Simple. She's white. Were she any other color, she would be sitting in prison in El Salvador. Her immigration status is somewhat irregular, but she's white. That makes all the difference.
MAGA must want to get rid of him. They are trying to kill him with boredom. Alternatively, perhaps they seek to drive him further insane with non-stop irritation.
And he is a young pissant who will be dogged by the power hungry little beeatches surrounding him. It will be dreadful for us and the world but I think his "success" will be limited by all the hands that will bind him. Silly wabbit! Twicks are for kids!
As far as implementing any kind of "agenda," there would be a power struggle among Shady Vance, Stephen Miller, Marco Rubio, Mike Johnson & possibly others. I'll throw Jared Kushner into that mix, too. None of them have a shred of charisma or decency. The country will survive their mismanagement. The "people," of all political stripes, will rebel.
What about Donnie Jr. or Eric the ChinlessWonder. Since Daddy thinks he is royal, there is a line of succession. Can you imagine the coronation. Melanomia would be escorted by The Strange Child and take a seat which DaughterWife had expected.
I'd take Mike Johnson off the list. He's a wind-up toy that will go in whatever direction he's pointed. Dumber than a Roomba. It's true for Vance, too, but his nastiness propels him.
Not so sure......if he is capable of aligning with Donnie and supporting his delusions, he is fully capable of sociopathic behavior. Plus, he has Miller close by. He can coach him.
Too few in the Senate like him for him to be able to get any real support going. They might even be able to impeach him and then little Mikey Johnson - - by that time, who knows what would happen. The rest of the Cabinet members are vulnerable to impeachment, too.
No, He will be put in a gold sarcophagus in accordance with his Last Will and Testament. It will be on permanent display at Mar-a-Lago where people who pay admission can go to see it.
I'm so out of touch I had to look up Weekend at Bernie's---you're absolutely spot-on. Now if you had referenced Princess Bride, mostly dead, you know, then I could have related. Weekend at Bernie's might be on my menu after this---especially when I can imagine Miller and Rubio propping up Trump.
I wonder what happened to that temporarily defrocked doctor who gave Michael Jackson propofol. Maybe he could advise about the hands and the ankles -- a good nap???????
I have no doubt that a comatose Agolf Shitler would be a vast improvement.
P.S.: I am at the point that the only news I wish to hear about Shitler is that he's dead, even if that would leave us with Shady JD, or whatever name he's currently going by. He seems to change names with regularity.
Alfred E. Newman >>>>Robert Redford. The thing is, Trump really does believe he's attractive, handsome, appealing, sexy. Where is Stormy these days....could she make a statement?
I thought the "swatting his right hand" was a nice touch. We don't always give Andy enough credit for his attention to details. Like Hayao Miyazaki's touch of having Chihiro tap her shoes as she puts them on in one scene of "Spirited Away", this kind of detail raises the artistic quality of a piece above mundane to true artistry.
you are a master of details, andy. and also of humor, period...lots of periods....you know how to put into words the pratfall as well as all forms of humor.
The details paint a written tapestry which revs up our imaginations. We read and see the possibilities in our mind's eye. We can laugh in the midst of the despair. Thank you.
“Press secretary Karoline Leavitt later briefed reporters on Trump’s coma, asserting, ‘This will in no way affect his performance as president. Don’t listen to that third rate comedian, Borowitz’”
Apparently, no one rushed to perform CPR or mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, except KaroLIE Leavitt, who had to be reminded her lips needed to be on his, not on his ass.
I believe that if he really was in a coma and needed mouth to mouth, not a single one of his sycophants would try.....they'd be too busy planning what they'd wear to his funeral. Even Little Marco.
Do you suppose Little Marco will ever realize that no one will ever vote for him for anything ever again? That it's more likely he'll be deported to Cuba? What a turd.
It may look like she's asleep but she's quietly counting all the money in her bank accounts and properties and dreaming of all the beauty treatments she has booked...
