Priceless! What has she done to deserve that? Liking to go to theater isn’t a reason to have the Kennedy Center named after you. They can name a plastic surgeon’s practice after her if they like.
An aside: There have been a few novels that so enthralled and claimed me that I was fearful of their ending. I set a few aside, leaving 20-30 pages to wait for about a month. One book, though, was its own solution. "One Hundred Years of Solitude" was a natural for going from the final page right back to page one. Not to say that I did it, but I still believe it would be right.
E. Jean! Thanks for the great read! Laughed out loud at many things, which is pretty unusual unless I'm reading Borowitz or Wodehouse, and had to grit my teeth for a few other passages. Take care of that Mechlin lace, and remember, the f. of the s. is more d. than the m.
E. Jean -- While you've earned the highest level of respect from all members of Andy's TBR community, and Andy's marketing has helped, you deserve full credit for your courage and well-written Best Seller.
One more point: While Congress is proposing renaming the Kennedy Opera House (second largest venue in the Kennedy Center) after "Immigrant Mel", Andy's post suggests they ought to name the Entire Kennedy Center after you. In the midst of his satire that's a high-level compliment! 😉
And a shout-out to readers to consider passing on their copies to their local Library Branch to be put in the catalog for checkout. Rural libraries especially are struggling to stay open, much less buy this fan favorite of Librarians.
Listened to E.Jean reading her own audio book. What a treat! LOVED her “adulation” of Alina Habba which really set up a good laugh when Habba got bounced by all those NJ judges (even though Scam Blondi came to her rescue — for now)!
By the way, what’s the next read for our book club? If you dare to choose “Melania: A memoir” I will be so disillusioned. I would have to end my subscription and that would make me sad. I can’t start my day without reading your column and remarks.
Ya' know sometimes you have to swim through the sewers to get to the real dirt. I think reading Melania's book could be rather edifying though I'd only read it if I stole a copy. NOT making her any richer! So Linda, hold the line and stay on board.
I suppose she might identify with "La Traviata," except that the courtesan heroine is kind of soulful, and was played by Garbo in a pretty good movie version, and I just can't imagine Melania in a Garbo role. (But maybe she can.)
And was totally selfless in giving up Alfredo so his sister could be happy. I doubt Melania knows how to be selfless. She's been around Donald too long.
Au Contraire - Madam MT may have related to the theme of Les Mesirable, the musical, to be her exposure to opera. The theme of the composition should resonate with her.
Unlike some of the people in the Trump administration, she at least has a competent plastic surgeon and knows when to quit, so maybe we should name the Center after THEM!
a plastic surgeon specializing in cat eyes? The horror story seems to just go on and on and all decent law abiding and hardworking people are trodden upon with governmental blessings...
Actually he wants to name the Opera House in the Kennedy Center after "Melanie" l-- which is distasteful enough.
Don't be surprised if he later renames the entire Center after himself -- last name only.
All of these actions will likely continue to drive away many top-notch performers and audiences. JFK and Jackie are surely rolling over in their graves.
Who says she even goes to the theater? I can pretty much guarantee that she has NEVER darkened the door of a theater where classical music is being played. She is trashy. A prostitute from a poor village in E. Europe.
My ultra-bad! I thought you were referring to E. Jean Carroll! My synapses somehow
went out of control or something.
Elsewhere, I replied to another's post that, indeed, stripper poles would descend like chandeliers. Later I was reminded of the Phantom of the Opera's descending chandelier and thought that there wouldn't be the faintest phantom of an opera performed at the Kennedy Center after a potential renaming to the "Melania Center".
At the White House, press secretary Karoline Leavitt defended the decision to rename the Kennedy Center after Mrs. Trump, stating, “Since President Trump took it over, the Kennedy Center has been just like the First Lady: renovated and vacant.”
The island house has a new roof and that was a challenge and also fun. Now the balance of summer can be spent messing about in boats. The reference to Roy's horse was one of the aphorisms of ute.
Currently fishing in Canada and trying to persuade them to annex us as a new province. I would so appreciate being Canadian now. When are we deporting Melania anyway?
Canadian maps of the US as the 11th province tend to be limited to the west coast, MN and New England. The rest is labelled Jesusland and we want no part of it.
Priceless! What has she done to deserve that? Liking to go to theater isn’t a reason to have the Kennedy Center named after you. They can name a plastic surgeon’s practice after her if they like.
If any of you want to read an amazing book, I strongly recommend E. Jean’s: https://bookshop.org/p/books/not-my-type-one-woman-vs-a-president-e-jean-carroll/22763054?ean=9781250381682&next=t&affiliate=109008
Andy! Swear to Gawd. I think it was the power of your book club which hurled my humble book to the top of the Best Sellers List.
