Trump Calls For Reopening Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vowing to usher in a “golden age of chocolate,” on Wednesday Donald J. Trump called for Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory to be reopened.

“I saw a show about it on TV, and it never should have been allowed to close down,” he said. “It never would have happened if I was president.”

“What was done to Willy Wonka was a disgrace,” he said, adding that the chocolatier had been “treated very unfairly.”

“We used to make beautiful chocolate in this country,” he said. “We’re not winning at chocolate anymore.”

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With Paula Zahn last week in Morristown.

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