Rather than attempting to rouse him, I think Mal-Narnia was checking for signs of life, with fingers firmly crossed. She was praying/preying for a “win-win”. If he’d finally expired, she was unburdened ✅; and the global attention would be on the completely foreseeable and highly anticipated death of the US President; therefore providing a much needed distraction from the minus 6000% rating of her film ✅ Oh, and the cherry on top is that she gets a Vogue cover as a grieving widow in a black Vintage Valentino ensemble., inclusive of a boater with a brim the size of Maine. She’ll be quietly delighted, but not enough to spontaneously smile, that the political and fashion world will be lauding her for having the foresight to simultaneously pay tribute and homage to two men of global but opposite influence.
I got rid of prime and anything to do with Amazon last January. I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to go directly to various businesses, especially the smaller ones.
Maybe she'll mimic Jackie Kennedy Onassis in her choice of dress & black mantilla. And wear fashionably low black pumps instead of spike heels. But I do like the ensemble you've imagined.
That song was actually from a much older song that I learned while I was at school. I’m in the same age bracket as the Beatles so I bet they learned that same song (see “Golden Slumbers” in Wikipedia for its history).
I’m afraid JustaDick will be ecstatic to have his tech masters do all the “work” for him to govern, totally screw the financial system for everyone who doesn’t have a personal banker, get rid of the underclass the old-fashioned way (starve them, deny medical care and legal care; that’s always worked before), keep a minimal number of “middle class people around to do the jobs that aren’t being done by AI and AI-driven tools, and enjoy the space in an America of maybe 250,000 people.
What a future. I think i need to go back to reading Regency romances. Noblesse Oblige still existed then, at least for some people.
Also, there has always been a need for an “underclass” to do the menial work. But now that we will have glorious machines instead, we can kill all the poor. Of course, that means ruining the gene pool, but not all the Ubermensch seem to have the ability to think long-term.
Too much Andy! True LOL!
“Be wake!” the increasingly irate Mrs. Trump shrieked.”
I laughed out loud at that one 🤣🤣
yes, I noticed she didn't shriek "be woke"
How many years has she been in the US and still can’t speak English? Grounds for deportation to one of those lovely concentration camps?
ICE is demanding "papers" from other people who speak with an accent. Why does Melanoma get a pass?
Simple. She's white. Were she any other color, she would be sitting in prison in El Salvador. Her immigration status is somewhat irregular, but she's white. That makes all the difference.
and she married money. I have been to her country. What did she do before coming here. HUMMMM
She's as brown as many of the people they are targeting!
She's not brown?
Of course. How did I miss that?
Because she agrees to sleep with anyone who questions her....especially if they are in her bodyguard detail...
The question is, "Does Trump speak English?"
No, that one's been answered.
apparently that doesn't seem to bother the sheepeople
Hell, they don't speak English!
I think they speak "Hee Haw" LOL
100%
1500%
She's given up on "Ɓe Best!"
She's given up maybe on a lot of things......
Got her family here before the feces hit the fan
didn't she?
well, Melanoma did come in on an Einstein visa (or was that Epstein visa?)
So did I ! Brilliant, Andy!
So did I--still laughing!
Me too.
Me, too!😆
me too and I still am
I cracked up at that line, too! Love it.
Does this mean she still speaks with an accent?
The movie is all subtitles even though she is speaking english.
<snort laugh>
😂😂😂
It better be!
Do you mean trying to speak English?
As long as she sounds like Natasha from _Rocky and Bullwinkle_
They definitely need a few clips in there with Natasha speaking. Well, that and her in her broadbrimmed hat showing up with clips of Spy vs Spy...
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
😂😂😂
Priceless, Andy! Laughing out loud will get us through this! ❤️
Melania quietly whispered, "be dead."
This chant was taken up by US citizens and world leaders everywhere.
The whisper heard 'round the world.
Poor Melanoma. Brainwashing conjugations with Dump have rendered her unable to conjugate "to be."
Bigly!
Or not...
I and several relatives have bottles of champagne in the fridge for when that happens.
We’re not related but…
Dom Perignon? Veuve Cliquot?
More like a $12 bottle of Prosecco, but it'll do the trick!
Gosh, does one break out the champagne on that worthless POS, or get a bottle of Boones Farm and not spend too much celebrating?
Oh, if only!
Or “be best dead”
<snort laugh>
Deport her. She is a terrorist. She wants to kill the POUSA -President of United States
"Hope Hope Hope" said the Bad-spellng Bunny
MAGA must want to get rid of him. They are trying to kill him with boredom. Alternatively, perhaps they seek to drive him further insane with non-stop irritation.