Writing a phenomenal book helped, I think!
Yes E. Jean. I bought my copy when it came out and have yet to finish it. I eat popcorn one kernel at a time for the sheer delight.
An aside: There have been a few novels that so enthralled and claimed me that I was fearful of their ending. I set a few aside, leaving 20-30 pages to wait for about a month. One book, though, was its own solution. "One Hundred Years of Solitude" was a natural for going from the final page right back to page one. Not to say that I did it, but I still believe it would be right.
After 250 years we have birthed a pig, yet hope springs eternal. I have to admit the book lost me as a ute. I'll have to give it another look.
On the contrary E.Jean. It was the power of what you said and how you said it that hurled your book to the top of the Best Sellers List.
Love you, E.Jean! (See my comment below). “The Carroll Center” has a lovely ring to it !
--while "The Trump Dump" is perfect for landfills and their garbage scows!
E. Jean! Thanks for the great read! Laughed out loud at many things, which is pretty unusual unless I'm reading Borowitz or Wodehouse, and had to grit my teeth for a few other passages. Take care of that Mechlin lace, and remember, the f. of the s. is more d. than the m.
So happy to see another Wodehouse fan! Then again, where else would one be?
Clearly you are our hero/heroine!
E. Jean -- While you've earned the highest level of respect from all members of Andy's TBR community, and Andy's marketing has helped, you deserve full credit for your courage and well-written Best Seller.
One more point: While Congress is proposing renaming the Kennedy Opera House (second largest venue in the Kennedy Center) after "Immigrant Mel", Andy's post suggests they ought to name the Entire Kennedy Center after you. In the midst of his satire that's a high-level compliment! 😉
And a shout-out to readers to consider passing on their copies to their local Library Branch to be put in the catalog for checkout. Rural libraries especially are struggling to stay open, much less buy this fan favorite of Librarians.
Such a great idea!
Having just finished the book, I heartily agree. So well written and despite the subject, amusing as well.
I read the book and thought it was terrific!
Both!
Reading it right now
OH! Thank you, Lynn!
Terrific or terrifying or both?
That was an awesome book and I’m very glad to have read it! Ms. Carroll is very talented with writing!!
Listened to E.Jean reading her own audio book. What a treat! LOVED her “adulation” of Alina Habba which really set up a good laugh when Habba got bounced by all those NJ judges (even though Scam Blondi came to her rescue — for now)!
By the way, what’s the next read for our book club? If you dare to choose “Melania: A memoir” I will be so disillusioned. I would have to end my subscription and that would make me sad. I can’t start my day without reading your column and remarks.
Ya' know sometimes you have to swim through the sewers to get to the real dirt. I think reading Melania's book could be rather edifying though I'd only read it if I stole a copy. NOT making her any richer! So Linda, hold the line and stay on board.
Trump Calls On Biden To "Release Victoria's Secret"
From LiarsBible.com - A Borowitz tribute site!
Even better listening to the audiobook and viewing the photos in the book on your computer!
It really should have been named the Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Center. But I'm fine with the EJCC.
P.S. I just checked, and supposedly it's the Center's opera house that Donald wants named for the First Trophy Wife.
(What's it called now, the Ted Nugent Opera House? I’d visit the official Web site, but am nervous about what I might find there.)
Yes. But I can't find any record of the First Trophy Wife ever attending an opera, so that's rather ironic.
I suppose she might identify with "La Traviata," except that the courtesan heroine is kind of soulful, and was played by Garbo in a pretty good movie version, and I just can't imagine Melania in a Garbo role. (But maybe she can.)
We can imagine her in a silent movie.
Fritz Lang's Metropolis.
Just saw the Met production this afternoon (film form) and I would not insult Violetta by confusing her with Melania. Violetta had a heart.
And was totally selfless in giving up Alfredo so his sister could be happy. I doubt Melania knows how to be selfless. She's been around Donald too long.
La Triviata
Subtlety is thy name.
Salome is a good role for Melania. It's filled with psycho behavior.
Melanoma would be best portrayed in the part of Cruella DeVil.
that position is already taken by Tulsi Gabbard
True. A good question is which evil heroine would be the best match. Lady Macbeth?
I'm thinking the third character in Hansel and Gretel.
I think she has made it pretty clear she wants to be alone (not 'best').
Au Contraire - Madam MT may have related to the theme of Les Mesirable, the musical, to be her exposure to opera. The theme of the composition should resonate with her.
The "Kid Rock Opera Center"?
LOL
If they were aware or Proto MAGA history, they would name it for Anita Bryant or Tammy Faye Bakker.
