The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Share this post

The Borowitz Report
The Borowitz Report
Trump Requires Running Mate to Also be Cellmate
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More

Trump Requires Running Mate to Also be Cellmate

Jul 11, 2024
∙ Paid
967

Share this post

The Borowitz Report
The Borowitz Report
Trump Requires Running Mate to Also be Cellmate
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
217
67
Share
Mandel Ngan/AFP via Getty Images

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—A campaign aide confirmed on Thursday that every candidate who wants to be Donald J. Trump’s running mate must also pledge to be his cellmate.

J.D. Vance, Doug Burgum, and Marco Rubio have all committed to joining Trump in prison, with Senator Rubio expressing unbridled enthusiasm at the pr…

This post is for paid subscribers

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Andy Borowitz
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share

Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More