221 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

Needless to say I will not be watching!

Karen Teige's avatar

I plan to watch another horror show on Netflix.

It's Come To This's avatar

The Creature from the Black Lagoon....

Christa Le Clere's avatar

I'll be watching another episode of a Korean show. Reading the subtitles is easier than listening to him.

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Or something completely zany as an antidote to his venom- A Marx Brothers movie or Monty Python and the Holy Grail ! 😉

Frances López's avatar

Rufus T. Firefly & what goes on in Freedonia are a much better & apt choice.

Kim D's avatar

So does Melania.

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Andy, I was about to thank you profusely for watching all 17 seconds ! 😂The sacrifice of your evening to save the sanity of your TBR community 😉But I still love you and your inimitable satire ! 😂❤️

Elisabeth Birker's avatar

Yes indeed, Andy❣️ You’re the best❣️

The Rickster's avatar

If there’s anything else on TV Substackers can watch, perhaps we could group chat. Or, run a “best of” Borowitz interview. Maybe invite Dave Barry over for beers and comedy?

Marion Mlotok's avatar

It's called State of the Swamp.

And I'll be watching.

Kent Cooper's avatar

Thanks for the link. I'll be watching.

Phil M.'s avatar

Borowitz and Barry? Count me in!

It's Come To This's avatar

There *must* be some adult diaper commercials on some station I can tune into instead....

Frank D Repp's avatar

Yes.,they can sit in the park and watch the grass die

Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

Unless they're in New York. Then they can sit in the park and watch the snow melt.

Wis's avatar

Dave and Andy and beers? ABSOLUTELY!! You may actually *want* to watch the SOTU with those two - you’d get a hilarious running commentary in realtime!

If they can’t make it over though, skip the SOTU and go into the TBR archives instead. Andy interviewed Dave a little while back after Dave’s new book came out.

…It’s a fabulous interview and much, much less likely to cause apoplectic coma.

Bob Graham's avatar

Likewise...can't stomach him.

Meighan Corbett's avatar

I want neither is face or his voice in my head. Ever.

Dan Starr's avatar

Coincidentally, a local church’s “Pub Theology” night coincides with the speech. The subject (also coincidentally, I’m sure) is “how to be a tyrant.” And I’ll be home in plenty of time for Colbert and Kimmel!

Robot Bender's avatar

"Pub Theology?" Sounds like a church worth checking out.

FfsBoise's avatar

I’m confused - is he giving a SOTU address, or a STFU address?

I’ve been hoping that there’ll be a closed captioning available for those who really hate hearing him speak, but I recognize that it’ll be difficult since he’ll be off script within 17 seconds.

Glenn Sills's avatar

Yes! People like you are watching so that people like me don't have to. I will be reading about the speech the next day and in the very unexpected event something that matters was said, I'll read the speech it. I don't have to listen to Trump's voice that way.

You might want to start up a GoFundMe account to take care of the costs of mental health issues you are likely to encounter as a result of your exposure.

Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

I'm certain his team will give him something to "relax" him. My fantasy is to watch him fall asleep at the lectern. But if I start to lose my dinner then all bets are off. Afterwards I'm going to my comedy improv class. Fodder?

Susan Gray's avatar

I was about to declare myself part of the “broad majority,” but then I realized that it would be a shame to break my winning streak of never listening to a Trump SOTU.

Marion Mlotok's avatar

I'll be watching the alternative State of the Swamp, which will be livestreaming for free via defiance.org

Wis's avatar

🤢 If I feel like getting nauseated, angry and depressed, I’ll tune in. However, as fun as that sounds, I plan to read your book, Andy, which I’m hoping arrives today! 🤞😁

Bad Ass Boomer's avatar

I plan to watch paint dry

Al Keim's avatar

We will be pummeled beyond hope tonight. One bright spot will be linking Johnson, Vance and the rest of the assembled republicans to this albatross. With any luck they will roar and clap for the dystopian vision presented.

It appears the real state of the union will be on display outside the house chamber. I'll look for live coverage of that.

Susan Barnes's avatar

Tennessee basketball also comes on at 9. I’ll be there.

Sandra Nicht's avatar

I will check in on the State of the Swamp event

Eskaveeda's avatar

I’ll probably be tucked up in bed and fast asleep by then after having rerun Whiskey Pete’s rad skate dude move in my head for a bit of comic relief.

Kimball C Pier, Ph.D's avatar

Ah the sound of one hand clapping.

Carole Weintraub's avatar

Do I HAVE to listen to the entire 17 seconds?

Bob Graham's avatar

Just watch a pharmaceutical commercial on another channel. That will consume a minute or two..... :-)

Susan Barnes's avatar

Here in Fla it’s injury lawyer ads.

wendy moluf's avatar

That would be 17 seconds of my life that I can’t get back. I can’t afford to waste even 1 second on his rambling bs. Thanks, Andy, for my laugh of the day.

Lawrence Gottlieb's avatar

Tonight could be trump's Lonesome Rhodes' meltdown to insanity moment. see:

'A Face in the Crowd,' Elia Kazan 1958. I hope to see the motherfucker carried out in a

straight jacket, blubbering, and blabbering his way back to an early retirement in Fla.

Ellen Harris's avatar

Early retirement for djt was at least 25 years ago

Enid's avatar

Very clever!!

Marmo's avatar

Lawrence Gottlieb, it would be uplifting to see that, as long as the Dumpsters don't claim that what everyone saw never happened, prop him up and keep him in office anyway. I wouldn't put it past them.

