547 Comments
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Andy Borowitz's avatar

THANKS, CANADA! We look forward to becoming your eleventh province.

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Martha's avatar

Yes, please! Can we file adoption papers now, asking Canada to take us on?

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Maureen Bodie's avatar

Who is "we"? There are a few states down there who we would just as soon leave behind.

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Clym Yeobright's avatar

Shhh! If we tip-toe, we can be gone before they notice

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John Townsend's avatar

Before Hegseth even gets a clue or a message on Signal!

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Susan Barnes's avatar

Well, there’s that. I’m in Tennessee. If we’re going to be left behind, give us a chance to move.

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SCS - Michigan's avatar

We have room in Michigan. Windsor is just over the bridge!!

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Susan Stone's avatar

I'm in far west Texas, and at this point I might be happier as part of Mexico - it's closer and I wouldn't have to move. Not that there is anything wrong with Canada.

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Bobbie75's avatar

IMHO Mexican food is the best!

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Kevin Robbins's avatar

Aside from poutine you’re probably right.

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John Townsend's avatar

Except is is cold!

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Della Mae Johnston's avatar

Ever been to southern BC? Many American states are far, far colder.

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John Townsend's avatar

Call Bekins right now!

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Susan Stone's avatar

Is Bekins still around? I haven't heard or thought of them in decades.

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flo chapgier's avatar

we have room in California too !!!

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Janeo's avatar

I read yesterday on a Canadian substack that Canada has imposed heavier tariffs on Red states than on the already heavy tariffs for Blue states. LMAO at my Canadian Cousins! Well done!

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Robert E.'s avatar

Dumpty isn't the only one doing a tariffic job...Bigly!

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Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

A book has already been written about the western states seceding called Ecotopia--in 1970! Fiction, of course. My fantasy is for the Northeastern states and the Western states (including Alaska, which I heard was purple as the people there need a clean environment for the salmon) join Canada so that on the map she looks like a giant molar.

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

Just imagine British Columbia marrying Washington, Oregon, California, and Las Vegas: (in no particular order) scenery, weed, wine, craft beer, hi-tech, entertainment, and produce. The People's Republic of the West would boast at least the third biggest GDP in the world, maybe the second, enough to fund great public education and health care, and affordable housing.

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Della Mae Johnston's avatar

Canada already funds pretty great public education, we already have health care and affordable housing to a fair extent plus 'scenery, weed, wine, craft beer and...believe it or not we even know how to use computers!

Don't really see any great advantages to Canada in this scenario.

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

We need your smarts and experience. Am not being sarcastic, either, having learned a few things from Canadian neighbors. (And Margaret Atwood, for whom our daughter is named.) Anyway, I so envy any democratic nation who didn't elect a fuckwit like Donald.

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D ODonnell's avatar

You seem to have neglected one of the Bluest states in the West: Colorado. This Republic would benefit as well from some great skiing, culture and art in New Mexico and Denver, Aspen, Vail. And no flooding.

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Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

Ahhh. A girl can dream....

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Bobbie75's avatar

Canada will have to fight off her next nearest neighbor … Putin says since the Felon is willing to give him Crimea, he is going to annex Alaska and all of its resources.

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Robert E.'s avatar

They'll build the Sarah Palin

Bridge to Nowhere ll across the Bering Straight.

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John Townsend's avatar

Or to Santa's Village!

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Della Mae Johnston's avatar

Perhaps Alaska should start thinking right now about succeeding from the US and becoming part of Canada...

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Marcia Z Bookstein's avatar

Yikes! But Putin seems mostly interested in moving West, not East. (I know. It's weird thinking of our West being Russia's East. Maybe just to me, though.)

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John Townsend's avatar

So can a boy!

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Melissa Redman's avatar

Yeah I want to find out which ones so I can move there too.

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Bluffer's avatar

But the weather in Florida is really nice in the winter (at least for the next few years 🤞) And there are a lot of really nice people who would never shoot a puppy.

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John Townsend's avatar

,but would shoot at gays and drag queens.

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D ODonnell's avatar

No, no more Florida. And you ought to know why.

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John Townsend's avatar

May be glacial warming will drown Florida, make islands of the rest down south.

