Trump Claims Thousands of Chicagoans Were Seen Running for Their Lives Over Weekend
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Justifying his characterization of Chicago as a crime-ridden war zone, Donald J. Trump claimed on Monday that thousands of the city’s residents were seen “running for their lives” over the weekend.
“They were running like dogs,” he said. “You’d run, too, if you were being chased by Antifa.”
Trump…