Trump Honors Those Who Helped Others Avoid Service at Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist
QUEENS, NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In what has become a Memorial Day tradition for him, on Monday Donald J. Trump laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist.
Trump made his annual pilgrimage to pay homage to the heroic doctors who issued bogus diagnoses to ensure that their privileged patients never answered the call of duty.
In an emotional tribute, Trump thanked the fallen foot specialists who bravely risked their medical licenses so that others facing military service could be free.
Choking back tears, he said, “They gave everything so people like me could give nothing.”
Ask Me Anything!
Leave your questions below and I will answer them on this week’s podcast!
Democracy Dies When Billionaire Weasels Own Newspapers: Subscribe to The Borowitz Report Today.
On the day we honor our heroes, how sad that this putrid imbecile leads the country they died for. I am a lifelong pacifist and leftie, but how anyone could support this clown after hearing his McCain insult never ceases to amaze me. I guess it's National Devious doc Day and here's wishing Bone Spurs for all the pitiful MAGAS who can listen to his dribble. I can't stand to look at him anymore and thank God for MUTE.
Trump does not know the meaning of the word "service." Unless we are talking about room service.