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Martha's avatar

Okay…I am laughing! Evil, I know…

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C. Killion's avatar

List of “don’t want you’s”: South Carolina, Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Missouri.

Possibilities: Georgia, West Virginia, Kansas, Virginia.

Texas and Florida: toxic, maybe Mexico would

Like them?

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John Townsend's avatar

Oh, poor Mexico! What has it done to deserve them?

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Susan Stone's avatar

I live in Texas (far west, in the bastard child city of Texas), and we were once part of Mexico before we stole the land. That said, Mexico definitely does not deserve our governor, AG, and a lot of our legislators - both state and federal. Maybe Mexico's current president would get rid of them?

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D ODonnell's avatar

West Virginia, definitely. Kansas wobbles & has approached Purple Status from time to time.

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Lynn Tuohy's avatar

OMG. I have spent several months trying to accumulate the papers needed for my family members to apply for Irish citizenship!

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Maureen Bodie's avatar

I was looking at doing that last week. Glad I now don't have to keep going with the process. It has been a stressful few months here in Canada.

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

Good luck. I’ve read that there’s been a huge backlog. Brexit didn’t help since many Brits wanted the same

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Tom Melody's avatar

Same here. Waiting on documents from the NYC Department of Health. It’s taking forever.

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Della Mae Johnston's avatar

Considering that Musk may have had all those documents destroyed you may really be waiting forever...

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Lynn Tuohy's avatar

Their machine that embosses their label on the documents to certify them was broken. They claimed they didn’t know when it could be fixed. Then it was. They are back in business now.

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Tom Melody's avatar

Thank you! I called them a few weeks back and they said the end of April (I mailed out the application the second week of February). Guess it’l be a few months before they catch up.

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Lynn Tuohy's avatar

My sister found hers online before she got the actual document.

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

My sweet girl in S.E. England has actually offered her father and me refuge, in case the FBI come calling about all the leftie orgs we support.

(Unfortunately, she moved to the most boring town in Britain; even the pubs are dull.)

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John Townsend's avatar

Better dull than jailed.

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Maureen Bodie's avatar

You'll liven it up!

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Celia Smith's avatar

M.E., don't look a gift horse in the mouth!

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Maureen Bodie's avatar

More like hurricanes, tropical storms and storm surges will make the whole place uninsurable first, especially now if there are fewer, reliable storm warnings available.

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Alan's avatar
1dEdited

Martha -- If we file the papers like the adoption of a rescue dog, Canada may agree but it would enrage our Secretary of Homeland Security.

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Sandy Naughton's avatar

And she’s armed!

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Cindy La Ferle's avatar

....And fortified with Botox!

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

scary combo

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steve's avatar

add to that......mental defective.

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SyBen's avatar

I don't think she's done either. Maybe a bit more work on the cheeks and lips is next.

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D ODonnell's avatar

Meow!

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Barry Blue's avatar

Wasn’t her 45 in the purse that was stolen (or stollen, if you’re The Yam)?

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

seems like she had planned a getaway, or maybe an overnight, like a "shack pack"

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Susan Stone's avatar

Stollen, if I recall correctly, is a German sweet bread, or similar. I didn't think the yam was that cultured.

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Barry Blue's avatar

That’s how he misspelled it once. I doubt he knows what it is

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John Townsend's avatar

Stollen is a long baked loaf with citron and other fruits in it.

Eaten at Christmastime, at lease at our house when I was young.

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Stan Duffner's avatar

We need to just keep stealing her purse. That will keep her occupied and away from government work.

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Karen OConnor's avatar

Who carries around $3000 cash ? Asking for a friend.

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Stan Duffner's avatar

Drug buyers or dealers

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Della Mae Johnston's avatar

That one definitely looks like a combination of both. Wouldn't it be great payback if a drug sniffer dog took her down?

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MARGARET KENDALL's avatar

She was going to buy Easter dinners in the restaurant for her extended family. I don't know how they ended up paying, because her card was in the purse too. But $3000 -- for even a large number? And she had a credit card too...Well, her way wasn't my way, I guess. Who's to say?

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Robin D's avatar

Out of everything in her bag that she had, I didn't even blink that she had $3K in cash, but something about the entire incident does not compute to me.

