WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what is being called a historic performance, on Tuesday night Donald J. Trump set a new world record for delivering the longest speech that did not include a single fact.
Congressional Republicans were awestruck by their leader’s ability, at the age of 78, to give such a sustained fact-free oration.
“To stand up there for 99 minutes and not accidentally slip up even once by saying something true?” House Speaker Mike Johnson said. “He’s still got it.”
Republicans contrasted Trump’s address favorably with the Democratic response of Sen. Elissa Slotkin, who spoke only briefly but whose remarks were riddled with facts.
I read last week's issue of The Economist, which was filled with facts, none of which were encouraging for Trump.
I got Covid so I wouldn’t have to see it. The sacrifice was worth it.