304 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

My apologies for creating that mental image!

Andy Borowitz's avatar

I got super excited when I saw that the police arrested someone for vandalizing the Reflecting Pool but then I found out it wasn’t Trump

jb from Weston's avatar

Go Harland!

He put it all in perspective.

Mary Gilbert's avatar

Thanks, Harland, for taking one for the team! 🏆

J Cheng's avatar

That person was later released when police discovered any attempt to do anything to the reflecting pool would only be an improvement.

Al Keim's avatar

Yeah, some sports guy from the Olympics, out for a bike ride, was trying to retrieve Marco's lost trunks and got busted.

Joanne Beck's avatar

They claimed he was destroying property! hahahahahahaha

Barbara Marling's avatar

Yep Joanne. Too late…already destroyed.

Daisy White's avatar

Actually that dangerous perp is a friend of my son in law. The article even made Heather’s American Letter on Sunday!! 😜

Steve Newman's avatar

I didn't know fishing out garbage from a public monument was a crime.

Annette's avatar

well, we haven't been able to "fish" garbage from the white house yet . . . so there's that

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Oh My Effin Gawd, Annette! That one was my best out loud guffawing knee-slapper for today!!!

Steve Newman's avatar

Midterm republican bloodbath followed by a treason indictment. Get your hook bated Annette.

Irna Gadd's avatar

that's a goal that's got much higher priority, imho.

M Q's avatar

Anything that interferes with the President's agenda is a crime.

Jessie Lendennie's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Annette's avatar

Ahh, but he has vandalized the American citizens, by paying an exorbitant amount (in taxpayer money) for the initial cleaning (which I am sure had a 30-day money back guarantee).

Susan Stone's avatar

The mental image of Marco Rubio might be worthy of apology, but trump as the one who vandalized the Reflecting Pool is absolutely perfect! The truth once again.

Cindy Froggatt's avatar

That’s okay. My helpful brain covered up most of naked Marco with the green slime or blue paint chips.

The Rickster's avatar

The Florsheims covered up most of naked Marco.

Steve Newman's avatar

Rick, I'm nowhere near over the Florsheim thing either. I say never let it die.

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

I'm visualizing Marco emerging from the pool covered in algae, with flaking blue paint covering his naughty bits.

marlyg's avatar

😂🤣😂🤣

Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

More like blue paint CHUNKS!🤣

Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

Curse you, Andy!!! Now I need bleach for my eyes!!!

Robert E.'s avatar

If you contact the "presently" White House, you'll be happy to know "Doctor Kildare" Donald has some surplus bleach available. Each bottled Kash donation will be exchanged for the bleach. "Dr.Kildare", long known for playing doctor, will get his remedy on.

Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

Is the bleach leftover from when he was treating COVID?? LOL! I sure miss the old Dr. Kildare, Dr, Ben Casey, and Dr. Marcus Welby days, when doctors knew what they were talking about (not like "Dr.'"Oz and "Dr." Brainworm, Jr.)

Carla Spackler's avatar

I thought Marco preferred Doc Martens. It seemed like a good fit.

Jim Carmichael's avatar

I can’t process this image on Monday morning.

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

😂You’ve ruined my breakfast! 😉Notwithstanding, I still think you’re the funniest man in America ! 😂💕

Andy Borowitz's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

BTAM Master's avatar

New diet craze:

1) read this before breakfast

2) imagine Trump (in the buff) joining him.

3) The pounds dissappear as you won't eat for a week

Bob Graham's avatar

Although, If Trump joined him, there wouldn’t be any water left in the pool.

Annette's avatar

make sure the horrible orange man needs to know he has to dive in

Annette's avatar

I can't get past the first comment, BTAM . . . just reading the second comment made me urp

Mark D Olson's avatar

It's okay from my point of view. It's quite possible there is more than one reason he's called little Marco. I don't think he even has huevos or cojones.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Solamente frijoles pequeñitos.

J Cheng's avatar

Frijoles rojos o negros? I need to know which one to stop eating...........

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Egads! I know not! Does this mean no more refried beans for me? Wah!

Annette's avatar

I will not allow this administration to take away my refried beans - that's a hard no!

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Gotta agree! To prevent the derailing and horror caused by mental images of being flashed by Little Marco's little beans, I will do some hardcore LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-ing at the top of my lungs whilst preparing my refried black beans con jalapenos.

Frances López's avatar

He has apparently placed them in "cold" storage for the duration of the current administration.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

¡Abrazos y besos por esa brillante tontería!