I was more curious as to why she would walk around with blank checks. Who walks around with blank checks? Here in NYC, we have things stolen out of the mailboxes since covid, and the head of our police precinct wrote an article how to not even write a check anymore if you can help it, or if you do, to use a certain gel pen so the thieves can't "wash" the checks and change the amount or who it's written to. If I do have to send a check I mail it from the post office and get tracking and even at the post office people have reported checks they mailed stolen from there.

She had absolutely everything in her bag to have her identity stolen. Passport, drivers license, credit cards, medication, blank checks and cash. And out of everyone there in that restaurant, her grandchildren and family, secret service, security, etc. the thief decides it is HER bag that he wants (which is by her feet...how did he even see it) , is wearing a mask and a cap, it's hers he decides to latch onto the handle and drag the bag out? He was sitting at a table with a mask and a cap at a restaurant ? And of course he was caught in a day or two. A Chilean National and they have a picture of him with the bag, sitting at a table. And he got $3K in cash but used her credit card to buy food and drinks? And of course, he's here illegally...so say hello to El Salvador

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PTW's avatar

Kristi "claimed" she needed the cash to buy brunch for her family at Easter. That's a shitload of mimosas, omelets, and pancakes. (Big eaters?)

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

Folks with bad credit?

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John Townsend's avatar

Let's ask someone on Signal.

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John Townsend's avatar

Now if someone were only to steal her guns.....

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Stan, Away? This was her way of interviewing for nominees.

These skills are needed in this admin. Merit based.

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Annette's avatar

that alone is reason to do the deed! Kristi Gnome unhinged!!

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Lynn Foord's avatar

Does this mean she’s going to take us to the gravel pit and….😳

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John Townsend's avatar

So long as she blows her stack in El Salvador!

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M.E. Lawrence's avatar

No, no, she'll shoot my kitty!

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Kevin Robbins's avatar

If they don’t want the whole country, and I could certainly understand that, could they just take northern NY? Please 🙏

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Michael Little's avatar

Breaking news: Trump yesterday offered Canada a deal. Canada would agree to become the 51st state, and in exchange Trump would give the Statue of Liberty to Canada. The art of the deal! Trump even promised to give Lady Liberty a hockey stick. That sound you hear from the north is 40,126,723 Canadians laughing at Trump.

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John Townsend's avatar

They already laughing over Molson's or Kokanee in real time without any satire involved.

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Michael Little's avatar

Breaking news: Trump yesterday offered Canada a deal. Canada would agree to become the 51st state, and in exchange Trump would give the Statue of Liberty to Canada. The art of the deal! Trump even promised to give Lady Liberty a hockey stick. That sound you hear from the north is 40,126,723 Canadians laughing at Trump.

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B Rigley's avatar

What do you think of The Gulf of Canada?

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Alan's avatar

Or "Golf at the Gulf in Guelph"?

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Andy Weitz's avatar

Played hockey in Guelph in the mid 70s. Fun beyond belief! I love our Northern Friends and Neighbors!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

groaner, Alan. Brilliant, but a groaner.

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Alan's avatar
17hEdited

Suzanne -- I love alliteration (and puns) and, in the spirit of The Bard, will take "groaner" as a compliment 😉.

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John Townsend's avatar

"Bigly, Best Golf at the Greatest Gulf in Guelph ?"

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Bobbie75's avatar

Or Lake Canada instead of Michigan?

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Martha's avatar

Although Gov Pritzker - being totally facetious - suggested re-naming it “Lake Illinois.”

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Michael L Flynn's avatar

It would have to be one of the other Great Lakes. Lake Michigan is the only one that is entirely in the US.

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John Townsend's avatar

"Lake Toronto"?

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John Townsend's avatar

OOPS! Wrong lake! Wrong side!

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Lynn Tuohy's avatar

It might really be more of the Canadian Sea.

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Frau Katze's avatar

lol 😺😺😺

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

It's lovely at this time of year.

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Robin D's avatar
1dEdited

My sister took me to Montreal for my 50th birthday which is in spring.. Like going to Paris in under 2 hours. Loved it. I just got my enhanced my drivers license (no passport needed for Canada). . Do you think they'll still let me in if I promise to be nice🙏

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Gabriele C Overweg's avatar

Well, they may let you in, but will the USA let you cross the border coming back or will you end up somewhere even more scary.

