If ‘Arms’ is taken to mean the arms that were around during the time the Constitution was written, I wouldn’t care how many people had muskets or how many they had 🤨
Seems to me that those on the courts who declare themselves originalists should consider that:
“Originalism is a theory of interpreting legal texts holding that a text in law, especially the U.S. Constitution, should be interpreted as it was understood at the time of its adoption.”
Exactly! It was written 250 years ago. It was also before we had a full-time military or police departments ("well-regulated militia") which rendered the Second Amendment obsolete once those things were established in the early years of the U.S.
The last factor has been missing a lonnng time! The corruption needs that bleach Fearless Leader suggested injecting in his butt with his tiny little untanned hands…😏
"Beginning now, I am selling TRUMP ROCKS so none of you will float off into space (and away from your glorious new GAWD - ME!!!!!!! Don't tell the LIBS...unless they have money!)
"Many TRUMP ROCKS will be offered, but I suggest the GOLD (colored) ONES!"
You put me in mind to try to think up a few other categories/price breaks of Trump Rocks (and to battle some personal demons.) You're very welcome to add on! (Even to pile on!)
GOPWIP - new web-sight should be ready in TOO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
********************************
Talc - $5 "When you care enough to hardly mind at all about giving Trump the last bill in yer wallet."
Gravel - $20 "Worshipful AND multi-purpose! Effective as a Lib-Blinding tool! And bought in quanTITy (LOLOLOL) can effective repave your driveway the whole length of yor trailer!"
Coprolite - $1,000 "When words and money don't say quite how far you're willing go to debase yourself completely for DONAKD TRUMP..."
Mt. TrumpMore Rock - $1,000,000 "A stone chiseled from the very face of Mt. TrumpMore, already under construction!! (ssshh! It's a SEKRET, but we've been doing a GRRREAT DEAL of chiseling lately, and TRUMP wanted YOU to be the first to Find Out!!!!!)
(Sorry, Amy. I'm really exhausted.... But I would love yor input!)
omg....I loved when you added the coprolite! My husband wears a ring with a coprolite stone. It's quite an attention getter and I am sure has led more than one person to google coprolite. lol
tRump Rocks should be delivered directly to tRump, who loves to defy all laws he doesn't believe in. He can put them in his pocket and be hoisted to the top of the Statue of Liberty...and defy the law of gravity.
YES! Are the Pay-Per-View rights still available!?!? Something like; Diaper Dooper Dumpster Donnie Trump Drumpfs Out
Or, perhaps lots of people, mostly women, can stand around him in a circle and gently loft tRUMP ROCKS at tRump individually, and at high velocity? (QUESTION: Is depleted uranium considered a rock?)
WOW! tRump'll LUV that this is just so, so...BIBLE-ICAL!
The Epstein list is now lost in a government warehouse along with The Ark of the Covenant, Donald Trump’s income tax filings and his college transcripts.
Hey-maybe there never WAS a "list" - maybe J.Epstein was so focused on his 3 tugs/day he wasn't even worrying about payoffs and influence peddling. He just needed his three times per day fix-it was a full time job. Everything else was others' speculation.
Dear AB, thanks for the all things besides people that disappear!! 😂😂I loved waking up to Jesse.. long may he wave! He cancels out the photo of Dumb Blondi. (I mean no disrespect to blondes…)😏
--but if only they could use their sharp horns against certain fake blondes, people in power with orange hair, kowtowing congressional leaders with glasses........
I am really stumped this morning. I’m not completely sure I exist ( I.e. I can’t think tbink, therefore not sure I am). But, lemme think about it. Please ❤️
“ The unreal has no being. The real never ceases to be. The truth about them both has been percieved by the seers of ultimate reality”—- from_______) Fill in the blank for a chance to win a special surprise 😎
First off, Pam Bondi's forehead bares a striking resemblance to Boris Karloff's. Secondly, only Frederico Fellini could be writing this "reality show as the White House". The exception being that if Fellini were writing and directing everyone would be laughing.
Dump still doesn’t get that it’s not possible to rename a body of water here or any other country. Just ask President Sheinbaum herself. He doesn’t even know her name, never mind her prominence. The Gulf of Mexico was named 100’s of years ago but he never learned a thing in 4th grade!
I am puzzled by this discussion... years ago James Patterson wrote a book, I think the title was Dirty Filthy Rich, which was all about Epstein, his girl friend, and the parties attended by Trump,
Alan Dershowitz, Bill Clinton, Prince Andrew, and lots of other prominent folks... why is this such a secret now, like it doesn't exist.... if Patterson wrote about it, does it exist? If he found it,it must exist.
