Good morning! What are your plans this holiday weekend? I intend to spend some quiet time alone away from other people so I’m going to Trump’s Great American State Fair.
It would have gone straight to my spam folder, along with the latest missive from Social Security touting their efforts to make life "affordable for senior citizens". I wanted to smash my computer when I saw that.
Yeah the 🍊💩needs to promote himself in every government communication possible. My wife and I immediately deleted his BS social security email. I detest the “War Department” recruiting commercials that are running on CNN with Smegbreath’s and Dumpy’s voice overs. Wait till Dumpy finds out Dr. Oz is sending out Medicare emails without mentioning him!
Happy Fourth Andy! I too intend to spend some quiet time ! I shall reread Profiles in Ignorance ! 😂It should be required reading for our children and I think you have enough material to expand it from Profiles to Annals of Ignorance ! 😂I’ve enjoyed the audiobook! Great choice on long drives ! 😂❤️
Not sure. But when I was teaching US history and the US Constitution back in the 70's, my students (11th graders) went in and came out WAY more informed than today's cabinet members.
Hmmm....it's 100 degrees, there's nothing to do, the food is overpriced, there are National Guards everywhere, and very limited cooling stations...what could possibly go wrong?
As opposed to Phili, which learned from a previous heat disaster:
I have been talking about Philly's response to heat waves all week. I remember the heat wave that killed over 100 people in Philly. To the city's credit, they got their act together and created a heat emergency system. (They do something similar when it is extremely cold.) I think Paris should learn a thing or two about the emergency system put in place in Philly after that dreadful heat wave. Also of note is the fact that the 1993 heat wave changed the way heat-related deaths are counted, thanks to Philly's then-Medical Examiner, Haresh Mirchandani. https://www.inquirer.com/news/heat-deaths-philadelphia-chicago-climate-change-20230829.html
"...ignorance has become preferable to knowledge, dunces are exalted over experts, and a candidate can win a seat in Congress after blaming wildfires on Jewish space lasers. Being ill-informed is now a litmus test; consequently, smart politicians must pretend to be dumb."
Wow.
I have ordered the book and will be quoting it (with attribution, of course) as far and wide as I can reach.
Thanks for saying the obvious out loud and in an appropriately snarky tone, Mr. Borowitz!
Same here on the alone front. My Citrus Trees and Camellias are just begging for fertilizer. I can see the fireworks in Bainbridge, if I choose to watch...
I was playing America the Beautiful on my piano yesterday and broke into surprising small sobs. Half of me is in mourning; the other half is laughing at your Borowitzian ( is that in the dictionary yet?) "book promotion " column!
If I can laugh at our idiocy I can hope. You bring hope.
Thank you.
( OH, and may the ferris wheel on the Mall stall ( for, say, two and a half years) with a single lone-oranger- rider sweltering at its top, stupidly raging for a diet coke and cell phone.)
I'm going to walk around town with a backpack of Bluetooth speakers blasting live versions of "I'm Afraid of Americans", one by Davis Bowie in Paris 2002, the other by Nine Inch Nails, in Montreal 2009. I recommend giving them a listen. They were on an endless loop in my head for a year after Jan 6th.
Also turning all of the plastic flags in the flower pots around town upside down tonight. They slip right off. it's easy.
I’m sure you can view some more Trump tips in action (so to speak) watching the Uncle Sam guy masturbate at underage gymnasts from a corner somewhere, Andy. Just watch out for the collapsing stages. Enjoy!
Protest Saturday morning, enjoy family Saturday Afternoon and Evening, perform Peter Quince to my husband's Bottom in Midsummer Night's Dream at Theatricum Botanicum in Topanga Canyon (Los Angeles) at 3:30 pm on Sunday. Theatricum was started because Will Geer got blacklisted. Happy Birthday, America.
Carol Ring posted this on another Borowitz Report. It needs to become viral:
" I got this gem from my Canadian friend:
Dear Lord, you’ve taken my favorite actor, Robert Duvall, my favorite comedian, Catherine O’Hara, and my favorite musician, Bob Weir. I just wanted to let you know my favorite president is Donald Trump. "
My favorite recollection of Ralph J. Perk was his wife, Lucy declining an invitation to the Nixon White House. The reason given was that it interfered with his wife’s BOWLING NIGHT.