But, I can't stand to see or hear him, so I'll take a pass - anything else but that. I have books that I can read - or I can clean my toilets, which would be preferable to seeing/hearing the rotted pumpkin for even 17 seconds.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Oh, yes, please!!

carol corsaro's avatar

The word picture is perfect!!

Al Gorythm's avatar

The state of panic will preempt the State of the Union address.

Al Gorythm's avatar

Watching Trump’s State of the Union address will be like watching a diaper fill itself.

Lorenzo's avatar

My second instant laugh of the day.

Enid's avatar

Very funny, but how do I erase that image from my mind?!

Al Gorythm's avatar

Trump’s 5 alarm projectile diarrhetoric is faster than a speeding suppository.

Kathy Lee Davis's avatar

you are right to question 17 seconds considering how full of crap he is . . .

Al Gorythm's avatar

We can only hope he doesn’t run the country out of toilet paper again!

Kathy Lee Davis's avatar

I still have 30 rolls from the COVID scare so I think I might be ready . . .

Ellen Harris's avatar

Laughing but hesitate to hit “like”

Johnny Canuck's avatar

The "State of the Delusion" will be another embarrassing night in a term full of embarrassment.

Lucy K.'s avatar

Good to hear Andy! I agree with the majority, 17 seconds will be entirely too long & just seeing his face & hearing his voice at all will be unwelcome. That's why I plan to watch the alternative programming, The State of the Swamp instead & hear news reports of the other. I do feel I'd like to see the survivors, maybe will record the other & fast forward to them. Thank you for your critical reporting at this time.

Irna Gadd's avatar

I wouldn’t watch if it were SEVEN seconds long. Frankly, I hope he really goes off the rails and melts down during the speech - enough that (as Lawrence Gottlieb, said above) he’s taken off stage once and for all. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Marmo's avatar

We don't need to suffer him for 17 seconds to see that, Irna Gadd. If that happens, (🙏) it will get played over and over for the next few days.

Harvey Perry's avatar

No matter what he says or what happens, the Republican enablers in Congress and the fascists in the fascist media will say it was the greatest speech in the history of the world. Much better than Cicero.

Rosemary Ehle's avatar

I thought of watching to keep up with current events. Or maybe the hope of a random sniper?

But I get carsick at the sound of his voice.

Wis's avatar

😂😂 “Or maybe the hope of a random sniper?” Hilarious, Rosemary! 👏👏

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Not worth the mental anguish. You can find salient points in small bits afterward, if you must....

Paul Snyderman's avatar

We'll miss out on the non-event. Still catching up on the murder mysteries available on britbox. The dialog has full sentences consisting of real words.

Irna Gadd's avatar

Britbox is the BEST! We love their shows.

Roberta Ransley-Matteau's avatar

I subscribe to Britbox- wonderful streaming shows.

John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

TUNE IN. THIS MIGHT BE HIS LAST.

“Tomorrow, Trump will deliver the State of the Union address. ‘It’s going to be a long speech,’ he said today, ‘because we have so much to talk about.’ But in a sign of slipping control, many Democrats are skipping the speech to attend the ‘State of the Swamp’ event at the National Press Club or the ‘People’s State of the Union’ rally on the National Mall.” — HCR

Seriously — his last State of the Union address. He will be crazed. He will be spitting hate. Declaring war. Attacking those in robes who can obtain copies of the non-redacted Epstein files. Complimenting ICE. Insisting he should have won the Peace Prize.

Hopefully, the Dow will crash even further before this speech.

And he — along with white poverty voters with no 401(k), evangelicals whose primary political focus is abortion, and gun owners who don’t understand where the right to bear arms came from — the fear of losing their guns to an authoritarian government — will still vote for a man with absolutely no morals.

A government that ignores our Constitution, including our rights.

They are talking about him behind his back.

They are talking with JD.

They will actually have a discussion with the democrats.

Why?

He is actually deranged at this point.

And you will see it tonight.

And instead of running away, the dems should just sit there, smile, and laugh.

But what do I know, Schumer knows what he is doing.

Kathy Lee Davis's avatar

I agree! the Dems should be there and laugh and hug the survivors that will be there.

Ellen Harris's avatar

Why should the Dems suffer? Although maybe they can focus on the midterms and what they’ll be having for dinner

Enid's avatar

🙄(Schumer)

Ellen Harris's avatar

Interesting viewpoint. Although after the first minute it would be hard to watch

John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

You have to. It is like starring at an eclipse.

You start to burn your retina’s by looking too early - the nonsense in the chamber before the speech. Some born again and again Southern Christian screaming in the face of someone wearing a robe.

Then you glide into the eclipse thinking, “hey, he is keeping to the script”, then the retinas are destroyed when he goes off script by announcing that all copies of the epstein’s files must be returned to the library or face huge late fees.

Before the gavel hits, he declares those DOW numbers are “Fake.”

You are then officially blind.

Yet smiling.

Mark P Howard's avatar

I was pretty much with you until you got to Schumer.

Jay F's avatar

This comment has been redacted.

Chris Edwards's avatar

Will Bad Bunny provide an alternative program? I would watch it!

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Priceless! How would we get through the day without you?!

Robert E.'s avatar

Will the speech be followed by a rousing version of "God Save the King", and " How Great Thou Art"?

DebbieM (OH)'s avatar

I will not be listening. Seventeen seconds is enough time for seventeen lies from this bozo.

JBR's avatar

Chat gpt rating: all false. Be worst.