Trump Says it is Totally Unfair That He is Not Allowed to be a Juror

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NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the situation a “rigged disgrace,” Donald J. Trump said on Thursday it is “totally unfair” that he is not on the jury of his trial.

“You have these twelve losers in a room, trying to figure out what the hell was going on,” he told reporters. “Meanwhile, I was there the whole time an…