521 Comments
User's avatar
Ed Krisiunas's avatar

Remove the C from CBS...and you have "BS"

Andy Borowitz's avatar

The Ellisons would also like to remove the C from CNN = No News

SCS - Michigan's avatar

See No News (borrowing from earlier comment)

Diane Doyle's avatar

Hear no news. Speak no news.

jon Hodson's avatar

see no news. Only MAGA propaganda

Wendy Tucker's avatar

It's twoooo, it's twooo. (Think of Madeline Kahn in 'Blazing Saddles'). CNN is nothing more than very boring specials. I wonder if MSNow would find a place for Anderson.

pjsamith's avatar

I block CNN after that last Trump Town Hall a while back. What fools they are! They give him too much air time.

MSNow is my one and only source for sane viewpoints.

Jodie Pine's avatar

Loved Madeline Kahn!

shee-rah's avatar

That’s my favorite movie ever.

shee-rah's avatar

I stopped watching CNN when they fired Don Lemon.

Anne B's avatar

I’ve always called Cable Non News😉

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Change the "C" to "B", and you have "Bari's Bull Shit".

Kitso's avatar

Let’s see; the C could stand for Cowardly, Crazy, Crappy…any other suggestions?

Annette's avatar

and the intro to the former 60 Minutes, will be "tick, tick, boom"

marypaz's avatar

More like tick.. tick..pfft.

Veejer's avatar

Next up in emojis: <snort laugh>

Annette's avatar

oh, I can't wait to see that one!

John Townsend's avatar

--and then pop a spring or slowly wind down....

Wis's avatar

😅👏👏

Jocelyn B's avatar

(Seen the movie? It’s really good.)

Annette's avatar

I did enjoy it!

nks's avatar

And the clock hands ticking backwards.

Jeff Luth's avatar

Very good. CBS-

Cowardly Broadcasting Service.

It’s a blessing Ed Murrow and Walter Cronkite are not alive to see this.

Judy Shaffer's avatar

I feel the same about Katharine Graham & Ben Bradley with the Washington Post. All of these folks are rolling over in their graves.

BJones's avatar

There's a lot of spinning-in-their-graves going on these days (who can keep up with all the entries??).

I'm surprised the Earth hasn't come to a screeching halt & reversed direction by now to go backwards!

John Townsend's avatar

That'll happen when the glaciers and poles melt and you can surf from your front door!

Penny Pawl's avatar

as long as Rump and team are in office the earth is definately going backwards.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

I am nodding so rapidly by head might fall off. They'd be appalled. And they'd leave.

John Townsend's avatar

The thumping you hear is they doing hard casket-twirls!

Judith Green's avatar

Were you suggesting Creepy Bull Shit? I like that but there's also a place for Crass Bull Shit.

jon Hodson's avatar

At least CBS left trumps name off the kennedy center honors last night.

Judy Sherwood's avatar

probably an oversight for which they WILL be admonished

John Townsend's avatar

Ferruled with a gold-plated ruler!

Debi's avatar

comatose catastrophe creepy cringeworthy

Kate Delano-Condax Decker's avatar

Creepy, Crummy, Coarse, Catastrophic...

modj's avatar

How 'bout; "C for Complicit?"

J Cheng's avatar

but does she use Ivanka's definition of "complicit" or the real definition?

Kitso's avatar

I don't think she even knew what the word means--she's as fraudulent as her father

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Does Ivanka know how to spell? Or read....daddy doesn't.

CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

Not necessary, because she know how to marry well.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Daddy will always take care of daughterwife--after all, he wanted to date her. VacantFaceJared has family money, but it is bupkis (Yiddish for very little) compared to daddydonald who will always come across for her. Even if Melanomia gives her the stare..........

D ODonnell's avatar

Ouch, that hurt.

Judy Sherwood's avatar

Ivanka publicly acknowledged that she does not know the definition of 'complicit'

Mary Roeser's avatar

It's 3 syllables long. That's why Princess Ivanka doesn't know its definition. Not knowing what "complicit" means hasn't stopped either her or Jared the Creepy Horror Movie Guy from actually being complicit, has it?

It's Come To This's avatar

Weiss-Scheiße. 4 minutes of slobbering Trumpf-Poo every Sunday night.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Too close to "Two Minutes Hate" for comfort!

Linda's avatar

Likewise, remove the S from CBS and you are left with Cowardly Bastards...also a definition of the Republican party.

John Townsend's avatar

--or "C" could mean "Crappy"?