Susan Stone's avatar

Floofie, I'm envious of your knowledge of Spanish!

Terri's avatar

It was definitely worth the laugh. Especially, as usual, the last line. Even if that image is worse. Love the Florsheim flippers, too.

Susan McIntosh's avatar

At least it wasn't Steve Bannon.

Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

Where has Bannon been? Hanging out with Elon? Maybe Rudy? Ah, those were the days.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Another case of small blessings, hahahaha

Stephen Brady's avatar

Be thankful for small victories. Besides, JD was busy being humiliated by tRump, the Orange Odium, when tRump threatened to kill the Iranian Negotiators and occupy their country. You just can’t make this stuff up!

Annette's avatar

I'm sure Jay Deviance is keeping receipts

Wendy Holtzman's avatar

Actually I loved the image of swimming with the Florsheim flippers😂🤣😂

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Yeppers, and doing the backstroke whilst using them! Which *blush* means his naughty bits (if not covered in algae slime and blue paint flakes) were delightfully flashing the public for the duration of this exposé.

bruce schneider's avatar

Some confused it with a small submarine with periscope up.

J Cheng's avatar

it wouldn't have been complete without the Florsheims.

Doris Buchmann's avatar

We laughed out loud when we read that !!!

Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

I am NOT thanking you for this nightmare mental image that I cannot now unsee!

Annette's avatar

imagine how Harland's family felt!

J Cheng's avatar

Don't apologize, I would have been disappointed if you left out the Florsheims. What a legacy for Rubio.

Steve Newman's avatar

Rubio and every other coward that didn't even have the courage to mention those cheap shoes haven't been made in America for a long time. And WTF gives shoes ?

Steve Newman's avatar

Maybe the moron thought he was stepping it up by not giving slippers ?

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Boy howdy, you said it for all of us!!!

Italien's avatar

That’s something ya just can’t unsee!😖

GingerLee's avatar

Too late.... omg....

Antoinette S. Hamilton's avatar

It's not a pretty picture for sure.

Penny Thomas's avatar

Andy, I accept your apology, although I was enjoying the image😂.

Al Gorythm's avatar

Trump has deployed the National Guard to keep people from taking bits of his failed paint job but would not deploy the National Guard on January 6th to protect democracy.

It's Come To This's avatar

Gots to get your priorities in order there, Al.

Erik Staub's avatar

He deployed the National Guard so tourists wouldn’t take the peeled paint as The Great Orange grifter wants to sue his friend and then sell the peeled paint with a certificate of authenticity. He has assigned RFK jr. to figure out how to use the green algae for medical use,

Robert E.'s avatar

Listergreen mouthwash.

Annette's avatar

<snort laugh>

Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

RFKjr SMOOTHIES!🤣💚

Michael Bowe's avatar

Gatorade Jello shooters for everyone!

Steve Newman's avatar

Paint chips Al ,paint chips, we're talking national treasure here, get on board. Gotta think like the greatest president.

Annette's avatar

first ever: <thunderous standing ovation>

Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

The Florsheims poking out of the water was quite the image! Trump could’ve returned Stephen Miller back to his natural environment although all ducks would be at risk.

It's Come To This's avatar

Reports of unusual sightings beneath the muck and murk have been noted, indeed…

https://sylvestercat.substack.com/p/the-unibubbler-strikes-again

J Cheng's avatar

That picture of SM was inspired. Also true representation.

Marilyn Gillis's avatar

An even better image is Stephen Miller being forcefully shoved into the pool.

Mike Gelt's avatar

The biggest winners from Trump’s new reflecting pool may be scuba divers. For years they had to travel to coral reefs and shipwrecks—now they can train for underwater treasure hunts right in Washington. Give it a few months and divers will be recovering lost golf balls, misplaced executive orders, and maybe even a few campaign promises from the bottom of the pool.

Jan Fabiyi's avatar

And the spines of the Congress.

Unsafely Anonymous's avatar

What spines?

#Coelenterate

Mike Gelt's avatar

They won't until the Democrats get control then watch

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

The Epstein files? (Gah! I hope not! Not much use soggy & scummy.)

Susan Fernbach's avatar

Some of the original Epstein files

Lorenzo's avatar

Scum in the scum. There's room for all of them.

