109 Comments
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Mary F Englebert's avatar

If only there were a really high likelihood that coma could last until a more permanent solution presented itself.

Leslie's avatar

More of Barron's energy drink perhaps?

Mary F Englebert's avatar

Only if it tastes like crap.

Jerr's avatar

I suggest that instead of tasting like crap, make it taste like Diet Coke and if it really stimulates a person, he will drink gallons on it and increase his blood pressure and he would pop a cork, so to say.

Octavia Redwood's avatar

I'm wondering about a debilitating stroke, which leaves him with some function, requiring us all to see him looking incapacitated while drooling and babbling. Divine justice. Chaos will rule DC. Church bells will ring. After that, it could be a new beginning. The sun's coming up, tomorrow...one can always imagine...Or it could happen after he drink's Barron's beverage IRL

Mary F Englebert's avatar

I've long said basically the same thing, but I always add that I hope his grifting "clone" children put him in a 5th floor 2 room apartment in one of Kushner's run-down, rat-infested tenement buildings with no air conditioning and a broken elevator. I hope they hire women who secretly hate his guts to look after him, and they let him lie in his own excrement for days. And, I want him to know every single bit of it. Am I heartless and cruel? Only when the individual is so heinous I can't help myself.

Frances López's avatar

This appears to have been well thought out for some time. It sure beats my evil fantasies.

Mary F Englebert's avatar

Thank you. When I'm feeling particularly angry, it's the image I conjure. If I can't have the real thing happen, it's an acceptable substitute for the time being.

Lucy Conner's avatar

I've had similar thoughts! He needs to be cognizant, but unable to speak. Drooling on himself and being held accountable - roll him into a courtroom in wheelchair and be a the orange spectacle. Then he can go to the tiny apartment or prison!

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Oh my my my, Mary! Methinks you've given voice to the secret fantasy we all share that his karma will bite him in the ass BIGLY. Apparently in Medieval through Renaissance medicine those ignorant dolts thought that you use "like" to treat "like" -- such as, binding a wound incurred in disgusting circumstances with human shit drenched wrappings. Well...... Seems apropos here, yes? That his infirmities be "treated" with the shit he forced on all of us?

Mary F Englebert's avatar

You know, sometimes dreams DO COME TRUE. Let us sincerely hope this is one of those times.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Right there with ya, sister!

Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

Floofie, way to go, you are snapping back! Way to go!

Jan's avatar

No. You are simply articulating what I imagine thousands, if not millions,of us fantasize after each new story of depravity, cruelty and corruption is revealed. So at least once daily, minimum. You’re in good company, Mary 🤬

Diana's avatar

Might we add RFK Jr. as his primary car "physician"?

Mary F Englebert's avatar

Sounds good, but honestly I'd like it to be a semi-private rat-infested apt with RFK,jr in the bed beside him...same ailments.

Mary Darnell's avatar

Make sure the women taking care of him are hispanic and only speak Spanish.

Jerr's avatar

I sure hope that when his "time comes" he will be buried in a public cemetery, I already know of at least a few hundred tRump haters that will be lined up to file by and stop for a few moments just to "water the lilies" on his grave. I have a feeling that there will be a big washout of the soil.

Mary F Englebert's avatar

I intend to carry a big jar of "water" to Mitch McConnell's lilies too.

Natalie Parker's avatar

Yes, yes - I have been hoping for that myself! We can finally break out our bottles of Prosecco or champagne that are cooling in the fridge!

Frances López's avatar

I got tired of waiting & took my chilled bottle of prosecco to a pot luck. Time to buy another one.

Kay-El's avatar

I think that was just a long blink. 🙄

Erik Staub's avatar

“That was the longest blink, a prefect blink, a huge blink. No one has ever seen a blink like that before.”

BTAM Master's avatar

Soon, Trump will start using meth to upgrade his status to comatose.

Geoff Boyarsky's avatar

Maybe he’s pining for the fjords.

Leslie's avatar

👏🤣🤣😂🤣🤣

The Devil Kitty's avatar

Oh man, the regime WISHES they could blame it on that. Not a few New Yorkers are pretty mad he made the entire thing such a bear for the fans, then napped during the game.

Barbara Marling's avatar

His mere presence was a curse.

Jerr's avatar

As it has been on our country thru 5 and a half years.

Antoinette J. Doyle's avatar

Not wanting to disappoint his youngest son, Barron, DJT has indeed been tossing down volumes of Sollos (at a discounted rate, one would presume). Barron's intent for his new product is to enhance his father's sleep time quickly towards eternity so that he and his Mama can cash in The Pre-Nup Contract and disappear to a permanently undisclosed location.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Give that boy a hand! And I don't mean applause.

Katherine James's avatar

LOL. This is just PRICELESS!

Maxine Frank's avatar

We are actually safer with the Orange Menace unconscious. We just need permanence.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Oi, snappity-snap-snap!!

Janeo's avatar

I love how Andy made these two seemingly unrelated headlines spiral into a midair collision.

Joel Rachmiel's avatar

Barron markets new sleep aid as “Sleepy Don.”

Manufacturer of “Sleepless in New York” sues for trademark infringement.

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

If Barron is rebranding this as a sedative, he couldn't have gotten better advertising than Do-Nap Daddy slumbering peacefully.

For Pete's sake (not talking Kegsbreath here), FOR ALL OUR SAKES, somebody please forcibly retire the mad napper.

Barry Richman's avatar

Commenting on the Borowitz report of President Trump’s failure to support her son’s energy drink, First Lady Melania Trump said, “it be best for he stay up when drink anything what Barron give him. If not, could be snip snip on president sleepy face where he don’t like it.”

Al Keim's avatar

Is the drink named 'Dopeamine"

Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Hey, he ain't no dope o mine!!! I didn't help vote us into this mess! Blame this on that beastly MuskRAT.

Akaya's avatar

Andy you are on a roll! Brilliant.

Lynn Tuohy's avatar

I’m really curious about what flavor Barron might have concocted. That boy should try his hand at biochemistry.

OldLadybytheRiver's avatar

LOL - never change!

Carl Hulsey's avatar

He curses the Knicks winning streak and falls asleep. Spurs fans need to start a gofundme to get him a ticket to game 4

Barbara Marling's avatar

He had better not show up to another game. There is a limit to how much New Yorkers are going to take.