Bombshell: JD Vance was Last Person to see Epstein Alive
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A bombshell Dept. of Justice report leaked on Monday reveals that Vice President JD Vance was the last person to see Jeffrey Epstein alive.
According to the report, Vance visited Epstein in his prison cell on August 10, 2019, shortly before the disgraced financier was found dead.
The report indicates that Donald J. Trump thanked Vance for visiting Epstein and promised to reward him someday, comparing him to “the late, great Hannibal Lecter.”
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Thoughts and prayers that the next visit on JD's social calendar is Steven Miller.
I live for these. Only way to face the day. Better than coffee.