415 Comments
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Bob Weber's avatar

Thoughts and prayers that the next visit on JD's social calendar is Steven Miller.

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Harvey Perry's avatar

Remember what happened after JD visit the Pope.

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Carol's avatar

The Grim Reaper with eyeliner.

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Bob Weber's avatar

JD must hurry before Miller sheds his skin again.

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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Itsy Bitsy Spider's avatar

Please, be kind to snakeys, they aren’t vermin, they eat vermin and some of us have them as pets. To tell you the truth, they are very offended about the Stephen Miller reference😅!

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Nancy Morgan LeBar's avatar

OK, so what other really bad life form can we compare Miller to? I would vote for ticks or cockroaches which seem to have no use.

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Itsy Bitsy Spider's avatar

Ahhh, you got my vote with ticks! Perfect. They suck your blood and infect you. Sounds like Stephen!

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John Townsend's avatar

Tarantulas! Of course humans are the worst life forms!

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Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

I have an issue with comparing icky humans to cockroaches. I used to have a pet cockroach. I didn't know he was my pet. He hung out in my dinner plate cupboard and once a week I'd clean up the poops. Then one day I thought, why? So I tossed him out a second story window and saw that he survived but looked a bit confused. Two weeks later there he was again, in my cupboard. This cockroach, Fred, if you must know, had a better sense of direction than I did! And still do! Respect goes to cockroaches who also have superior family relations than the human species.

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John Townsend's avatar

Then they should slither en masse to the White House.....

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Itsy Bitsy Spider's avatar

Very good point!

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John Townsend's avatar

--or his soul along with it!

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Annette's avatar

Don't ever look him in the eye . . . and never, never shake his hand!

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Pam Boyce's avatar

I thought the same!

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Susan McIntosh's avatar

JD, please visit Mitch McConnell next!

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Mark Palmer's avatar

No need - he's already dead man walking.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Not soon enough!

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Penny Pawl's avatar

I'd rather see him visit Noem.

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John Townsend's avatar

--but J.D's eyes will probably be looking down and elsewhere.....

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Paula Titon's avatar

They are all so grotesque! You know that circus tru n p wants on the White House lawn next 4th of July? Require "all the president's men and women" participate... contest until the only one person is standing! A true tournament!

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Carol's avatar

Yes !!!

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T L Mills's avatar

Nah...I think Miller is acting as Trump's brain (like K. Rove was Bush's Brain...except Dubya always referred to Rove as "Turdblossom").

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Veronika Grimm-Matthews's avatar

I join! Oh do I love the thought! Miller is a disaster for the human race!

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MLK's avatar

Miller is an inhuman disgrace, so he and Justa Dick are probably best buddies.

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Jacquie Ostrom's avatar

Great name for jd

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

way way more than Rosie O'Donnell ever could be

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

On ANY of Just a Dick Vance's calendars,

OR anyone's calendar or whim.

I am more than distraught that this little Nazi shit is a fellow Jew.

He embodies the polar opposite of empathy.

It is probably a given that Miller will be a collaborated if/when the white-nationalists come after the Jews.

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David's avatar

You probably know this, but there were Jews who worked as sonderkommandos in the camps, helping unload gas chambers, etc. They received privileges. And Jewish "kapos" who did the bidding of the camp administration.

Miller would have been right up there! He is a disgrace, a chalerya!

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William R MEYER's avatar

There were black slaves that were used to whip fellow slaves in the old south. Clarence Thomas would have fit right in.

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Christine Iwasa (CA)'s avatar

Well, I believe the sonderkommandos were not in the same class as kapos who brutalized other prisoners. Sondorkommandos handled the deceased and some even attempted to blow up the crematoria.

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M Seits's avatar

YES!!

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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Pamela Fender's avatar

"Stephen", not with a "v".

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Bob Weber's avatar

Thank you.

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Martha's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Terri's avatar

I live for these. Only way to face the day. Better than coffee.

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Dr Michael J Wagner's avatar

Oh God, "No!" Coffee first. Dark French Roast. Then Borowitz! They're a pair.

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Claudia Allred's avatar

No! Coffee and HCR, then Borowitz.

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Judy Shaffer's avatar

HCR is third for me...need a laugh before I get serious!