From her lips to God’s ear 😂🤞🏻
It hasn't worked, Melania!
I wouldn't be surprised . . .
I just snorted my coffee!!! 🤣
I guarantee that if Trump fell into a coma his approval rating would soar.
🙌🏻 We've all been rooting for that little blood clot!
The little blood clot that could!
Rooting for that little clot!
Clots and prayers to the trumps
OK, that one made me spit! ROFL
Except that JDV might be worse.
No doubt, he's horrible as well but I don't worry about him incinerating the entire world in a fit of pique. AND, no one likes him.
And he is a young pissant who will be dogged by the power hungry little beeatches surrounding him. It will be dreadful for us and the world but I think his "success" will be limited by all the hands that will bind him. Silly wabbit! Twicks are for kids!
Whose hands are going to bind him?????
points well made!
As far as implementing any kind of "agenda," there would be a power struggle among Shady Vance, Stephen Miller, Marco Rubio, Mike Johnson & possibly others. I'll throw Jared Kushner into that mix, too. None of them have a shred of charisma or decency. The country will survive their mismanagement. The "people," of all political stripes, will rebel.
Can we start a pool and bet who'd come out on top In that Lord of the Flies scenario?
Maybe we could just put them on an island and forget to retrieve them.
Gah! It's hard to imagine.
Sure bet that the result would be god-awful!
LOL
What about Donnie Jr. or Eric the ChinlessWonder. Since Daddy thinks he is royal, there is a line of succession. Can you imagine the coronation. Melanomia would be escorted by The Strange Child and take a seat which DaughterWife had expected.
I'd take Mike Johnson off the list. He's a wind-up toy that will go in whatever direction he's pointed. Dumber than a Roomba. It's true for Vance, too, but his nastiness propels him.
Dumber than a Roomba is about as damning as can be. I can't envision that.
I was thinking of the rules of succession.
Kushner and Ivanka will decamp to Dubai or Doha.
Don't count Don, Jr. out - he may be just waiting in the wings...grifting enough $$s off his father's presidency to fund his own campaign.
Not sure how much worse he could be,,
Exactly that. Though he's bankrolled by Theil, he has zero base of support, apart from Beevis and Butthead.
Well, no lodging couch could ever sleep well again.
Neither would we!
Oh, he definitely will be worse. And she must be clueless to become pregnant again or just as mean. What law school graduated them?
She married him, that tells you all you need to know
I bet she wants to become "First Lady" - wish her good luck.
Miller is already the potus. President Miller
Crooks, Craven & Cowardly, LTD.
The problem is that JDV doesn't have an original thought and he will be easily manipulated by the deepest state.
Nope. I, respectfully, disagree about anything being worse.
We must keep in mind Monty Python's advice to Always Look On the Bright
side of Life...at least JDV is not a sociopath who wants to buy Greenland.
Are you sure? Certainly seems like a sociopath to me.
Vance won’t be much of an improvement!
Not so sure......if he is capable of aligning with Donnie and supporting his delusions, he is fully capable of sociopathic behavior. Plus, he has Miller close by. He can coach him.
Too few in the Senate like him for him to be able to get any real support going. They might even be able to impeach him and then little Mikey Johnson - - by that time, who knows what would happen. The rest of the Cabinet members are vulnerable to impeachment, too.
Not a chance...he's got the power of a gnat!!! And that little bit will shrivel up and....🌬 poof!!!
You all are killing me
'This clot was made for you and me'🎶
OK, OK. so the trophy's yours again.
As I was floating that arterial river
I saw above me the plaque lined by pass
I saw below me the golden globs of fat
And knew that this little clot was meant to be
He takes so much aspirin that I'm betting on a massive intercraniaĺ bleed, similar to what's on the back of his hands.
What a delightful image. Sooner the better.
You guys are cracking me up, good one Shannon!
Folks, as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for i.e. J.D. Vance.
Imagine the headlines:
Trump stately while unconscious
Presidential at last
Could we put him in a glass box for display?