Vic's avatar

Remove the SEE

Donna H Kurz's avatar

👍🏻 perfect!

Larry Caringer's avatar

Weiss also said, “News is in the eye of the beholder. And, the beholder is Donald Trump. Next week we”ll have a 60 Minutes on “How Much Better Federal Buildings Look With His Name Slapped on Them.”

Linda McCaughey's avatar

As soon as possible, we will all gather in the appropriate places with appropriate tools and pry every reminder of this horror show off every place it defaces---right?? Who's with me?

Gary Farrar's avatar

I'm in. We'll have a bonfire.

Neranza B's avatar

Including the engraved lies on all those plaques below the photos in the presidential hall.

Annette's avatar

Especially those lies!!

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

With one addendum: Trump's official WH portrait will be a photo of a smear of excrement.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

...inside a barred enclosure. maybe just a blank white canvas...?

marlyg's avatar

As it should be!

Wendy Tucker's avatar

What a wonderful image. Thank you.

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

What can I say? It's what best expresses my feelings about thr Orange Horror.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

I think many agree with you.

Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

Ew. I'm eating breakfast!

Liz kelley's avatar

The Bonfire of the Vanities. Sort of an Oscar, only made of lead.

Olivia Ward's avatar

We'll call it Bonfire of the Vanity.

Marmo's avatar

I'm in, Linda McCaughey!

This is what I've been day-dreaming every since I heard about the changes. Literally, you've been in my head - this thought is where I go to find joy these days.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

We need to make it abundantly clear that there is nothing he can do that we cannot undo!

pilgrimRVW's avatar

Except, tragically, the divisive hatred and lowering opinions he sowed or gave unlimited power to express in the minds of a great many people. Things already there, like racism and misogyny, and new things, like anti-education, or at least education that can often unlock barriers such as racism and sexism.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

We have to keep protesting and disobeying and speaking the truth--over and over and over again. The truth will out. These posts and comments and responses AS WELL AS ANDY are proof positive.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Right on, girl!

Power to the People!!!!!!!

Denise Bleak's avatar

Love is unlimited. It unleashes light into darkness.

D ODonnell's avatar

Another new thing: anti-science.

Al Keim's avatar

I'll bring the Genie lift.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Oh, thank you! I was hoping someone had one!!

Al Keim's avatar

Safety harnesses- lanyards - hard hats - everything we need.

I imagine the Smithsonian will want them for an exhibit on democracy.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

What about the gallows that were to be used for poor hapless Pence 1/6/21. It could be spray painted gold and have Trumpety Dumpety's name embossed on the top. The Donald John Trump Memorial Gallows.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Yes! Oh, yes, please!!!

Al Keim's avatar

That's Meg Ryan's line.

Rebecca MacGregor's avatar

Only after documenting it for the history books.

marlyg's avatar

Count me in! I'll bring fortification!

Betty Dabney's avatar

Oops, for a minute there I thought you said fornication.

Johanna Smith's avatar

Definitely! With my cold, bleeding fingers I would do it!

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Let me know where and when. I'm in.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Watch this space!!

And, find your best sledge hammer....

John Townsend's avatar

Bring on the chisels!

LHS's avatar

She can just borrow Wall Street Journal Editorial titles. A few recent examples (not making any of them up):

How the Supreme Court Can Improve Politics

Trump's Foreign Policy is Surprisingly Good for the World

America Needs More Husband Material

The Trump Rebound

Europe's Foolish War on X.com

Why is Autism Exploding? Welfare Fraud is One Reason

I sometimes think they are auditioning for a job at The Onion. Weiss would fit right in with that crowd.

Larry Caringer's avatar

My ears get red just reading the headlines. Tranquilizers definitely needed to wade into one of those stories.

John Townsend's avatar

--along with sunglasses to prevent eyeburn!

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Please tell me those are not really real....what an abject embarrassment!

Pamela Widmer's avatar

Are you serious LHS? Does the Wall Street Journal now write fluff pieces? Sorry to ask, but I stopped reading it when I retired.

Joe Hart's avatar

I wonder if he'll try billing the country for licensing fees for everything he plasters his name on?

Elizabeth Matthews Brunt,MD's avatar

That’s an AWESOME thought! And if it isn’t paid, of course he’ll sue!!!!

John Townsend's avatar

--by then, we hope, he'll be in jail and crying, "Boo, Hoo"!

Karen Lightfoot's avatar

What foolish ghoulish lawyer is there that would take a losing t-rump case. They all know they won’t get paid and likely will get disbarred.