The question shouldn't be, "Is Donald Trump the dumbest president we've ever had?"
I'd say no. Anyone who can turn politics into a personal fortune worth billions isn't stupid.
The better question is: Who were the real fools?
The people who believed every promise, ignored every warning, and voted for him anyway—only to discover that higher deficits, bigger debt, and broken promises don't magically disappear after Election Day.
Congratulations. You didn't "drain the swamp"—you financed it. And now your children, grandchildren, and maybe even great-grandchildren will be helping pay the bill.
Turns out the biggest con wasn't on Washington. It was on the people who bought the sales pitch.
Trump promised to make America rich again. He just forgot to mention whose bank account he was talking about.
MikeGelt: I disagree with your conclusion: “Anyone who can turn politics into a personal fortune worth billions isn't stupid.” No. Such a person can be stupid - and profoundly ignorant. Those words describe a man who first learns that dumb ends with a B *at age 79*, and boasts about it as if the B will be news to most of the people in the US. What such a man owes his billions to is definitely not smarts or knowledge. Not at all. He owes it to his complete lack of morality, his total ignorance of ethics, his disdain for truth, and his consummate love (after love of self) of the 3 B’s: bullying, bribery and bluster.
You don’t have to agree, but please think just a bit about your conclusions, and your definition of “not stupid.”
Mike Gelt: I’m confused. You wrote - I cut and pasted it! - “Anyone … billions isn’t stupid.” I disagreed because I think he _IS_ stupid. If you did not say he _was_stupid, and affirm that you do not think he is stupid, then you and I disagree. Rereading your post hasn’t helped me get your point. Maybe you intended to insert the sarcasm emoji? (Which doesn’t exist but we need one). Respectfully, RJM
I said he was not stupid - but those who believed his lies were foolish to believe his promises and now everyone will be paying for the debt he has created
We choose stupid, we get stupid. An uninformed, apathetic electorate is the greatest threat to democracy. If American democracy is dying, it's because Americans are killing it.
Andy your provocative, always hilarious truth-telling is a treasure. Your description of presidential malaprops reminds me of a personal favorite: “Ignoranus”; someone who is not only stupid but is also an asshole! Remind you of anyone?
I’m staying indoors as much as possible in NYC’s heat wave. I’ll reread your wonderful book, and maybe watch the fireworks in TV. I’ve spent several July 4ths on 2nd Ave amidst huge crowds ooh-ing and aaah-ing and watching the excitement on children’s faces as each display lit up the sky.
AND, btw , it occurs to me that Don the Ignoramus might have been influenced by “Mein Kampf” into thinking “infantroopen” is a German word. Just saying.
Happy Fourth, Andy. Let’s hope the election results in November show the arc is starting to return to “normality.”
Love your book. And we are planning to spend a quiet day at home. No parades, no flags. To honor the day in my own way, I'll be thinking about some favorite American heroes and writers from the past who built the democracy we are hoping to keep today.
Thank you Andy for such a witty synopsis of the truth and our penchant for making a badge of honor out of the stupidity that will also be on parade this weekend in the ever evolving cesspool of our nation's capital. This will be my first 4th of July without the love who was the light in my life and so I will read the Declaration of Independence and think deeply about the restoration to come as it must.
Happy 4th, Andy! I'll be celebrating what would've been my grandmother's 125th birthday. As a child, I always marvelled at how important she was, not just to me but to the whole rest of our neighbourhood, who also seemed to be celebrating her birthday.
Thank you for Profiles In Ignorance snapshot. This week has gotten me down...the grift is colossal and, it seems, never ending. 😔
I'm so glad to see you identify Reagan and look forward to reading your book. I did not then and I do not now understand why Reagan was called "The Great Communicator". Although he talked in a calm, folksy way, he never said anything that made sense. He is primarily responsible for alienating our not-too-bright citizens away from the world's first government "...of the people, by the people, for the people." and leading them to support oligarchy and authoritarianism.
