely no idea. But he probably wouldn't want to share it with Bibi. He never learned to 'share well'. Mommy was too busy teasing her hair and Daddy refusing to rent to non-white tenants.
The most admirable family in America, ever. If you like scorpions.
Just ask all the frog people.
Yes.
served on a 14k gold plater platter. with goring's head
with handcuffs big enough for his tiny hands
Lol
Let us hope so!
Of course!!
Many a criminal has been arrested by responding to being contacted and told they had one a lottery or something but have to come in to the office to receive it.
So out of undeserved deference for trump’s desires (and a desire to keep the Netherlands from being the first nation to be nuked by trump), as soon as he arrives in The Hague, trump is quickly presented with gold spray painted handcuffs that are clamped on his fast-bruising wrists.
Delighted at the sparkle and gleam, trump raises his hands triumphantly to show off his new bracelets. The crowds roar in approval. As he proudly stands there, arms raised, he asks for the pesky chain between the bracelets be removed.
“The antitheft device is still on these things,” he complains to PM Jetten in a scolding, condescending tone. The Prime Minister just smiles as two prison guards flank the president and lead the grouching, oblivious man off the dais.
You got my laugh today, Wis. Thanks for making me smile even more than Andy did.
Perfect perfect perfect. Will there be gold epaulets on his jump suit?
Let’s not forget the golden ‘anklets.’
And Golden shock collar.
Har!
Har!
XD
Genius.
Goodness! How flattering. But really, it's just that I daydream a lot ;) (Daydreaming helps when I feel helpless...!)
And Dreaming is Free
WIS - once again you've created such a delightful image in my mind! LOVE the way your mind works.
{hugs} Thank you, Debi! How kind!
Jack Smith is very familiar with how the ICC works. 😉
The ICC should invite him to the proceedings.
Smith and Jamie Raskin. And Hillary Rodham Clinton. And E. Jean and Stormy D. and a bunch of other women.
I kind of felt he deserved the made up, extra cheesy, FIFA Peace Prize 🏆!!! It’s only too bad he’s too ignorant to understand the implications there! Did I say ignorant?! Sorry, meant to say stupid!!!
Anyway, thanks, Andy❣️
So true, Andy.
and hopefully gets!
Can Putin be invited as well?
An American, an Israeli and a KGB Agent meet in a prison...
I love this! it doesn't need any dialogue or a punchline.
--and no priest, rabbi, or minister will visit them!
They are at the bar, chugging down Heinekens!
<appreciative applause>
The End.
Talk About a Cage Fight
And Bibi.
He’s had a standing invitation already.
MBS should be included too. They have a gold plated bone saw award with his name on it.
Pretty please?
Obama is invited to be one of the presenters.
--along with Joe Biden and Kamala Harris!
Fabulous idea!
He said with tears in his eyes, no one has done what I have done ever or more bigly. I should be given the goldliest trophy to display behind my gold curtains. I picked out those curtains.
"goldiest" -- perfect!
🤣
--don't mind the ketchup stains!
😂
Laughing laughing! Goldie's -- so clever.
😁
"They asked me to please come on my Qatari jumbo jet, which I'm happy to show off so they can admire it," he continued. "The invitation was partially redacted, but I was able to see through the black ink. It seems they're calling the plane 'Exhibit A' which I think is a cute name for it that they wanted to surprise me with on the trophy."
Let me guess. Is it the inaugural King Leopold Lifetime Achievement Award?
I love this Clym.
Had to look up King Leopold, spot on!
A very, very bad dude. Also loved gold; silver, tungsten, tin, diamonds, of C. Just ravaged the Congo, stripped them blind and broke.
Circling back to King Leopold, our own 🍊💩is up to this per a headline in today’s online NY Times-U.S. Considers Withholding H.I.V. Aid Unless Zambia Expands Minerals Access.
Hahahahaha
Hopefully it’s a full metal jacket medal, sir.
He looks sickening.
On Friday afternoon, Liberty University Law School emailed its first and second-year students about an “exciting opportunity to intern with the Department of Labor in DC.” One important caveat: only passionate devotees of President Trump would be considered. Students who “aligned politically with President Trump” and were “willing to work hard” were strongly encouraged to apply, even if they had poor grades.
Liberty University, founded by Jerry Falwell Sr., is a conservative Christian institution based in Lynchburg, Virginia. Falwell Jr., who took over the university after his father died in 2007, was an advisor to Trump.
🤢🤮
You left out that he was cremated and buried in a matchbox as he was a con man and that full of it.
I wonder if Andy could embed himself and report secretly as our mole on the inside ?
Trump and his clown car, republicans and the 6 conservatives on the Supreme Court- they’re all trying to scare us about Sharia Law while trying to bring our country back to the 19th century in every way (except for slavery) in the name of Judeo-Christian values!
talk to farm workers, for example, about the slavery part!
Trump will issue an Executive Order declaring the 13th Amendment, invalid.