Unlike some of the people in the Trump administration, she at least has a competent plastic surgeon and knows when to quit, so maybe we should name the Center after THEM!
The Melania Knaus Trump Juvederm Center -Be Best!
True bitchiness!
👏👏👏👏
I suspect that Trump is just trying to get Melania to hold his hand.
Stephen Colbert riffs on that regularly doesn’t he?!
Poor Donald!
a plastic surgeon specializing in cat eyes? The horror story seems to just go on and on and all decent law abiding and hardworking people are trodden upon with governmental blessings...
just a matter of time until she starts looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein
Annette, that would be really funny…
I found it so sad how Jocelyn Wildenstein ruined her face because she really had been lovely to look at.
I know . . . she was beautiful the way she was before all the cosmetic surgeries
It's part of her 'post-nup' rewrite, $$$$$$$$$ TBD. But he's got the money from cowardly MSM CBS, ABC. Can NBC be next to cave??
No, it's Columbia University. ARGH!!!
Sorry, but this sounds bitchy-witchy! What am I missing here?
It was snarky. He wants to name the Kennedy Center after Melania who has done nothing to deserve it.
Actually he wants to name the Opera House in the Kennedy Center after "Melanie" l-- which is distasteful enough.
Don't be surprised if he later renames the entire Center after himself -- last name only.
All of these actions will likely continue to drive away many top-notch performers and audiences. JFK and Jackie are surely rolling over in their graves.
It looks like my prediction about naming the entire center after himself may actually materialize -- UGH!
Who says she even goes to the theater? I can pretty much guarantee that she has NEVER darkened the door of a theater where classical music is being played. She is trashy. A prostitute from a poor village in E. Europe.
I am dying😂😂😂
My ultra-bad! I thought you were referring to E. Jean Carroll! My synapses somehow
went out of control or something.
Elsewhere, I replied to another's post that, indeed, stripper poles would descend like chandeliers. Later I was reminded of the Phantom of the Opera's descending chandelier and thought that there wouldn't be the faintest phantom of an opera performed at the Kennedy Center after a potential renaming to the "Melania Center".
Again, my apologies!
No worries! Right after I posted it, I realized I should’ve inserted Melania’s name in there!
Or an escort service.
And I and my fellow citizens will revolt every hour until the Potomac River is renamed the Andy Borowitz Brook!!!
❤️❤️❤️
Babbling Borowitz Brook — assonance AND alliteration!
Plus a play on Trump’s BBB 🙄
The fabled Potomac, historical stream,
Populated by catfish, and walleye, and bream,
Is much more than a brook, or a stream in a holler;
It is sometimes quite large.
Other times, it looks smaller.
But that Borowitz boychik?
A torrent of truth!
He combines Milton Berle with the
Great Dr. Ruth.
E. Jean Carroll, the doyenne dispensing advice,
Is both lovely and funny,
Well-spoken, and nice.
If the Kennedy Center for her were renamed,
All the national Christians would be quite inflamed.
But the Carrolls and Kennedys,
From the Auld Sod,
Are well-known to the artists
And well-known to God.
Ah, Glenn, ah...
Borowitz Brook! Perfect!
The brook of Andy.
Just a mere river??? Rename the Atlantic Ocean the Andy B. Ocean.
The Gulf of Andy Borowitz also sounds nice!
Har!!!
In my long-ago youth, in the cartoons I loved,
There was often a guy in a barrel.
It was funds the guy lacked,
And though Trump’s better backed,
That is my heartfelt wish for Ms. Carroll.
To see Trump in a hogshead, bereft of his clothing, denied his red tie and Viagra,
As he heads for the Falls,
Vainly clutching his balls
And flies off the that great maelstrom, Niagara.
But before Donald enters the river so cold,
With his tiny, bruised hands on his pecker,
He’ll be forced to cough up a cool $M1 from his criminal family’s exchequer.
Elizabeth Jean might then feel
quite serene,
Her financial woes vanquished for sure.
She can sit eating bon bons and sipping liqueurs
In the temples of French haute couture.
As she
<golf clap>
<standing ovation> Ms. Carroll!
BAHAHA to "renovated and vacant" :)
The MelaniaBot Center for the Defunded Arts.
At the White House, press secretary Karoline Leavitt defended the decision to rename the Kennedy Center after Mrs. Trump, stating, “Since President Trump took it over, the Kennedy Center has been just like the First Lady: renovated and vacant.”
You win the Internet for the day again!
First Strumpet -- vulgar and pointless.
Don't you mean "debased" and "Gigoloed?"
--"renovated, vacant, and vapid---"
Renovated, Vacant and Vapid,
Attorneys-at-Law
She is correct, The first lady is a vacant intellect without warmth, charm, witt, a hallow human.
