The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Trump Forced to Listen to 45 Minutes of Balalaika Music After Putin Puts Him on Hold

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Andy Borowitz
Mar 21, 2025
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Nicholas Kamm/AFP via Getty Images

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Negotiations over Ukraine appeared to stall on Friday after Russian President Vladimir Putin kept Donald Trump on hold for 45 minutes listening to balalaika music.

According to White House sources, Trump consumed 18 cans of Diet Coke during the lengthy musical interlude.

Although the Russi…

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