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Jacquie Ostrom's avatar

Pardon my ignorance, what is HCR?

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Judy Shaffer's avatar

Heather Cox-Richardson.

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Jacquie Ostrom's avatar

I do read her too! Wonderful to have her!!

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Terri's avatar

Isn’t great that you can just say HCR and we all know who you mean ?

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Sandra Nicht's avatar

as long as one swallows the coffee before reading... (and I add a tbl of Crio Bru ground cacao to my freshly ground pourover coffee, plus heat up full fat milk for a luscious chocolatey taste...)

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JAMES LEE FLEMING's avatar

You obviously haven’t tried Elon’s Wake Up. Quick Trip (featuring expreso and “ Vitamin K”). Ohh-wee that sh_t’s strong!

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John Townsend's avatar

Elon's new cars will be fueled by it, I'm sure!

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Tim Savage's avatar

That sounds amazing! Do you ever make extra?

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Meryl Lynn Straid's avatar

I’m with you! French Press coffee, along with the Borowitz report! Starting my day off right! 👏👏😂

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Jocelyn B's avatar

Yup, exactly, only for me it's often coffee/Borowitz at the same time.

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JAMES LEE FLEMING's avatar

Thank you Doctor. Are you taking new patients?

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

NPR. (Just to get the news over with.) Coffee. TBR.

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Bud Priba's avatar

...coffefe

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Marmo's avatar

Ah, Bud Priba, the good old days when we could still laugh at the crazy things he was doing.

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Annette's avatar

tRump 1.0 was just the coming attractions for the dumpster fire we have now

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Dorothy G Ferguson's avatar

But the minions and voters ignored. Wanted a leader that was just like them. Aaugh!

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The BobCaster's avatar

Trumpster fire.

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Marmo's avatar

We were so innocent, Annette - we thought that was Bad. We had no idea how bad Bad could get. We're learning now.

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Annette's avatar

no one deserves the level of bad we're living with right now!

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John Townsend's avatar

--but, oh, the bad, the Trumpsters will get when Karma pops

a wheelie and makes a turn for the better for us, worse for them!

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John Townsend's avatar

The dumpster fire that is spreading down the alley....

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Larry Levy's avatar

hambirder

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The BobCaster's avatar

Well, I guess I'm just an old fashioned kind of guy, but I like to face the day with a nice line (or two) of premium Bolivian flake. Then maybe I'll chase that with a cup of Taster's Choice. I mean at that point who cares about the quality of the coffee?

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Michael Little's avatar

Better than coffee, certainly. Another way to compare Andy and coffee is to up the number of caffeine-loaded cups. I'll open the bidding at 4 cups. Do I hear 5?

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Robot Bender's avatar

I bid 5 mugs. Do I hear 6?

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The BobCaster's avatar

Well, I guess I'm just an old fashion kinda guy, but I like to start these days with a line (or two) of primo Bolivian flake. Then I might chase it with a cup of Taster's Choice. At that point, I don't much care about the quality of the coffee.

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Susan Mongar's avatar

Yes!!!

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Now it all makes sense.

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misia.d's avatar

Deep! It took me a moment!

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Robert Kelly's avatar

So, Epstein was found bored to death?

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BTAM Master's avatar

Best theory yet!

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Susan Landgraf's avatar

Funny

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John Townsend's avatar

He was alone in his cell and could not screw anyone else over!

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Mark Palmer's avatar

Like the old lady in "Airplane".

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Judith Green's avatar

lol

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Sean M Carlin's avatar

At least you can’t accuse Mascara Boy of discrimination. He kills pedophiles and Pope’s.

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Diane Brown's avatar

I cannot help but think that this post is absolutely fair and at least as true as “They’re eating the cats!” Share. Share. Share.

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David's avatar

Good point! If you haven't heard the song The Kiffness made out of Trump's allegation, look it up.

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Ace Circharo's avatar

Yes, Epstein killed himself....right. And I'm the Easter Bunny.

Meanwhile, no one is talking about the GENOCIDE that Israel is committing in Gaza. Killing civilians that show up for water.....water. And CHILDREN as well. NETANYAHU is a WAR CRIMINAL and not a word on any American "media". Shame. Shame.

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Bobbie75's avatar

Their routine answer “oops” we made a mistake.