The people in the book were identified as being Epstein clients (in court?). But the list is supposedly a lot longer and shows people heretofore unmentioned.
She said the videos couldn’t be released because they were child porn (of course, the girls were all minors). She failed to mention who starred in them.
Andy’s book has affirmed that there’s never been a “qualified” candidate or VP hopeful the last several decades or so it seems! The light has shone!! Thanks, again, Mr. Borowitz!!
What else doesn't exist?
Intelligence.
Compassion.
The Rule of Law.
International order.
Freedom of the Press.
Separation of Church and State.
Due Process.
Fourth Amendment
14th Amendment
Sanity in the White House and Republican Party
A federal government free of corruption.
You and us followers know this list very well!
a functioning brain in all those in the Trump administration
I'm afraid that a functioning brain would make them worse!
and that's what's terrifying about opportunist Vance!
That’s a horrifying thought!!
--and lack of any functioning heart of compassion.
💕💕 John. TY.
Thank you Octavia!
A functional brain in this “administration” would spontaneously combust and disappear itself. Jmo!😏
The 25th?
Yes, definitely the 25th. Pretty much the entire Bill of Rights, except the 2nd Amendment, of course.
The Second Amendment isn't so bad as long as you follow ALL of it, not just the parts the rabid right follows.
If ‘Arms’ is taken to mean the arms that were around during the time the Constitution was written, I wouldn’t care how many people had muskets or how many they had 🤨
Seems to me that those on the courts who declare themselves originalists should consider that:
“Originalism is a theory of interpreting legal texts holding that a text in law, especially the U.S. Constitution, should be interpreted as it was understood at the time of its adoption.”
https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/originalism#:~:text=Originalism%20is%20a%20theory%20of,the%20time%20of%20its%20adoption.
Exactly! It was written 250 years ago. It was also before we had a full-time military or police departments ("well-regulated militia") which rendered the Second Amendment obsolete once those things were established in the early years of the U.S.
Thank you, Erik.
Yep, that good ole 2nd amendment will be the only one left standing 🙁
And half of November voters decided to trade all that for someone who would stick it to the Libs ☹️
May karma stick them right back!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏽👏🏽👏🏿👏🏾
Nope. The election was rigged by Musk
Do we really want to go 'there'? I was hoping just MAGAs were election deniers 🤞
They all get a D- on this list.
More like an F-,
moral compass
and
Moral License
The last factor has been missing a lonnng time! The corruption needs that bleach Fearless Leader suggested injecting in his butt with his tiny little untanned hands…😏
💯 Bravo sou, Italien, genetically 🇬🇷🇬🇷.
Thanks, D Odonnell!! We Greco Roman’s are ass kicking! 🥳
Climate change
You did a great job with your list, Erik!
I think you left out a few things Lol.
--only too well!
Democracy
Conscience
Gravity!
"Gravity is a Ho-AX!"
"Beginning now, I am selling TRUMP ROCKS so none of you will float off into space (and away from your glorious new GAWD - ME!!!!!!! Don't tell the LIBS...unless they have money!)
"Many TRUMP ROCKS will be offered, but I suggest the GOLD (colored) ONES!"
Wait for it...
Don’t you mean the Gilt colored ones (perhaps you mean the ‘guilt’ laden ones),right, ones that match the Oval Office decor that’s in dreadful
taste?
I never thought I'd see the day that The White House would resemble a 1970s stereotypical pimp's residence.
"Guilt" laden - NICE, Amy!
You put me in mind to try to think up a few other categories/price breaks of Trump Rocks (and to battle some personal demons.) You're very welcome to add on! (Even to pile on!)
---------------------------------------------------
TRUMP WEBSITE AD
GOPWIP - new web-sight should be ready in TOO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
********************************
Talc - $5 "When you care enough to hardly mind at all about giving Trump the last bill in yer wallet."
Gravel - $20 "Worshipful AND multi-purpose! Effective as a Lib-Blinding tool! And bought in quanTITy (LOLOLOL) can effective repave your driveway the whole length of yor trailer!"
Coprolite - $1,000 "When words and money don't say quite how far you're willing go to debase yourself completely for DONAKD TRUMP..."
Mt. TrumpMore Rock - $1,000,000 "A stone chiseled from the very face of Mt. TrumpMore, already under construction!! (ssshh! It's a SEKRET, but we've been doing a GRRREAT DEAL of chiseling lately, and TRUMP wanted YOU to be the first to Find Out!!!!!)
