US Military Cleans Up Discarded Kale at Portland Farmer’s Market
PORTLAND (The Borowitz Report)—Troops deployed to Portland, Oregon by Donald J. Trump cleaned up “a significant amount” of discarded kale at a downtown farmer’s market, FBI Director Kash Patel claimed on Monday.
Declaring the deployment a major success, Patel posted on X, “We are keeping kale off the streets of Portland.”
But city res…