Or, as Mark Twain once quipped, “Imagine I am a member of Congress and imagine I am an idiot. But I repeat myself.” One of the things we can celebrate with pride is the Constitution that eventually emerged. As James Madison, who wrote most of it said, “It is a machine that can run of itself.” He was referring to perpetual motion machines which were in vogue as a discussion topic back then. There is no such thing as a perpetual motion machine, just as there is no sanity clause. Machines and government are each subject to the frictions of their environments that eventually slow and stop them. Machines need an influx of energy periodically and domocracy needs an infusion of good people. That infusion is happening right now if you watch the success of the Democratic Socialists. They aren’t socialists of course but they are young and enthusiastic and determined to do the right thing for the right reason. It’s amazing how the ebb and flow of American history supplies such generations at just the right time. Look at Rushmore, the faces planted there tell this story. It’s not linear and evenly spaced in time but it is real. The greatest thing about our birthday is that the cycle is renewing right in front of our eyes and it is majestic in its chaotic efficiency.
Good morning! What are your plans this holiday weekend? I intend to spend some quiet time alone away from other people so I’m going to Trump’s Great American State Fair.
Given how pathetic and scarcely attended it is, that entire event could’ve been an e-mail.
It would have gone straight to my spam folder, along with the latest missive from Social Security touting their efforts to make life "affordable for senior citizens". I wanted to smash my computer when I saw that.
Yeah the 🍊💩needs to promote himself in every government communication possible. My wife and I immediately deleted his BS social security email. I detest the “War Department” recruiting commercials that are running on CNN with Smegbreath’s and Dumpy’s voice overs. Wait till Dumpy finds out Dr. Oz is sending out Medicare emails without mentioning him!
I did shout into the void that is my computer when I saw that infuriating email.
🙌🏻
sparsely*
“scarcely “ applies equally well here.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Exactly, but I did see a clip last night where there were dancers who almost got beheaded by a faulty proscenium arch.
Happy Fourth Andy! I too intend to spend some quiet time ! I shall reread Profiles in Ignorance ! 😂It should be required reading for our children and I think you have enough material to expand it from Profiles to Annals of Ignorance ! 😂I’ve enjoyed the audiobook! Great choice on long drives ! 😂❤️
I’d buy it for the “Four Horndogs of the Apocalypse” alone part.
Was Clinton the Fifth Horndog? Or does he stand apart, as El Supremo Horndog (nod to Steely Dan there)?
CIVICS has not been part of school curricula for how long?
Not sure. But when I was teaching US history and the US Constitution back in the 70's, my students (11th graders) went in and came out WAY more informed than today's cabinet members.
Way too long in my opinion
From HS [1958-1962], I recall reading books by Richard Hofstadter:
'The American Political Tradition’;
‘The Age of Reform’.
I just might read Profiles in Ignorance..oh! Wait! I already did! (But it was so entertaining the first time around I will probably do it again.)
Hmmm....it's 100 degrees, there's nothing to do, the food is overpriced, there are National Guards everywhere, and very limited cooling stations...what could possibly go wrong?
As opposed to Phili, which learned from a previous heat disaster:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2026/07/02/how-philadelphias-past-tragedy-prepared-city-todays-extreme-heat/
I have been talking about Philly's response to heat waves all week. I remember the heat wave that killed over 100 people in Philly. To the city's credit, they got their act together and created a heat emergency system. (They do something similar when it is extremely cold.) I think Paris should learn a thing or two about the emergency system put in place in Philly after that dreadful heat wave. Also of note is the fact that the 1993 heat wave changed the way heat-related deaths are counted, thanks to Philly's then-Medical Examiner, Haresh Mirchandani. https://www.inquirer.com/news/heat-deaths-philadelphia-chicago-climate-change-20230829.html
I will put on some light jazz and watch a live cam of the reflecting pool to see if I can spot Jeannine Pirro chasing ducks.
"...ignorance has become preferable to knowledge, dunces are exalted over experts, and a candidate can win a seat in Congress after blaming wildfires on Jewish space lasers. Being ill-informed is now a litmus test; consequently, smart politicians must pretend to be dumb."
Wow.
I have ordered the book and will be quoting it (with attribution, of course) as far and wide as I can reach.
Thanks for saying the obvious out loud and in an appropriately snarky tone, Mr. Borowitz!
AMEN!
"By elevating candidates who can entertain over those who can think, mass media have made the election of dunces more likely."
No wonder the right freaked out and invented the Tea Party in response to Barack Obama's election. Too much intellectualism for them to tolerate!
Same here on the alone front. My Citrus Trees and Camellias are just begging for fertilizer. I can see the fireworks in Bainbridge, if I choose to watch...
😂😂😂 sounds like a plan!