No, He will be put in a gold sarcophagus in accordance with his Last Will and Testament. It will be on permanent display at Mar-a-Lago where people who pay admission can go to see it.
and about as many people will show up as showed up for his parade. Or fewer, if there's a charge.
Ala Lenin?
Like Lenin.....
If a coma raises Dump's approval rating, then won't his rating go vertical when he dies?
Way…
Laugh, laugh, laughing! Gosh, it feels good.
Amen!😆
Ah, but how could we tell?
Stephen Miller will try and do Weekend at Bernie’s for as long as possible when it happens!
I'm so out of touch I had to look up Weekend at Bernie's---you're absolutely spot-on. Now if you had referenced Princess Bride, mostly dead, you know, then I could have related. Weekend at Bernie's might be on my menu after this---especially when I can imagine Miller and Rubio propping up Trump.
I do want to see Princess Bride, right now it’s streaming on a service I don’t have!
You'll love Princess Bride, I guarantee it.
Lettuce Prey!!
His left hand is so bad now he’s channeling Michael Jackson with one glove. Hoping that big moonwalk off into the sunset is soon!
I wonder what happened to that temporarily defrocked doctor who gave Michael Jackson propofol. Maybe he could advise about the hands and the ankles -- a good nap???????
He'd finally get the turnout for a parade that he claimed he got for his inauguration.
I have no doubt that a comatose Agolf Shitler would be a vast improvement.
P.S.: I am at the point that the only news I wish to hear about Shitler is that he's dead, even if that would leave us with Shady JD, or whatever name he's currently going by. He seems to change names with regularity.
And so would approval ratings for comas.
That’d do it! Perhaps we should tell him?
But how would we know?
Again. You think we would learn.
Like Alex in 'A Clockwork Orange,' I demand Trump's eyelids be forced open,
so he can see how totally bland and boring his world actually is. He thinks he's
a fucking dashing Cary Grant type, while in reality, this psychotic scumbag makes
Alfred E. Newman look like Robert Redford. Make him stew in his abysmal sub human
mediocrity.
"sub human mediocrity", you really nailed it Messr. Gottlieb!
Why taint non-human species?
You put words to my loathing.
<appreciative applause>
Alfred E. Newman >>>>Robert Redford. The thing is, Trump really does believe he's attractive, handsome, appealing, sexy. Where is Stormy these days....could she make a statement?
Preparing an order of fried mushrooms to celebrate! She hasn’t been able to eat any for many years…
Have always been reminded of the Charles Adams character....LURCH.!
Even the name seems. to fit him to a " T " !
If people don’t want to watch the film, Melania, you can’t stop them.
I thought the "swatting his right hand" was a nice touch. We don't always give Andy enough credit for his attention to details. Like Hayao Miyazaki's touch of having Chihiro tap her shoes as she puts them on in one scene of "Spirited Away", this kind of detail raises the artistic quality of a piece above mundane to true artistry.
Thank you for noticing! The details are the fun part for me.
you are a master of details, andy. and also of humor, period...lots of periods....you know how to put into words the pratfall as well as all forms of humor.
The details paint a written tapestry which revs up our imaginations. We read and see the possibilities in our mind's eye. We can laugh in the midst of the despair. Thank you.
I agree. And the restraint to not explain the bruise, to let us get there on our own, that's the genius.
And it shows respect for the intelligence of his devoted audience not to spoon-feed us.
YES
This is too accurate to be satire.
“Press secretary Karoline Leavitt later briefed reporters on Trump’s coma, asserting, ‘This will in no way affect his performance as president. Don’t listen to that third rate comedian, Borowitz’”
Satire? Everything Andy writes is true!
As usual :-/
He just wanted to show he's not Woke.
💙
Apparently, Little Marco’s full, Cuban lips weren’t any more successful…
Apparently, no one rushed to perform CPR or mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, except KaroLIE Leavitt, who had to be reminded her lips needed to be on his, not on his ass.
I love how South Park always shows her with a brown nose!
That's Bondi!
Oh right, they all look alike, the Klaus Barbi twins!
So deftly phrased, A!
I believe that if he really was in a coma and needed mouth to mouth, not a single one of his sycophants would try.....they'd be too busy planning what they'd wear to his funeral. Even Little Marco.
