111 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

I don't know why David Ellison is bothering to mess up 60 Minutes--ever since he cancelled Colbert, no one's watching CBS anyway.

Diane Doyle's avatar

With 60 Minutes gone, even fewer people will watch CBS.

Lee Roscoe's avatar

All of mainstream nightly news ABC, NBC is a mess, too. A little bit of news, then just weather and human interest crap and big pharma commercials. Shocking.

Quizzically Bemused's avatar

The only fortunate thing is that the demographic for CBS is geriatric and like CBS is in hospice. No doubt it was an inexpensive business expense to genuflect to Cheetolini for a blessing for more commercially viable acquisitions.

Stephen Brady's avatar

Unfortunately, Dear Leader is watching... just checking that his revenge against 60 Minutes has been completed.

Diane Smith's avatar

Doubtful. He probably just has people tell him what's on while he scrolls.

Cathy Blum's avatar

So true.

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Andy , You are waxing brilliantly mischievous this morning !😂Bari Weiss and Kim Jong Un at DLT sounds like a dream team ! And nobody’s watching CBS! Instead we’re busy poring over TBR, the Home of Truth and Prescience! 😂❤️

Sue Munda's avatar

DTL! 🤣😂🤣

Susan Kice's avatar

Friends and family are all boycotting CBS. Don't miss them!

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Andy, O Prescient One, Please don’t put crazy ideas like DLT in Trump’s head ! 😂😂While we are laughing our heads off, he’s perfectly capable of announcing the DJT network! All Trump All The Time Forever! 😂😂💕

Glenn Sills's avatar

So true. The only things I know about CBS now comes from Bari Weiss pieces in The Guardian. Somehow, switching to YouTube to watch Colbert makes me feel dirty though.

Wis's avatar

🤣 “DLT (Dear Leader Television)”. With my sleepy eyes, I read “Dear Lady Television”. Didn’t matter - both versions crack me up. I did at first wonder what was so “dear” about Bari and why Kim Jong Un would tolerate that acronym until I blinked the sleep from my eyes and reread.

Thanks for the giggles!!

Katherine James's avatar

What's crazy is it is well known around this town that CBS caters to "Old People". Hmmm. As do a lot of the Trump protests I attend. Is this simple math (the only kind I can do)?

Sean M Carlin's avatar

Bari is not going to like how her new boss terminates employees, it does not require a severance package just a burial plot.

Sandra Nicht's avatar

this is the best comment!

Marc Emory's avatar

Well, if you are being literal, it DOES involve a severance, but in this case it means severing the head from the neck.

Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Finally a “safe space” for Bari’s views!

M Apodaca's avatar

Reposted by NY Times Pitchbot

‪Bill Grueskin‬

‪@bgrueskin.bsky.social

· 6h

I'm Mike Lindell.

I'm Herschel Walker.

I'm Mel Gibson.

I'm Sidney Powell.

I'm Riley Gaines.

Those stories and more.

Tonight.

On 60 Minutes.

Susan Kice's avatar

Hysterical!

Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Bari adding Mel Gibson shows her open-mindedness for alternative views on Jews and Zionism!

Anne J's avatar

Her new show, Face the Regime, premieres this fall.

Frank D Repp's avatar

Kindly send Tucker Carlson,too.

Bad Ass Boomer's avatar

Oh that’s great!!! I can see it now. “Live from Pyongyang!! Bari Weiss and Tucker Carlson bring you ‘Good Morning North Korea’”.

Katherine Goodman's avatar

The logical next step after Trumpmania — join his best boyfriend’s regime 😁

Lynne's avatar
2hEdited

After the exit of Stephen Colbert, I was convinced not to watch CBS but would continue to watch 60 Minutes, but want to watch the Tonys so I will see if some streaming network is showing it. Bari Weiss would make Kim Jong Un proud, no free speech for her! I hear CBS has changed their logo to a bobble head!

Diane Doyle's avatar

The Weisswascher in Chief would be a great fit for running North Korea's media.

John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

Loved this one Andy:

““I was a big fan of her work at CBS,” said the North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un.”

Great zinger!

Helen Kopec's avatar

Dear Leader Television- too funny! Another winner from our Andy.

Steve Benko's avatar

Asked about the move, "It's not really about the money or power over there. It's the outfits he promised me," Weiss responded. "Jung Un and I are the same age and have so much in common, including fashion taste." She denied rumors of a consulting contract with Extramarital Affair Denial LLC, the new firm founded by Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowki.

Patricia Fernandez-Kelly's avatar

Very funny but I can't laugh. I'm so livid about what these hacks are doing to this country without scruple or conscience. I want to cry.

Barbara G Bornstein's avatar

60 minutes was in a class all by itself. Now Scott Kelley has been fired. Is there anything left of what that show stood for?

Irna Gadd's avatar

TBR does it again - you’ve given us the best description of by whom BW’s work ethic is most appreciated. I hope her stay at DLT, and her cozying up to KJU, brings her immense job satisfaction. I’m sure whoever is left at CBS will be happier to be rid of her. Whom will Ellison find next?

Lucy K.'s avatar
2hEdited

Spot on, very funny!! 😄 I'm sure the executives at CBS are very disappointed to lose her, but I heard some of the Cabinet members similarly lacking experience are willing to take on her position in addition to their own, & bring the same level of obedience to the network chiefs.

Diana's avatar

A popular history professor told us back in the 70's that the USA was clearly on the downhill slide. He offered as evidence that CBS had replaced the great Edward R. Murrow with Mr. Ed, the talking horse. I wonder what cosmic forces are at work, with CBS being run by David Ellison, who so strongly resembles Mr. Ed.

Steven Weaver's avatar

At least Mister Ed was a true “Stable” Genius. He posted on social media using a pencil held in his mouth to dial a rotary phone.

Cindy Froggatt's avatar

Please don’t criticize Mr. Ed. That was my favorite TV show as a little kid in the 1960’s. I even named a pet duck Mr. Ed and hoped it would talk to me!