The 13th amendment and interracial marriage is where Clarence Thomas will draw the line, no matter what Harlan Crow offers him!
--while the people will mass to declare an executive order to make Trump invalid!
Do not forget Regent University, founded by the wanna be Ayatollah. Pat Robertson. Another "broad minded" institution on the coast of Virginia. Pat and Jerry helped to create this nightmare. I would believe in hell, just for the pleasure of knowing that Pat, Jerry and the recently departed Supreme Leader, were all getting a well earned roasting.
And Jerry Falwell, Jr. had quite the scandalous tenure: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/liberty-lawsuit-jerry-falwell-jr-sex-scandal-settlement-b2754818.html Of course, I guess he laughed all the way to the bank after LU paid him off. I also did not know about the Michael Cohen connection to Falwell, Jr.
Thank you for this link...I had completely forgotten and also did not know about Cohen's connection.
Sounds like they're forming a farm team to replace the
9000 some odd escapees from the Justice Dept. Good
luck. I guess Harvard Law refused the offer.
snicker, snicker They are following the Administrations personnel criteria - ONLY CONSIDER THE INCOMPETENT WITH LIMITED EDUCATION AND NO INTEGRITY
This sounds like something Andy would write😄
Spot on!
Acolytes only
ugh...
"Ugh" is right!
🤬 🤬 🤬
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Lock Him Up Lock Him Up Lock Him Up. Personally I'd prefer a treason conviction at home for selling out America and enriching himself and his friends. That said, I'll take what I can get.
I am desperate for The World Court to get involved because I don't think the U.S. Congress or the DOJ have the guts to do what's right, but would be relieved if The World Court did it for them. As would we.
Take what we can get buddy .
FOR NOW .
This is the news we have been waiting for. Thank you, intrepid reporter.
More winning!!
I hope he attends to accept his award.
And brigs his entire cabinet along to admire him.
I’ve been saying that The Hague needs to give him and Bibi all the due recognition they so rightly deserve. Also got a notification that Andy’s book is to be delivered Monday. Stoked!
A must read, it’s awesome.
You know I always forget to choose a local bookstore. I hope they’ll choose for me. Next time I’ll be more careful.
Book?
https://bookshop.org/p/books/profiles-in-ignorance-how-america-s-politicians-got-dumb-and-dumber-andy-borowitz/a6fe4527cb334426?ean=9781668003893&next=t&next=t&affiliate=109008
Thanks, thanks don’t know how I missed that, ordered. So pleased that you use Book Shop, but not surprised in the least. I support Lark & Owl Booksellers, in the heart of conservative Texas.
Is this an updated edition? A lot of ignorant politicians have passed our way since the original publication ( e.g., hundreds of pages could be devoted to Trump's Cabinet.)
such a WONDERFUL book -- so well-researched, and so well-written. It's a MUST read!
Yup. Idk why it’s taken me longer than usual. But it’s on the way. Also the cartoonist from the New Yorker had a book I sent to a friend who had knee replacement. That book was really good for laughs
So extremely well deserved!
We are traveling in Egypt right now. What Trump (without Congressional approval) and Bibi have started in the Middle East is sickening. We feel safe here and hopefully will leave tomorrow night, but the economic, political,social, and human impacts will last for years. Oh wait. Trump doesn’t care about any of that. The Hague Criminal Court is too good for him.
Safe travels.
Hi Kimberly. Retired Travel Agent here. The Egyptians respect and appreciate foreign tourists and take care to keep them safe. If CAI is your return airport that should be good as well,
Thank you! We are with a wonderful tour group. CAI is our return airport.
Be careful, please and get home safely.
Jesus weeps! Is this real or parody? With Trump, I can't tell anymore! 🤷🏻♂️
A big burly guy like jesus weeping, I’m sure he remembered to call trump “sir” and tell him about his factory which under Biden was operating one hour a week. Needs a haircut, though. If junior had ever come home with jesus-hair, don would have beaten ivana black and blue
Or alternately she'd have just "fallen down the staìrs"
Never thought of it before but … jesus and trump have a lot in common: domineering father; doormat mother with a history of delusions; royal ambitions; love of telling fabulous stories of which he is the hero (“I fed 10,000 people with two fish and seven loaves of bread”); got his name all over everything … Think the ‘x’ in xtianity will eventually stand for ‘trump’? Is there any way this can end well?
The Virgin Mary story marks God as a pedoohìle so there's that similarity to our Clothesless Emporer (which my son thinks is a shocking statement from his prudish mother.) When the clouds part and Jesus descendants from the heavens I hope the enemy forces don't shoot him down with an ABM. (Magical Realism is my favorite genre, after History.)
Like! Very very very much like!
Thank you, Wendy. I’ve reworked this and saved it; I think you’ll see version 2 in some thread in the next couple days … lol
Very much looking forward to seeing it!
It's that looking glass again.