Wis's avatar

We all better see Mt Rushmore quickly before trump blasts the faces off the monument and replaces them with one huge, fat trump face with little noem, Patel, bondi, miller, rfk jr, hegseth, musk (maybe) faces orbiting above his like an evil halo. Add in any faces I’m forgetting (I just woke up).

He’ll do it. And he’ll call it All the King’s Cabinet.

Wis's avatar

(And declare it the “best, most bigly national monument in America and the best, most bigly 8th wonder of the world.” The plaque underneath will give the site an entire new history, erasing everything that’s actually true.)

Lisa Botwinick's avatar

Don't give him any ideas!

Wis's avatar

Luckily, he doesn’t likely read TBR! 😉

CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

Luckily, he doesn't read...Period!

Denise Bleak's avatar

Top Job reads this Substack.

Hiya!

John Townsend's avatar

Faces on the cliff, rocks in their heads!

MARK Emmanual GOLDSTEIN's avatar

That’s a misquote. Didn’t he actually say “News is in the behind of the beholder…”?

Brenda Reiss's avatar

Surrounded by cheesy gold

L B Rose's avatar

This could actually happen! As CBS becomes TBS -- or DJTBS (even though there is already a TBS which the Orange could eliminate with a swipe from his autopen)

Paul Sarapas's avatar

All the news that fits. Soon to be called 60 seconds. “We regret to inform you that tonight’s story on the holocaust can’t be aired since Hitler hasn’t had a chance to review. “

Susan Barnes's avatar

Bingo! Best comment yet!

Annette's avatar

<appreciative applause>

Paul Sarapas's avatar

In all fairness I’m sharing a meme that I saw on Reddit. But please feel free to share. It’s so appropriate to the horrific times we are in and not much of a stretch unfortunately.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

What a great great great line.

John Townsend's avatar

--and someone stole the Ouija Board!

BTAM Master's avatar

Take a moment to thank our Canadian friends for posting the CECOT story; it may have inadvertently become the most watched 60 Minutes segment in history...and CBS won't even get the viewing ratings.

Will Weiss get the credit if Trump declares a new tariff against Canada?

Robin Brenner's avatar

Who was it who suggested New England become a new Canadian province. I'm game!

Wis's avatar

We Coloradans want to be a Canadian province too! That’d be so awesome.

D ODonnell's avatar

Yes, we do dear.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

And Michigan, especially the U.P.! 'I can see Canada from my house!!'

Al Keim's avatar

The left coast is ready Robin.

Roberta Ransley-Matteau's avatar

I live in Maine and I would like to be part of the Maritimes.

Al Keim's avatar

The Gulf of Maine could become the Gulf of Canada:-)

pilgrimRVW's avatar

And New York, and considerable swaths of PA, NJ, DC and maybe even DE. At least my part of PA. (Too old and not wealthy enough to emigrate.)

Karen Lightfoot's avatar

I wish New Mexico could get on that train

John Townsend's avatar

What about California? It's much warmer! Come on, Canada, pick us first!

Annette's avatar

Oh Canada, the true north strong and FREE!

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Absolutely! Love that place, and many of the people who live there are cherished friends!

Lee Roscoe's avatar

Tod Maffin, Canadian comic on youtube!! Shreds T et al.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Thank you BTAM Master -- Important to give major thanks to whoever in Canada made this airing possible. Oh, Canada -- dah dah dah dah dah daaaah.

CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

I was able to find it on-line this morning, here https://www.readtpa.com/p/watch-the-60-minutes-segment-cbs . I understand that Ellison/CBS is trying to get any copies of it removed from the internet, so wanted to see it before it's gone. Clearly, there is no basis for Weiss pulling it last Sunday. She should be ashamed!

D ODonnell's avatar

Thanks for finding this and sharing, Carla. Serious, terrible stuff; good for the Canadians who made it possible.

Bob Clark's avatar

No Walter Cronkite. No 60 Minutes. Thank God for Fareed Zakaria and for the PBS NewsHour,

Dirk  Faegre's avatar

Heartfelt thanks for Rachel Maddow, Heather Cox Richardson, Paul Krugman, and Joyce Vance. The very best in the business. 🙏

Wis's avatar

And Robert Reich! And Civic Shout, The Intercept, Common Cause and soooo many other voices in the dark. Resistance is strong and it’s smarter than this regime!

Robot Bender's avatar

Don't forget Mary Trump!