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Cindy La Ferle's avatar

Makes you wonder, regarding coming back to the U.S. Good point!

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Barry Blue's avatar

“Oh. I can’t come back?” 😂😆🤣

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Annette's avatar

that was my thought too . . . oh well, guess I'll just stay here in Canada! lol

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Robin D's avatar

Where are they going send me? I just got my Real ID/ enhanced Driver’s License where I had to give them everything but a DNA sample. I’m almost 69. I have proven where I was born, where I live, my name, rank and serial#. Out of all the things I fear, making it back from Canada with a bag of bagels is on the bottom of my list. I’m more afraid getting on a NYC subway 🚋

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Ann Rock's avatar

Sorry Robin but if you’re in NYC why would you buy bagels in Canada? NYC is world renowned for its bagels! 😆

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Robin, a spring birthday? That means that another has very recently been or will come up soon, eh (as they say in Canada)? A secret -- today is mine. As to your being permitted to enter Canada, no doubt you'll be welcomed with hugs and kisses and, if you're just a little naughty, poutine will be forced on you. Ignore that remark, as I've never eaten poutine and might even think it divine.

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Robin D's avatar

Thank you sweetie! Many, many more to you. Happy Birthday 🎂🎊🎉🎁 Mine is next month. I don’t know what poutine is and I don’t think I’m going to look, but Montreal has the best bagels in the world. They are not flying saucers like we have here, and traditionally used to be just plain and sesame. Now they do have different flavors, but the originals were the best. 🥯

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Manhattan has a couple of Montreal-style bagel shops called Black Seed (I guess for the poppy seed). The bagels are good and I'm told that the difference is that they are more chewy than NY bagels, but I guess that my palate isn't sensitive enough to feel the difference. I appreciate their civilized size. Have you noticed that, for many years, most bagels and muffins have gotten quite larger? Each change seems to come with news reports about weight control and nutrition -- such as, it's always the starchy, simple carb items that get larger. I remember a Mary Tyler Moore episode when Rhoda was in Mary's apartment and about to eat a pastry or some such. She stopped, looked at it and announced something like this: "I don't know why I bother putting this in my mouth. I should just apply it directly to my hips."

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Susan Stone's avatar

Happy Birthday, L.R. Mine is Sunday. Please don't force me to eat poutine. I'm looking forward to a ribeye steak for my birthday dinner.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Thank you, too, Susan, and the same for Sunday. May that ribeye steak look right at you and say "Here's looking at you, kid."

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Robin D's avatar

Happy Birthday Susan Stone. Yum...always love a good steak. Enjoy. Many more 🍾🎂

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Celia Smith's avatar

Happy Birthday, L.R.!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Many thanks, my friend. It's going well so far, here with all of you. Tonight may be different -- something seems off and the tickets may be not waiting at the box office. If it does fall through, my friend and I will improvise something fun and easy.

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Annette's avatar

Happy Birthday, L.R. And try the poutine, it is divine! Follow it up with an Aero bar, the best chocolate bar ever!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Thanks, Annette. I'd be willing to try it, but it's always looked and sounded a little gloppy for my tastes. No problem with trying an Aero bar. Never heard of the brand, but how bad can it be?

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Janeo's avatar

Hate to tell you, folks, but Canada doesn't want us. I have a friend who married a Canadian before Covid and couldn't become a resident for 18 months, even after marrying a Canukian.. When the border shut down for COVID they met at the Double Ditch Road weekly, she on the US side, he on the Canadian side. They each brough a pizza and a six pack and ate and drank with the ditch, which is constructed on the 49th Parallel, between them and shouted words of love across the International Border. So romantic!!

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John Townsend's avatar

That is love!

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Robin D's avatar

Great story for the kids/grandkids LOL.

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

Montreal is wonderful, but so is Quebec City, and Fairfax, NS-beautiful wide open spaces as well.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Two friends, Americans, have spent most of their time living in Montreal since trump's first election, when many Americans were considering or fantasizing about leaving the country. One went through what sounded like quite a lengthy citizenship process and completed it a year or so ago. The other is in process. They still have their place in NY, but are seriously thinking about giving it up and making Montreal real home (they already feel quite at home, but one doesn't speak French, so has a little difficulty.

