Trump Gives Himself Two Weeks to Invent New Distraction from Epstein Files
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an eleventh-hour announcement on Tuesday night, Donald J. Trump gave himself a two-week deadline to come up with a new distraction from the Epstein files.
“Threatening to annihilate a nation of 90 million people worked for about a day, but now I need to come up with somethi…