WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what some are calling the most alarming testimony ever heard in the United States Senate, on Wednesday a worm who feasted on Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.’s brain for over twenty years urged senators not to confirm the Health and Human Services nominee.
“I have eaten over 90 percent of Bobby Kennedy’s brain,” the worm testified. “That leaves only 10 percent—which, by the way, is a math problem Bobby is incapable of solving.”
Although Democrats said that the testimony disqualified Kennedy, Republicans were quick to disparage the worm as a disgruntled invertebrate.
Sen. Tommy Tuberville told reporters that he intended to vote for Kennedy, explaining, “He still has more brains than I got.”
TBR Question of the Day: Who knows the most about medicine: RFK Jr., Dr. Oz, or Rand Paul? Leave your comment below:
I do not want a health secretary whose head appears to be made of distressed leather
Besides if there's one physiological condition Republicans can get behind, it's being an invertebrate!