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Robin D's avatar

I have a very dear friend and her husband who were born in the US, have lived in Toronto for 25 years or more, and even before Trump, finally gave up their dual citizenship. It was becoming very problematic having to pay taxes in two countries and some other issues which I forget, and finally decided they had no desire to come back here to live. They have not regretted it.

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Robin D's avatar

Yes, I am dying to go to Quebec City too. I think they have been advertising in the NYT or somewhere. I also wanted to go to Victoria, BC. I was supposed to go many years when I was in Seattle, but I want to say they had an outbreak of SARS or something respiratory, and they weren’t letting people in. Fairfax must be gorgeous. It’s a beautiful country.

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

Fairfax is like a diamond-a small city on the water, 19th century buildings and houses, very artsy and home to some real individuals! A hundred years ago there was a huge explosion in their harbor (2 ships collided, one with explosive fuel, many hundreds were killed and much of the city was flattened)-folks in Boston took up a collection of money and goods, put it all on a train to Fairfax immediately; The next year they donated a huge, perfect Christmas tree to Boston.

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Bobbie75's avatar

Leave your phone at home and take a burner.

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Gerry Boyce's avatar

I love it.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

LOL

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Martha's avatar

Perfect!😆😆

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Maureen Bodie's avatar

You will be as welcome as the buds in May. Let's make Cascadia happen on the West Coast, and what shall we call the same thing on the East Coast?

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Julie Summerfield's avatar

Oldfoundland? We bring the 13 original colonies. I'm in if you'll have us.💖🇨🇦

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Ann Rock's avatar

Hold on, some of those original colonies are below the mason dixon line. I think they’d be happier staying with Herr Trump.

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Celia Smith's avatar

Not this one in GA!

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Italien's avatar
1dEdited

Yee haw!! Bleuexit!😏

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Patr's avatar

South Toronto.

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Beverly's avatar

Maine!

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Barry Blue's avatar

They’re going to have to take Arizona in order for New Mexico (New Canada?) and Colorado to join Cascadia. I’m sure eastern Washington and Oregon will refuse to go. What to call Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois and Michigan, though (less the naughty bits)?

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lesley wildfong's avatar

Idaho has been trying to annex eastern Washington and eastern Oregon for some time now, so they are welcome to stay here. But first we have to get out of eastern Washington, we had to move here for jobs that are now over so we are free to go north!

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Western Washington is THERE!

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Susan Stone's avatar

What happens to us poor far west Texas people that are not related to much else in the state?

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Elizabeth Block's avatar

Texas was part of Mexico until the US stole it.

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Susan Stone's avatar

I'm very much aware of that, And that NM, AZ, CA, and NV were included in the theft.

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John Townsend's avatar

"Atlantica"?

"New Albion"?

"Nova Mundo"?

"South Canada"?

Certainly not "Gilead"!

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Alan's avatar
1dEdited

Andy, is the first time a Carney was propelled to victory by a "Carnie" who speaks in cant (Carnie jargon) and emulates the "humbug" of PT Barnum?

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Steve Trudell's avatar

I think it should be just the blue states joining Canada 🇨🇦!

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Alan's avatar
1dEdited

Steve -- if so, what would happen to the purple states? Would they have to wait in line (or hold their breaths) until turning blue?😉😨

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Steve Trudell's avatar

Alan, The purple states will have go the way Of the sub deals…they will have stay in Purgatory until the they atone for their half baked MAGA sins!

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Annette's avatar

<standing ovation>

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John Townsend's avatar

Mea culpa! Mea maxima culpa!

Chanted over and over again while walking on their knees!

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Susan Barnes's avatar

Many of us live in red state hell.

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MARGARET KENDALL's avatar

Reminds me of that old Danny Kaye song, "I'm a lonely little petunia in an onion patch."

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Jean-Pierre Gariépy's avatar

Montréal is waiting for you, arms open. On vous aime. Courage.

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Barry Blue's avatar

Elbows up!

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SCS - Michigan's avatar

Merci!

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Susan Linehan's avatar

Can't wait. Going to Victoria for the day without customs!

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MARGARET KENDALL's avatar

Love it! But Canada could do more for us -- than we for them. It'd be a lopsided union.

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J Cheng's avatar

I'm willing to work!!! And I'm 71

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MARGARET KENDALL's avatar

And you're able. You spring chickens in your 70s have a fruitful life ahead of you.

