Trump Says He Will Be Too Senile to Debate in Late October
Trump Says He Will Be Too Senile to Debate in Late October
PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Explaining his claim that a second debate with Kamala Harris would be “too late,” Donald J. Trump said on Thursday that he expects to be “way too senile” by the end of October.
“People are saying that they can’t understand a thing I’m saying, and, quite frankly, neither can I,” he said. “I’m like RFK Jr. on steroids.”
“I have the most amazing dementia in the history of dementia,” he boasted. “I’m winning at dementia.”
Trump predicted that, were he to participate in a late October debate, “That thing I said about ‘they’re eating the cats, they’re eating the dogs’ will seem like the Gettysburg Address.”
“Besides, I don’t need to debate, because I already have the support of the Black Nazis,” he added. “I’ve done more for Black Nazis than any president in history.”
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“The highly overrated and failing Andy Borowitz tried to write a hit piece on me but ended up telling the truth”