Trump Says Andrew's Arrest Sets Dangerous Precedent of Pedophiles Facing Consequences
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A visibly shaken Donald J. Trump told reporters on Thursday that the arrest of Andrew Mountbatten Windsor set a dangerous precedent of pedophiles facing consequences.
“King Charles released a statement where he said no one is above the law,” he said. “That was a horrible thing to say.”
Calling Andrew’s arrest “disgraceful,” Trump said it had made him “rethink the whole idea of becoming king.”
“If you can be a member of the royal family and still get arrested, what’s the point in having a crown?” he said. “You’re better off just having your own supreme court.”
TBR Exclusive: The Child Rape Accusations Against Trump That Won’t Go Away
And now this:
MONTECITO, CA—Suddenly resuming contact with his father after a lengthy estrangement, on Thursday Prince Harry asked King Charles if he could have Andrew Mountbatten Windsor’s room.
“Megan and I are packed and ready to move in,” he told the King. “Just say the word.”
“It looks like I’m not the black sheep of the family anymore,” he added. “Oh well—I had a good run.”
Speaking to reporters at his home in California, Harry called Andrew’s room “one of the sweetest in Buckingham Palace” and “the perfect place to shoot our next Netflix series.”
No one is below the law, and Trump fancies himself to be the law. Well, no one is below Trump -- that is certain.