Wis's avatar

Oh, yes! There’s also Jay Kuo (The Status Kuo) and The Dworkin Report. And The Lincoln Project.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

At first she was just the left-out-in-the-cold cousin....but look at her now!

Lisa Botwinick's avatar

Lawrence O'Donnell too as he tells it like it is!

Dirk  Faegre's avatar

Yes Lawrence does but he says it too many times. Way too many!

Lisa Botwinick's avatar

It needs to be repeated and he does it in different ways!

Dirk  Faegre's avatar

Not for me. It’s the same words over and over and over again.

I tape him, watch the first 5 minutes and then skip ahead past the first set of commercials. He brings a lot more joy to his broadcast that way.

If you can’t get his beginning message during the first 2 to 3 times thru ……….

Sandra Nicht's avatar

I thank God for Reveal and Mother Jones....

Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

I’ll add the Intercept, ProPublica, and there are others, oh Just Security is good too.

Susan Barnes's avatar

He’s already gone after PBS and NPR. But the donors have stepped up.

Rebecca MacGregor's avatar

Amy Goodman @ Democracy Now. Pod Save America. Pod Save the World. Robert Reich. Stephen Colbert. Jon Stewart.

LHS's avatar

And The Guardian! And Mother Jones! And others already mentioned.

Joan Schiavi's avatar

Don’t forget Mehdi Hasan, Nicole Wallace and Lawrence O’Donnell

Bob Clark's avatar

I need to toss in the Associated Press as well. As soon as I ditched my WAPO subscription, I took the money I would save and contributed it to AP. It is the longest running unbiased news source in the business and needs our support.

And a new one: Tangle. Try it!

Wis's avatar

The AP did stand up to trump. And like the NYT, they still have integrity to grace their longevity.

LHS's avatar

Reuters, too. Straightforward news stories, without trying to make the story make you-know-who look good or feel good.

Dee Simons's avatar

I realized it might be a good thing PBS was refunded, at least for the time being.

Dee Simons's avatar

Autocorrect, defunded

jb from Weston's avatar

Dee,

Just fyi, you can always edit your [own] comment by tapping on the 3 dots to the right of it.

Dee Simons's avatar

Good to know. Thanks.

misia.d's avatar

I learned this from jb months ago! Life changer!

MZ's avatar

Thank you. I needed to do that.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Oh Dee---I should have read your correction. My joy vanished. But important to know and deplore this reality.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Yes. And to Lawrence O'Donnell and others at MSNow. Lawrence's hatred for TrumpetyDumpety grows by leaps and bounds every night. It's palpable.

Wis's avatar

The Guardian rocks, too, and I like the NYT (usually).

Paul's avatar

Andy, Please start a go fund me page to send Trump back to Epstein's Island, but limit donations to not include any food, just Kristi Noem and her gun.

Wis's avatar

Thats my vote! CECOT!

Pamela Widmer's avatar

I was thinking the same. Trump needs to experience what he dishes out to others.

Robin Brenner's avatar

trump's Elba! However, I'd rather it be in a deserted island off Africa.

Beth Davis's avatar

Andy Rooney is spinning in his grave. Oh how I would love to hear his take on the hot mess that is now 60 Minutes.

Wis's avatar

All the original 60 Minutes crew are spinning with Andy, I’m sure.

Wis's avatar

No doubt. He took Cronkite's job when Walter retired, back when the network and the job meant something.

justin SG's avatar

Thanks for your ever-present humor in these humorless times.

When it comes to news, the Guardian is free of Billionaire Bias...

Stan Ruth's avatar

The current “brain trust” at See BS News seems to have forgotten that Canada could broadcast what they attempted to censor here. Perhaps the new Voice of America will be broadcast from Ontario these days.

Mary Gilbert's avatar

Yes! During WWII my British mother listened to Radio Free Europe-maybe we can have Radio Free America broadcast from Canada?

Al Keim's avatar

Phillip K. Dick

John Townsend's avatar

"The Voice of North America"?

Wendy Tucker's avatar

What an outstanding idea.

Glenn Sills's avatar

I find it interesting that the people who are against censorship on social media are all for it everywhere else.

Al Keim's avatar

The supreme court will clear all that first amendment confusion up with a few shadow docket pronouncements.

carol corsaro's avatar

The Supremes are questionable. The majority have turned their backs on us.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

With the exception of a few good women (sorry Amy, you didn't make the cut)--they are just acquiescing to Clarence who is acquiescing to Trumpety Dumpety.

