Trump Warns of Increase in Transgender Mice Since Haitians Ate All the Cats
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In one of the more ominous moments from his speech to Congress on Tuesday night, Donald J. Trump blamed a surge in transgender mice on “Haitians eating all the cats.”
“For four years, mice swarmed over the border, looking for sex-change operations that Sleepy Joe Biden would pay for,” he alleged. “These mice had nothing to fear because they knew that all the cats had been eaten.”
Vowing to usher in what he called a “golden age for cats,” he vowed to use billions in tariff revenue to establish a Strategic Cat Reserve.
Trump spent the rest of his speech listing his second-term accomplishments, boasting, “I have already caused more damage than all other presidents put together.”
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I am amazed that Trump is polling at 1 percent. Russian bots?
If cats eat transgender mice, and Haitians eat these cats, will Haitians catch transgenderism? Perhaps Secretary Kennedy should start investigating this.