(Sorry, Amy. I'm really exhausted.... But I would love yor input!)
omg....I loved when you added the coprolite! My husband wears a ring with a coprolite stone. It's quite an attention getter and I am sure has led more than one person to google coprolite. lol
Carole,
I aim to please, even when I don't know I'm aiming at all!
Especially then!
That is SO cool, Carole Thank you for sharing.
(I fully support wearing coprolite ironically!)
It's so fitting for how we feel about this administration.
Don't forget the bright red hat with rocks sewn into the lining. If you lack
rocks in your head, this will help with that deficiency!
And little bells, right?
They GOTTA get a photo of that for the website!
Absolutely!!
tRump Rocks should be delivered directly to tRump, who loves to defy all laws he doesn't believe in. He can put them in his pocket and be hoisted to the top of the Statue of Liberty...and defy the law of gravity.
Olivia,
YES! Are the Pay-Per-View rights still available!?!? Something like; Diaper Dooper Dumpster Donnie Trump Drumpfs Out
Or, perhaps lots of people, mostly women, can stand around him in a circle and gently loft tRUMP ROCKS at tRump individually, and at high velocity? (QUESTION: Is depleted uranium considered a rock?)
WOW! tRump'll LUV that this is just so, so...BIBLE-ICAL!
Morality. Courage. Truth.
Basic decency.
--and basic sense!
Trade deals.
Climate change.
Thom Tillis.
A clue.
The US Constitution and Science.
At the very least recognition of ages old, original Constitution of The United States, for fucking God’s sake!
Pam Bondi's honesty.
--and natural hair color!
What the felon pretends doesn’t exist
A list of the women the felon paid off and their nondisclosures
Genocide in Gaza
Migrants who aren’t criminals
His sons who are idiots
Melania’s prenup which only protects him if she initiates divorce
What really doesn’t exist
Trump’s chance at a Nobel Peace Prize
Caring and humanity by our leaders
Respect for the felon (who asked the leader of Liberia where he learned English)
Sex with Melania
Trump’ business acumen.
Well, that never existed in the first place!
In today's autocracy, humor doesn't exist -- especially political satire 🥺
It totally exists here on The Borowitz Report, though, Alan.
Fortunately Renee, it exists in Andy's TBR community-- and we're all very thankful!
In the WH and on Capitol Hill -- not so much.
Thanks, Andy! It certainly does. You wouldn’t miss it!
The Trump Qatari 747 bound for the presidential library was lost in the Bermuda Triangle
I always knew The Bermuda Triangle existed for a reason!
--that is if the Bermuda Triangle doesn't spit him right back out!
<golf clap>
--with Trump as a passenger? If only......
lol 😺
Decency and dignity
Though it may still exist, the Resolute Desk is being renamed the Destitute Desk. Because it represents the "We People".
However, Trump has reaffirmed his existence:
"I stink, therefore I am!" translated from the original, "Oleo, ergo sum!"
The Epstein list is now lost in a government warehouse along with The Ark of the Covenant, Donald Trump’s income tax filings and his college transcripts.
I keep thinking one of the DOGE bros has a copy!
don't you wonder what all the DOGE crew is keeping for themselves, to resell or release at a later date . . .?
I really don't want to wonder. Anxiety high enough!
I bet they have secret side agreements with Elon
I think that’s also where they keep his medical records, with a special lockbox for his “cognitive tests.”
You mean the test of "person, woman, man, camera, tv"?
and his bone spurs🤣
and his concept of a health care plan, scribbled on a napkin with a sharpie
Hey-maybe there never WAS a "list" - maybe J.Epstein was so focused on his 3 tugs/day he wasn't even worrying about payoffs and influence peddling. He just needed his three times per day fix-it was a full time job. Everything else was others' speculation.
Very good.
Hmm, where have we seen this before? “Hump? What hump?”😏
Oh yes, Marty Feldman! Igor! "It's Eye-gor."
Yeah, “I can fix that hump…” lol..🥳😏
--or in a back bathroom at Mar-a-Lago!
Dear AB, thanks for the all things besides people that disappear!! 😂😂I loved waking up to Jesse.. long may he wave! He cancels out the photo of Dumb Blondi. (I mean no disrespect to blondes…)😏
Yeah, and the holy grail. Was it..gold?😏
Leave unicorns out of this. They never hurt anyone.
🦄
--but if only they could use their sharp horns against certain fake blondes, people in power with orange hair, kowtowing congressional leaders with glasses........