Walter David Luce's avatar

It struck me last week while watching the coverage of the opening of the Obama Presidential Center that the ACTUAL leader of our American Democracy at this moment in time is Barack Obama. Actually I think and feel that Michele Obama is an equal co-leader here. President Obama is everything that djt is not: intelligent, honest, compassionate, respected, inspiring, truthful, courageous, a LEADER. For me, an older, privileged, thin white guy, President Obama now carries the moral and ethical banner last entrusted to Martin Luther King Jr. POTUS Obama has never claimed nor sought such a mental, it has just found him and it fits him perfectly. President Obama is my president now not the orange slime bag who loves algae.

Stephen Brady's avatar

There was an internet meme going around: “it is amazing that the best presidential orator in this generation is only the second best public speaker in his family.”

Jeanne Golliher's avatar

Stephen Brady, YES, and what it says about the President that he looks at her, beaming with love and pride, every time she outshines him!

Annette's avatar

<appreciative applause> I look forward to see what Sasha and Malia do in the future (hoping they continue their parents service . . .?)

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

YES to all you stated so very well!!! Couple more adjectives: humane, decent and dignified.

Btw, I think you mean mantle, not mental. An autocorrect whoopsy daisy?

Annette's avatar

I wasn't going to watch the coverage, but divine intervention made me grateful I did. It's been so long since I've been inspired and hopeful; we've all seen better days, but hope keeps us plugging on to find them again. Thank you to the Obamas, for their grace, sacrifice and decency.

Sally McKinney's avatar

Well ,now we know why they call him "Little Marco."

Mark D Olson's avatar

I was thinking while unable to sleep last night that perhaps Mr. Borowitz should take over the Late Night show. I don't think anyone working in the present regime would understand the humor of Andy, so we'd all be safe from t'rumps censure.

Andy Borowitz's avatar

I have a better gig

Sharon Turner's avatar

That vision could be worse. Could be a synchronized swimming team. I have a hard time choosing which swimmers to include, but I´d definitely throw in Markwaynebillybob, just for his name alone.

Rosemary Ehle's avatar

Steven Cheung (aka ODD Job), sex-on-a-stick Howard Lutnick.........

Frances López's avatar

I vote for cheerleaders. Hmmm, let's go trad & choose women & Lindsey Graham to be on that cheer team.

Rosemary Ehle's avatar

OK we could start with ruthless hag and alternative fact Kelly-Anne Conway.......

Annette's avatar

love "ruthless hag"

Annette's avatar

make sure he brings his princess flashlight, so we can see him at night

Annette's avatar

<snort laugh>

J Cheng's avatar

Noem's husband to serve as a life saver.....he floats.

Sharon Turner's avatar

Love that … along with the new Mrs. Bezos. Guess they could be the lifeguards.

Annette's avatar

<snort laugh AND caffeine spew> I was not prepared for your post!

Thomas Dresser's avatar

The oversized Florsheim shoes was the defining element.

Doris Buchmann's avatar

I enjoyed that picture in my mind so darned MUCH!!

Patty Farrington's avatar

Gives new meaning to that old movie, "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" only in Marco's case he's green and always will be.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Green with inexperience? Envy? Fear? Slime?

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Oi, this conjures some really nasty images!

Annette's avatar

jealousy... that Jay Deviance wasn't assigned the task?

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

So green with petulant pissiness?

BTAM Master's avatar

Engineers determine pool must be drained to fix. To save time, Trump offers to empty pool by demonstrating cannonball.

Carla Spackler's avatar

Because he’s incapable of performing the Triple Lindy.

Linda MacDonald's avatar

😂😂😂Brilliant😂😂😂 and reading through the comments, little marco and his florsheim flippers along with shrinkage and miller the swamp creature, well..😂😂😂.I'm laughing so hard my eyes are streaming! And it is ONLY Monday. Bless Harland for making the trip to DC from Ohio. Indeed...at least it was not jd who prefers a couch to green slime!😂😂😂

Italien's avatar

Cage match in the pool!! Marco v Pee Wee German!!

Annette's avatar

Yes! I would actually place a bet on that match!

Michael Lederman's avatar

Gazing wistfully at the pool, Grab Em by the Crotch Donald said, " I'd volunteer myself if I didn't have bone spurs."

GD's avatar

Omg shrinkage.

Bad Ass Boomer's avatar

Oh my goodness, what a sight! Do Florsheims float?

Kathleen D. Pierce's avatar

Let's ask David Letterman. Remember his skit "Will it sink or will it float?" I can hear Paul Schaffer singing the intro in my head!🤣