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Janeo's avatar
14hEdited

In the last hundred days there has been a new tradition established at Blaine, Washington at the US- Canadian border crossing at Peace Arch Park. On Sunday afternoons Americans gather on the Washington side and Canadians on the BC side and they shake hands across the 49th Parallel. The inscription above the arch reads, "Children of a Common Mother."

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Karen Lindsay's avatar

That brought tears to my eyes. A good reminder that the great majority of people are good-hearted, peace-loving and generous of spirit.

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Charles Wagner's avatar

I wish.

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Sean M Carlin's avatar

There should be a Borowitz Party on Pelee Island (Canadian Side) where we celebrate our independence from Donald Shitler!

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Sean M Carlin's avatar

Maple syrup and better Strippers from Quebec? Call me Canadian! I will be working on learning my new national anthem tonight!

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J Cheng's avatar

Eleven is a perfect number for provinces. We are law-abiding citizens who appreciate your values. Will work for citizenship!

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Annette's avatar

Their national anthem is so much easier to sing, too!! And let's not forget . . . poutine!!

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Rob Haley's avatar

Does that mean I have to learn French?

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Maureen Bodie's avatar

Only if you move to Quebec where you could exist as an Anglophone, but life would be more rich and fun if you could speak French. Most Canadians who do not live in Quebec, even though we took French in school, cannot communicate in it effectively.

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John Townsend's avatar

Oui! Oui! Monsieur Haley. And all the verb conjugations, subjunctives, two forms

of past tense....

Or simply learn the dirty words first.

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Susan Barnes's avatar

Best comment ever!

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Kathie Cook's avatar

Congratulations to the Canadians for not making the same terrible blunder that the U.S. did!

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Catherine Richards's avatar

We are a glaring example of just how quickly things can go so terribly wrong.

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Pamela Minich's avatar

I still can't believe so many Americans are that stupid....naive, uneducated, etc. However, many Dems didn't vote.

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Betty Meikle's avatar

As a Democrat that DID VOTE, I think that may have made them naive or uneducated. I would never call them stupid! After all, they registered as Democrats. The 47th president appealed to weaknesses in many, including anger, greed, nievte, anger, lack of education, and then there's anger and greed.

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Concerned Citizen's avatar

I’m an independent and I voted for Kamala! I do my research and I didn’t vote for him the first or second time either!

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Al Keim's avatar

Yes! But at the bottom of anger and greed is wrath and avarice.

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Pamela Minich's avatar

All true. But I still think some of our fellow Americans are just plain dumb.

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Patr's avatar

Proves that complacency is not a political position.

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Robot Bender's avatar

Not making a decision is in itself a decision.

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Al Keim's avatar

A loud one.

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Pamela Minich's avatar

True! But not helpful in a democracy. I've been known to throw away my vote on a Libertarian candidate for Prez in protest, so I get it.

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Lynn Foord's avatar

Bravo!!!!

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john storojev's avatar

You got that right!

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Carol Sassaman's avatar

The triumph of good vs evil. Hope that trends south.

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Catherine Richards's avatar

I wrote that shared thought.

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Pearl's avatar

Imagine being so unpopular that you lose when you're not even on the ballot. Whoo Hoo

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Teresa's avatar

Poetic justice 😂😂😂! WTG Donnie 👍

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Clym Yeobright's avatar

Score one for sanity! Congrats Libs of CA!

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Karen Glenney's avatar

Sorry to change the subject, but did anyone notice Macron's attempt to ignore Trump as he greeted and shook Zelensky's hand at the Pope's funeral? Macron started to turn away and Trump stopped him and shook his hand. Macron almost got away!

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Clym Yeobright's avatar

Come on! trump looked so slim in that blue suit Macron didn’t recognize him

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Italien's avatar

The blue suit was very, uh, assholic..😏

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carol corsaro's avatar

Come on, we all know Dumpf has no class! A blue suit at the Pope’s

funeral?! Selling merchandise from the

White House! Turning

the Oval Office into an

eye-abusing gold misstatement?!?Yuck!!!!!!! Verbally abusing the President

of Ukraine on TV? Ughhhh!!!

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jb from Weston's avatar

Seeing him rot in hell?

