Trump Claims Pope’s Election was Rigged
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Escalating his attacks on Pope Leo XIV, Donald J. Trump claimed on Thursday that the pontiff’s election last year was “totally rigged.”
“There were a lot of ballots cast against him that were just burned,” he said. “You could see the smoke coming from the Vatican.”
Trump blasted Leo as “a terrible person and very ungrateful, quite frankly,” arguing that “he never would have become Pope without my help.”
“It was my idea to send JD to Rome in 2025,” Trump explained. “If he hadn’t gone, Pope Francis would still be alive and Leo would still be a crummy cardinal.”
BREAKING: Trump Loses Fight With Pope
Very helpful of JD Vance to lecture the Pope about theology.
I just read the title and start laughing out loud. Every morning, without fail. The pic of lightning bolt striking the donald is so much classier than any one he ever presented of himself. Can't stop laughing. Thanks.