Like the dude who shot at trump last year made one.

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Richard Letourneau's avatar

Yeah. The mistake was he missed

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Annette's avatar

the videos are heart wrenching; its beyond my understanding how one human being could do that to another

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Jacquie Ostrom's avatar

Anyone would be horrified if war criminal Netanyahu recommended them for the Nobel Peace Prize, but Trump gladly accepts it. Ughhh

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Jim McCarthy's avatar

Netanyahu recommended him as a reward for Trump's BOMBING of Iran (a/k/a indulging Netanyahu's fantasy). Hardly seems like the peaceful conduct one would expect of a Nobel PEACE prize nominee.

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John Townsend's avatar

Not noble or Nobel!

Rather, the IIP: Ignoble Ignoramus Prize.

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John Townsend's avatar

Yes, shame, shame on us for supporting Israel now and even in the past.

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Paul's avatar

good one Andy...

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Ellen Holmes's avatar

Promised to reward Vance or Epstein?

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Steve Newman's avatar

My guess is Eppy long ago gave Trump his underage runaway prize .

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

.... who reported having been assaulted with a dead weapon.

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Mark Lip's avatar

Both of course. The only surprise is that “t” probably kept his promise to Vance.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

I'm sure he worked it into his busy schedule between furniture shopping expeditions...

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Kathy J's avatar

Ta Da! Great comment, that reference never gets old.

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Catherine Alvarez's avatar

Ha ha . 🤣

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SCS - Michigan's avatar

Practice run for VP of Dirty Work? (See Zelenskyy ambush)

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Annette's avatar

I'm hoping if something happens to tRump, and Jay Deviance takes his place, there will be a coup within the administration, and an all out WWE match will break out with people trying to overtake Deviance. Whoever can lure him away with a heavily padded couch and eyeliner for life, will probably win.

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Janeo's avatar

Love your Deviance tag.

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Annette's avatar

I actually have Sharon McMahon to indirectly thank for this; I was watching the video of Andy and Sharon speaking about the Constitution awhile back and the captioning read "Jay Deviance" . . . so I'm sticking with it.

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John Townsend's avatar

Even Hulk Hogan could do a better job of running the country!

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MLK's avatar

I think Justa Dick and Epstein go back a very long way together, probably to when Justa Dick first started wearing eyeliner and was more svelte.

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John Townsend's avatar

--along with the fishnet stockings, stilettos, and tarty, jangly ankle bracelet!

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Bobbie75's avatar

I knew he was good for something. Assassin works. Looks the part.

Did Epstein have a couch for sale?

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Carol's avatar

Hope so, even the a Grim Reaper gets lonely sometimes.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

Who wants to buy a semen- and tear-stained couch?

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Bobbie75's avatar

My mental image, all these men going to Epstein for girls.

JD just wants to abuse a couch.

😱😱😱

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Elizabeth's avatar

Vance makes me want to die also…

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Carol's avatar

BAHAHAHA !

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John Townsend's avatar

Let's outlive all these bastards!

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Joel Walfish's avatar

Perfectly possible Vance was seen in town that day buying rope in a hardware store.

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John Townsend's avatar

--before that same hardware chain store was besieged by ICE agents!

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Susan Moss's avatar

The Grim Veeper

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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Mary-Jean Miner's avatar

Lesson learned: coffee first, then Borowitz. Far better way to start the day…

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Bobbie75's avatar

At least no coffee in mouth while reading.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

But it's more fun that way. (not really)

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Marian Lang's avatar

That actually happened to me.

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Annette's avatar

excellent advice to avoid caffeine spew

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

I thought that you're a champ at it. Olympic quality.

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Annette's avatar

I don't like to brag . . . :-S

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Janeo's avatar

So I wonder what trump will do to humiliate the American people during the Rutto photo op? Congratulate him on his excellent English or get JD to join him in a temper tantrum ala Zelensky ambush? I doubt the head of NATO will put up with the BS.

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Joseph M Becker's avatar

Trump FINALLY understands that Putin has been gaming him?

Post meeting with Mr. NATO, European countries will provide weapons to Ukraine.

BUT, the weapons will have been purchased from American companies.

Rifles have recoil; American suppliers won't recoil from greasing Trump's palm

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John Townsend's avatar

--or anyone else's!

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