I was playing America the Beautiful on my piano yesterday and broke into surprising small sobs. Half of me is in mourning; the other half is laughing at your Borowitzian ( is that in the dictionary yet?) "book promotion " column!
If I can laugh at our idiocy I can hope. You bring hope.
Thank you.
( OH, and may the ferris wheel on the Mall stall ( for, say, two and a half years) with a single lone-oranger- rider sweltering at its top, stupidly raging for a diet coke and cell phone.)
Oh yes, made me lol!
I'm going to walk around town with a backpack of Bluetooth speakers blasting live versions of "I'm Afraid of Americans", one by Davis Bowie in Paris 2002, the other by Nine Inch Nails, in Montreal 2009. I recommend giving them a listen. They were on an endless loop in my head for a year after Jan 6th.
Also turning all of the plastic flags in the flower pots around town upside down tonight. They slip right off. it's easy.
I'll add "American Idiot" by Green Day to your list.
Ha! I'm going to have brunch with a fellow American who is also NOT feeling at all patriotic.
I’m sure you can view some more Trump tips in action (so to speak) watching the Uncle Sam guy masturbate at underage gymnasts from a corner somewhere, Andy. Just watch out for the collapsing stages. Enjoy!
Oh, how I wish I could be there with you, Andy!
Protest Saturday morning, enjoy family Saturday Afternoon and Evening, perform Peter Quince to my husband's Bottom in Midsummer Night's Dream at Theatricum Botanicum in Topanga Canyon (Los Angeles) at 3:30 pm on Sunday. Theatricum was started because Will Geer got blacklisted. Happy Birthday, America.
Andy as usual a great line, somewhere quiet Trump's American State Fair.
I will be giving thoughts and prayers that a certain speech tomorrow in 107 degree heat ends in a certain way.
Carol Ring posted this on another Borowitz Report. It needs to become viral:
" I got this gem from my Canadian friend:
Dear Lord, you’ve taken my favorite actor, Robert Duvall, my favorite comedian, Catherine O’Hara, and my favorite musician, Bob Weir. I just wanted to let you know my favorite president is Donald Trump. "
I like the way your Canadian friend turned her grief into a positive thing.
Not my friend...Carol Ring's friend. I have never met either.
Ok. I like the way Carol Ring's Canadian friend turned her grief into a positive thing😂
You are an idiot who doesn't have to live under the despot
??????
If there is any justice, Mitch McC and Donald T will both collapse and NO ONE will rush to revive either of them.
AMEN!
I'm not a religious guy, but if this happens, I might just convert.
Me too!🇬🇧
Great minds think alike!
Me, too, LJ, though I imagine there'll be an air-conditioned "bubble" provided.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and Lady Liberty is turning up the temperature...
My favorite recollection of Ralph J. Perk was his wife, Lucy declining an invitation to the Nixon White House. The reason given was that it interfered with his wife’s BOWLING NIGHT.
Epic.
That is gold.
“When stupidity is considered patriotism, it’s unsafe to be intelligent.”
- Isaac Asimov
Certainly true these days. Where/when did he say this?
I don’t know where or when he said this.
The question shouldn't be, "Is Donald Trump the dumbest president we've ever had?"
I'd say no. Anyone who can turn politics into a personal fortune worth billions isn't stupid.
The better question is: Who were the real fools?
The people who believed every promise, ignored every warning, and voted for him anyway—only to discover that higher deficits, bigger debt, and broken promises don't magically disappear after Election Day.
Congratulations. You didn't "drain the swamp"—you financed it. And now your children, grandchildren, and maybe even great-grandchildren will be helping pay the bill.
Turns out the biggest con wasn't on Washington. It was on the people who bought the sales pitch.
Trump promised to make America rich again. He just forgot to mention whose bank account he was talking about.
Happy 4th everyone
MikeGelt: I disagree with your conclusion: “Anyone who can turn politics into a personal fortune worth billions isn't stupid.” No. Such a person can be stupid - and profoundly ignorant. Those words describe a man who first learns that dumb ends with a B *at age 79*, and boasts about it as if the B will be news to most of the people in the US. What such a man owes his billions to is definitely not smarts or knowledge. Not at all. He owes it to his complete lack of morality, his total ignorance of ethics, his disdain for truth, and his consummate love (after love of self) of the 3 B’s: bullying, bribery and bluster.
