The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Woman in Miserable Marriage Dreading Husband's Week Off

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Andy Borowitz
May 21, 2024
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Molly Riley/AFP via Getty Images

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—An unhappily married Manhattan woman whose husband has been occupied for over a month is “deeply dreading” his upcoming week off, a friend of the woman revealed Tuesday.

The friend, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the woman has been “deliriously happy” for the past five weeks and is…

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