Trump's Trial Ends Abruptly After He Makes Full Confession in His Sleep

Mandel Ngan/AFP

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In a twist that surprised even the most hardened trial watchers, Donald J. Trump’s hush money trial came to a sudden conclusion on Wednesday after the defendant issued a full confession while soundly asleep.

Trump, who had been snoring vigorously all morning, began mumbling shortly after 10 a.m. despite Judge…