<appreciative applause>
Do you suppose Little Marco will ever realize that no one will ever vote for him for anything ever again? That it's more likely he'll be deported to Cuba? What a turd.
Turn about is fair play. Melania has been falling asleep on Trump as long as they have been together.
ZING!
It may look like she's asleep but she's quietly counting all the money in her bank accounts and properties and dreaming of all the beauty treatments she has booked...
She is not asleep under there, she is being suffocated ...
Is it wrong to hope for that?
Rather than attempting to rouse him, I think Mal-Narnia was checking for signs of life, with fingers firmly crossed. She was praying/preying for a “win-win”. If he’d finally expired, she was unburdened ✅; and the global attention would be on the completely foreseeable and highly anticipated death of the US President; therefore providing a much needed distraction from the minus 6000% rating of her film ✅ Oh, and the cherry on top is that she gets a Vogue cover as a grieving widow in a black Vintage Valentino ensemble., inclusive of a boater with a brim the size of Maine. She’ll be quietly delighted, but not enough to spontaneously smile, that the political and fashion world will be lauding her for having the foresight to simultaneously pay tribute and homage to two men of global but opposite influence.
I will not see the film and neither will my friends!
It’s really not a film. I think it’s more like an info commercial with a Slovakian accent.
Perhaps she should have played a Slovakian assassin in a Bond film. Introducing No-Knaus Trampepstein, KAOS Agent 4547
Dumps is pissed she didn't get a GOLD paint job
Oh, that wasn't her? Sure talked like her.
I read that many crew members refused to be mentioned in the credits and many regret working on it because they saw it as pure propaganda.
just 20 days of her life, before tRump's second reign of terror . . . how many times do we have to see her go to the spa and eat a lettuce leaf?
Slovenian, I think. Hard to tell them apart at this distance...
Same here. Prime has plenty of good movies and other entertainment. I’ll not support Trump grift in any form.
Then don’t use Prime! 😉
I got rid of prime and anything to do with Amazon last January. I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to go directly to various businesses, especially the smaller ones.
Alas, now even a Netflix subscription supports Dump grift.
What are the ratings ? Any reviews ? Probably not both writers would be forced to walk the plank on the Jolly Roger any alligator will do
It’s not coming out until January 30!
thank God it's not coming out on Groundhogs Day!
😂
<more appreciative applause>
LOL :)
Maybe she'll mimic Jackie Kennedy Onassis in her choice of dress & black mantilla. And wear fashionably low black pumps instead of spike heels. But I do like the ensemble you've imagined.
you have proven she is indeed smarter than we think
“Be Wake!” 😜🤪😜😂🤣😍
Better yet, "This be a wake."
"Be woke" would be even better!
I am quite sure Andy purposely played on that!
hilarious!
Fool’s golden slumbers filled with lies
Disaster awaits us when you rise
Sleep petty dotard do not cry
(With a wink and a nod to The Beatles song off the 1969 album Abbey Road)
That song was actually from a much older song that I learned while I was at school. I’m in the same age bracket as the Beatles so I bet they learned that same song (see “Golden Slumbers” in Wikipedia for its history).
Good back story! Thanks for the assist!
One of your best! You are a treasure!
Eyes Wide Shut!
I think the key word here is “irreversible”, yet the report hedges. All true Americans can only pray that it may be so🙏 Oh wait, JD?😱
JD isnt capable of cult leadership. He tried to take over for Charley but resorted to getting pregnant for a cover.
He's even off-putting when he orders donuts.
I’m afraid JustaDick will be ecstatic to have his tech masters do all the “work” for him to govern, totally screw the financial system for everyone who doesn’t have a personal banker, get rid of the underclass the old-fashioned way (starve them, deny medical care and legal care; that’s always worked before), keep a minimal number of “middle class people around to do the jobs that aren’t being done by AI and AI-driven tools, and enjoy the space in an America of maybe 250,000 people.
What a future. I think i need to go back to reading Regency romances. Noblesse Oblige still existed then, at least for some people.
Also, there has always been a need for an “underclass” to do the menial work. But now that we will have glorious machines instead, we can kill all the poor. Of course, that means ruining the gene pool, but not all the Ubermensch seem to have the ability to think long-term.
My heart when all I read was the first line!!!❤️🩹