Bondi Calls Epstein List as Non-existent as Trump’s Healthcare Plan
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In her most vehement denial to date, Attorney General Pam Bondi told reporters on Thursday that the so-called Epstein List is “as non-existent as President Trump’s healthcare plan.”
“The Epstein List is not even a concept of a list,” she added.
“Let’s say you had three things that don’t exist—the Epstein List, President Trump’s healthcare plan, and a unicorn—and you had to rank them from most existent to least existent,” she said. “It would go, unicorn, healthcare plan, Epstein List.”
Asked why she had earlier asserted that the Epstein List was on her desk, she responded, “What is this ‘desk’ you speak of?”
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What else doesn't exist?
The Epstein list is now lost in a government warehouse along with The Ark of the Covenant, Donald Trump’s income tax filings and his college transcripts.