You don’t have to agree, but please think just a bit about your conclusions, and your definition of “not stupid.”
Everyone is entitled to their opinion however I did not say he was stupid - Read it again
Mike Gelt: I’m confused. You wrote - I cut and pasted it! - “Anyone … billions isn’t stupid.” I disagreed because I think he _IS_ stupid. If you did not say he _was_stupid, and affirm that you do not think he is stupid, then you and I disagree. Rereading your post hasn’t helped me get your point. Maybe you intended to insert the sarcasm emoji? (Which doesn’t exist but we need one). Respectfully, RJM
I said he was not stupid - but those who believed his lies were foolish to believe his promises and now everyone will be paying for the debt he has created
Would you say that his weird obsession with windmills, and denial of climate change, is stupid?
Ignorant
Ignorant
Our country is 250 years old! I can only think of one gift that can be given to our country on this momentous occasion!
I wonder if I could possibly guess what that is.
How bout a certain body found in the reflecting pool
Your guess would be correct..
We choose stupid, we get stupid. An uninformed, apathetic electorate is the greatest threat to democracy. If American democracy is dying, it's because Americans are killing it.
Always love your satire , but this blend of fact and humorfulcy 😊 is something I find extraordifefe. Brilliant!
I'll be marching with Indivisible in our local 4th of July parade.
Andy your provocative, always hilarious truth-telling is a treasure. Your description of presidential malaprops reminds me of a personal favorite: “Ignoranus”; someone who is not only stupid but is also an asshole! Remind you of anyone?
I’m staying indoors as much as possible in NYC’s heat wave. I’ll reread your wonderful book, and maybe watch the fireworks in TV. I’ve spent several July 4ths on 2nd Ave amidst huge crowds ooh-ing and aaah-ing and watching the excitement on children’s faces as each display lit up the sky.
AND, btw , it occurs to me that Don the Ignoramus might have been influenced by “Mein Kampf” into thinking “infantroopen” is a German word. Just saying.
Happy Fourth, Andy. Let’s hope the election results in November show the arc is starting to return to “normality.”
Love your book. And we are planning to spend a quiet day at home. No parades, no flags. To honor the day in my own way, I'll be thinking about some favorite American heroes and writers from the past who built the democracy we are hoping to keep today.
Thank you Andy for such a witty synopsis of the truth and our penchant for making a badge of honor out of the stupidity that will also be on parade this weekend in the ever evolving cesspool of our nation's capital. This will be my first 4th of July without the love who was the light in my life and so I will read the Declaration of Independence and think deeply about the restoration to come as it must.
Happy 4th, Andy! I'll be celebrating what would've been my grandmother's 125th birthday. As a child, I always marvelled at how important she was, not just to me but to the whole rest of our neighbourhood, who also seemed to be celebrating her birthday.
Thank you for Profiles In Ignorance snapshot. This week has gotten me down...the grift is colossal and, it seems, never ending. 😔
I'm so glad to see you identify Reagan and look forward to reading your book. I did not then and I do not now understand why Reagan was called "The Great Communicator". Although he talked in a calm, folksy way, he never said anything that made sense. He is primarily responsible for alienating our not-too-bright citizens away from the world's first government "...of the people, by the people, for the people." and leading them to support oligarchy and authoritarianism.
Or, as Mark Twain once quipped, “Imagine I am a member of Congress and imagine I am an idiot. But I repeat myself.” One of the things we can celebrate with pride is the Constitution that eventually emerged. As James Madison, who wrote most of it said, “It is a machine that can run of itself.” He was referring to perpetual motion machines which were in vogue as a discussion topic back then. There is no such thing as a perpetual motion machine, just as there is no sanity clause. Machines and government are each subject to the frictions of their environments that eventually slow and stop them. Machines need an influx of energy periodically and domocracy needs an infusion of good people. That infusion is happening right now if you watch the success of the Democratic Socialists. They aren’t socialists of course but they are young and enthusiastic and determined to do the right thing for the right reason. It’s amazing how the ebb and flow of American history supplies such generations at just the right time. Look at Rushmore, the faces planted there tell this story. It’s not linear and evenly spaced in time but it is real. The greatest thing about our birthday is that the cycle is renewing right in front of our eyes and it is majestic in its chaotic efficiency.