Pamela Widmer's avatar

Yeah! Why bother with a long winded hearing!

Lisa Botwinick's avatar

Definitely! The Trump Supremes!

Al Keim's avatar

Beyond question.

Jay Feldman's avatar

Four minutes including three and a half minutes of commercials….

Annette's avatar

for tRump's products . . . the bankrupted ones will be resurrected and gilded in cheap gold paint (even the steaks!)

Lonnise Gilley's avatar

That likeness is scary. Which of Metamucilini's misguided wives is Eric's mother? Who is junior Ellison's mother? Could there be a mix up of parentage? Was Ellison senior also an "investor/client/friend" of Epsteins? I'm truly saddened that I can no longer enjoy 60 minutes, Sunday Morning (both of which were staples in my house while growing up in the 60's & 70's). Another one bites the dust. Thank goodness for MSNOW and Substack? Happy f***ing Xmas.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

Yes. With the exception of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (sorry....only sometimes), MSNOW is on all the time.

John Melmed's avatar

I watched CBS news last night and it was glaringly absent in any political news. The headliners were a several minute piece about a small plane that crashed into Galveston Bay, an explosion in a senior care center that killed no one and severe flooding in California that hasn't happened yet. This wasn't news; it was an episode of Weather CBS has Gone Viral.

Annette's avatar

damn those Jewish space lasers!

John Melmed's avatar

Annette, they're deadly but they're kosher.

John Townsend's avatar

--not to mention those goyish ones.....

John Melmed's avatar

That kind are too small to cause much damage, John.

John Melmed's avatar

I changed my mind. Last night's news was an episode of 'America's Funniest Videos'. I'd like to see a news show called 'The Good News' featuring only good news.

carol corsaro's avatar

When I watch the news

ai expect precise reporting on our country’s

carol corsaro's avatar

…..I expect precise and well documented facts…not blather🎄

LHS's avatar

Sadly, 2 people are known dead from that explosion.

John Melmed's avatar

Reporters for CBS news maybe? Gas was smelled 2 days prior and nothing was done about it.

Margo Howard's avatar

Imagine my joy at seeing "the lucky sperm club" which i used in a magazine article in the early 70s!

Andy Borowitz's avatar

Did you invent that? It has become common parlance!

Margo Howard's avatar

Did you invent that? It has become common parlance / My ma did the same. 🤗

Al Keim's avatar

And here I thought it was Amy Tan.

Margo Howard's avatar

She's maybe 15 years junior to me...

Al Keim's avatar

Oh I realize now that I was confused. Just seeing joy, luck and club in order threw me off track:-)

Al Keim's avatar

I think Eric's mom is no longer with us.

Wendy Tucker's avatar

She is sort of with us. Poor old Ivana was cast aside in favor of Bimbo Marla Mapes (mother of forgotten-child Tiffanyeeeeee). But Ivana got even. Bigly settlement. For a time, Donnie Jr. wouldn't talk to daddy. They all made up. Years later, she fell down the stairs in her apartment in NYC. She was buried in a gold casket (really!) and is interred in ex's golf course (Bedminster) in N.J. You can't make this shit up.

Al Keim's avatar

Just like old Yeller, snif ;-(

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

The turds who now run once-proud CBS News

Make it clear that they have neither scruples nor clues.

Where once Eric Sevareid broadcast his views,

The staff is now leaving by ones and by twos.

And that fine ticking stopwatch that heralded Rather

Now announces an hour of MAGAfied Blather.

If you must spike your story of outlaws like ICE,

Take that call from the White House,

Then call Bari Weiss.

Kathy's avatar

Barry Weiss has officially en-joined the Pam Bondi, Kash Patel, Marco Rubio, Witkoff, Kushner and VD Vance Cabal to wish Donold & Melania Trump a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Frances Snedeker's avatar

Best to learn to spell her name before you criticize her!

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

It's actually spelled B-O-Z-O

John Townsend's avatar

Maybe it's the middle name?

BTAM Master's avatar

News Flash! Weiss' sole supporter mistakenly reads TBR thinking (s)he was on Breitbart.

Sheryl Thompson's avatar

Awwww. Did your feelings for Barry (intentional spelling) get hurt?

Frances López's avatar

Sometimes a spelling indicates gender. My name is often misspelled & it pisses me off. Let's spell Bari's name correctly. Assign credit & blame properly. "Barry Weiss" is an attorney I worked with in Beverly Hills.

Kathy's avatar

Who cares? I heard she’s changing her name to Complicit