That’s a great visual, John - one of these asshats stuck on a unicorn horn!! Hehehe! Worthy of a haiku!!😂😏
Lovely comment :-) !!
Currently? Lberty and justice for all.
Uh...
That's only ever had truth in America for white males. And that's still true.
Tragically.
I know, I know...clean coal!
Clean coal is just like stinkless shit.
Trump thinks he has that, too
Honor, Courage, Empathy, and Grammar.
Critical Thinking Skills, too.
I am really stumped this morning. I’m not completely sure I exist ( I.e. I can’t think tbink, therefore not sure I am). But, lemme think about it. Please ❤️
Given that premise, most of the current administration, who don’t bother to think, don’t exist.
Don't we all wish!?!?
When you have studied near and far
To find what really is and are
If you find you don't exist
Imagine you're a Solipsist.
Kate Delano- Condax Decker, Rhyme or Reason
Well-done, dear Kate.
“ The unreal has no being. The real never ceases to be. The truth about them both has been percieved by the seers of ultimate reality”—- from_______) Fill in the blank for a chance to win a special surprise 😎
What do you expect when the POTUS is a 79 year old mob boss who wipes his face with his overused Depends?
Depends are the new Trojans
Oh man, it is TOO EARLY for this discussion.
I do NOT want to be in THAT horse...
Senior condoms.
Oh...
THOSE Trojans.
HAHAHAHAHA
well said, and ewwww
Double and triple Ewwwww!
My Eyes!!!! That's an image I didn't need to have
Look at recent pics. His face schmear is the color of baby poop.
News from Andy and a perfect song from Jesse. I'm ready for the world. Bring it on!!!
First off, Pam Bondi's forehead bares a striking resemblance to Boris Karloff's. Secondly, only Frederico Fellini could be writing this "reality show as the White House". The exception being that if Fellini were writing and directing everyone would be laughing.
I love it!!! Fellini would have a ball with this bunch. But, alas, it isn’t a dream…😒
The Gulf of America
Dump still doesn’t get that it’s not possible to rename a body of water here or any other country. Just ask President Sheinbaum herself. He doesn’t even know her name, never mind her prominence. The Gulf of Mexico was named 100’s of years ago but he never learned a thing in 4th grade!
The Gulp of America.
💯
A Nobel Peace Prize for 47
As I also posted elsewhere, if Trump truly thinks a panel of Norwegians is going to give him the Nobel peace price, he'd best lay off Greenland.
Proof of his insanity. The idiot doesnt even know where Sweden is.
tRump's golf victories as well . . . all those things important to him: respect from the world for his intelligence and diplomacy and great golf game.
A Kick-in-the-Pants prize for Trump and company!
MAGA making America great again
I am puzzled by this discussion... years ago James Patterson wrote a book, I think the title was Dirty Filthy Rich, which was all about Epstein, his girl friend, and the parties attended by Trump,
Alan Dershowitz, Bill Clinton, Prince Andrew, and lots of other prominent folks... why is this such a secret now, like it doesn't exist.... if Patterson wrote about it, does it exist? If he found it,it must exist.
It is probably on a list of books being banned.
You have a good memory. I just checked…..the title is Filthy Rich and is still available. No I didn’t buy a copy
Just got it from local library
Wow - I've never been tempted to read a James Patterson book, but that is about to change. Thanks.
The people in the book were identified as being Epstein clients (in court?). But the list is supposedly a lot longer and shows people heretofore unmentioned.
I think that’s what it’s all about.
I’m guessing but Prince Andrew was likely wrapped by The Family in thick gauze until the shocking news settled down and he was allowed a cuppa tea.
A very stable genius in the Oval Office is something else that doesn’t exist!
The Epstein list does exist. Note that Pam Blondi said there is no “client list.” Clients pay for services, this sick activity wasn’t a business.
It was a list of blackmail accounts.
She said the videos couldn’t be released because they were child porn (of course, the girls were all minors). She failed to mention who starred in them.
I'd settle for a very stable anything.
Even a stable stable!
Horses can be very relaxing...
Said with equinimity (sp).
"Equinity(sp.) and justice for all!"
You spelled it correctly for the context. Actual dictionary spelling (yes I looked it up), when not dealing with horses, is equanimity.
Please God and Goddesses help us to endure this circus!!
Yes!! Call in the pagans!! I agree completely! There are things that cannot be explained…😏
How you do this every damn day to get me to smile... thank you
Andy’s book has affirmed that there’s never been a “qualified” candidate or VP hopeful the last several decades or so it seems! The light has shone!! Thanks, again, Mr. Borowitz!!