Maybe name a vacant building for her in her home country.
If you like your culture cold, dim and tasteless, go with Melania.
If you prefer sparkling, resilient and brave, then E. Jean Carroll, for sure!
They wanna name the Kennedy Center after Melania??? What are they gonna call it, the Mrs. McShithead Center?
I'm not used to laughing so hard this time of day!
The FLTTC= "The First Lady Tramp Trump Center"
<golf clap> . . . I can see it in gold plate on the building already, John!
LOL
I challenge Melanoma to name 4 opera composers....living or dead!
Hey, she's a genius, remember?!?
she's a genius like my dog is a genius - she knows where to get her food
Woof, woof!
No one ever explained just what she's allegedly a genius at, have they?
You don't want to go there, son
At the risk of ruining your rep, you're adorable.
Thanks. I have my moments of niceness
Your secret is safe with me.
A gold-digger?
Ya' think?!? LOL!
You're right about that. But, facts aren't necessary in the Trump world, you know...
conning men into bringing her into the country (along with her parents) under an Einstein visa
Genius doesn't make you knowledgeable. You have to have made contact with the knowledge.
Another STABLE genius!
As in: Whatta face, whatta figure, two more legs and she'd look like Trigger?
That is so bad that I went back and forth (once) before clicking "liked."
P.S. I asked back up the road if you were having fun. More to the point, I am. Glad I'm moseying through here a couple three days in.
The island house has a new roof and that was a challenge and also fun. Now the balance of summer can be spent messing about in boats. The reference to Roy's horse was one of the aphorisms of ute.
"Even I understood the Roy & Trigger reference. For 'fun," is was referring to goofing around here, but congratulations on the roof and boat freedom.
<giggle>
Grabbing his chest "It's the big one!"
Melanoma: "Who is zis Elizabeth he shouts for?"
Reward's yours today, Al darlin'.
Does that mean he's a good bookie?
But if she knows those 4 composers, he believes she can mention their names in 5 languages, at least.
their names sound the same in any language but i bet she doesn’t tha
Melania: is Opera a new beauty treatment?
Heck, Andy, I'd rename the White House after E. Jean Carroll. She is way classier than the current occupants.
Exactly my thoughts. Bravo!
Thank you, Gabriele. I suggested it in favor of sanity, which seems to be in short supply nowadays. :-)
He should repaint it red for our embarrassment.
The Melania tRUMP Be Best Bordello has a nice ring to it. .
This!! 🤣
Yes. Does the renovation include stripper poles?
Oh, hell yes! They are lowered from the ceiling like chandeliers!
I heard, for the right dollar amount, she'll use the new flag poles her meal ticket, I mean husband, installed on the White House lawn.
“Renovated and vacant”. Can’t stop laughing 😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹 THANK YOU!
Another well deserved win for Ms. Carroll.
Currently fishing in Canada and trying to persuade them to annex us as a new province. I would so appreciate being Canadian now. When are we deporting Melania anyway?
Canadian maps of the US as the 11th province tend to be limited to the west coast, MN and New England. The rest is labelled Jesusland and we want no part of it.
and we have our quota of middle-European strippers so Melania might have to wait a few years to get to the top of the wait list.
Jesus could ascend to heaven from there while the rest of us just fly over!
(Of course, Jesus would go very quickly, just to get away from his followers!)
Maybe we should think about this a little while. Rather than an 11th province, perhaps the U.S. should be annexed as the fourth, remote Territory?
lol
<snort laugh>
When someone throws holy water on her and she dissolves into a cloud of sulfuric smoke!
I'm melllllttttiiiinnnnggg
Yes, and Barron should be stripped of citizenship. The whole lot should take up residence on Mars with Musk.
I believe no one wants her . . . even El Salvador
Yes! E Jean is a hero and a terrific writer.
You are truly a light in the darkness! You provide many of the bright spots in our dark world.
Andy you have outdone yourself. Can imagine a world without you
Can or can’t? 😀
Can’t. Can’t. Can’t.
you can edit your posts with the three dots on the right. Wish everyone knew that!
Right. But you have to slow down and realize the need.
Thank you !!
The Kennedy Center has a nice ring to its name as long as people understand it is not named after RFK, Jr.
To change the name at all would be disrespectful and uncalled for.
They should name the prison Trump eventually winds up in after E. Jean Caroll.
It's like the Rose Garden thing ? How dare he/she and their side kick try to erase the John and Jackie Kennedy name.
Horrible, horrible, horrible!
The E. Jean Carroll Alligator Farm!
John, I like that one. It has a deep growling “ring” to it
Now you’re talking!!
That’s what I’m taking about
Nailed it John