Priceless.

(replying to Carol; I liked the rhythm you had going!)

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Agreed, jb. Carol's rant comes across as a poem.

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

And letting his boring wife pave over the rose garden!

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John Townsend's avatar

Letting his wife do anything.

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

GRrrrrrrrr

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John Townsend's avatar

Where is that bolt of lightning when you need it the most?

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

I thought it was quite fetching.

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Robin D's avatar

I love the word fetching. I shall have to incorporate it into my vocabulary that lately has been filled with 4 letter words and curses. Fetching is so civilized and descriptive. 🤗

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Yeah, with that uber old-fashioned ring. I started using it some time back, but it's important to use it judiciously (no jokes) lest it be overdone. If I've said it 10 times in as many years, I'd be exaggerating. As to cursing, when I began, my friends laughed, saying that it sounded so odd coming from me. Now I feel like an old sailor.

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Robin D's avatar

Hee hee. I understand what you mean about the use of fetching. I have a friend who uses the word splendid...sparingly, but it's effective. As far as cursing, people don't even notice it from me anymore. It just flows. It's like my "lingua franca". Everyone understands it LOL.

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jb from Weston's avatar

L.R.,

I'm not sure it'd fetch even 2 bucks.

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

all his suits fit like pajamas

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

jb, I'm sure you're correct, but, if he'd been wearing the usual, flapping, big red tie and it were part of the offer, the ensemble might fetch $1.35?

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Annette's avatar

<snort laugh>

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Robin D's avatar

Looking like a Smurf is so slenderizing lol. it's so easy to disappear into the woodwork. I don't know what they were thinking. I've been looking at the pictures of the two of them and Melania has never looked worse. I think she was in mourning she was not the widow.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

She looked kinda hellish to me, but I don't give a fuck, do you?

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Al Keim's avatar

L.R!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

Don't gasp at me, Al. It was HER coat, not mine.

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Al Keim's avatar

Give me a little time to adjust. I've grown inured to bombs in Kiev and Gaza this was totally unexpected!

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Robin D's avatar

Not one flying one 😂

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Catherine Richards's avatar

I asked why she couldn't find that in black

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John Townsend's avatar

Not really.

By now, she's planted that phrase spelled out in begonias or peonies in

the Rose Garden.

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Annette's avatar

she did look a little tense, maybe load up on moisturizer . . . and life insurance on ConOLD?

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Phyllis Logan's avatar

Looked like the same gruesome garb she wore when they met the Pope the first time - ugh.

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shee-rah's avatar

The smell of farts precedes him.

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Barbara .Siek's avatar

While this is a hoot, it's also supposedly true. I've read 3 different accounts of how it's hard to keep a straight face standing behind Trump given the reek of body odor and feces. Yes, that's what I said.

It's possible at his age, and given his schedule (and gradual mental decline?) that he is incontinent and for practical reasons wears a diaper which needs more frequent changing.

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Nicole Barenbaum's avatar

I've seen a number of references to side effects of prolonged use of Adderall...

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

and its use at his age is discouraged

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

All the more reason to keep him supplied.

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Annette's avatar

depends...

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Robot Bender's avatar

Now with MORE activated charcoal!!

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Celia Smith's avatar

LOTS more.

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

What if, as part of the protest, we all sent him a box of Gas-X?? His staff might really appreciate it.

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Robot Bender's avatar

Beano.

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Al Keim's avatar

Just the word I was looking for, beaner.

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Celia Smith's avatar

I think he needs more than Gas-X or Beano; not sure what, though. Maybe a Glade suppository would help a little.

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Sandra Hardie's avatar

Perfect, Celia! Bet we could get the Chinese to make them for us with a little bit of chili powder mixed in if we told them who they were for.

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John Townsend's avatar

Hope there were lots of candles in the church to burn the smell off!

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kdsherpa's avatar

LOL!

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Kathy's avatar

Trump’s blue suits are specially crafted to discreetly encompass his big ‘ol diapers

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Robin D's avatar

They said he couldn't wear his black suit because he lost so much weight. 😂 Doesn't Brioni or The White House have onsite tailors? What does Melania do if she pops a button? I don't see her sitting behind a Singer sewing machine or with a needle and thread.

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John Townsend's avatar

Attempting to look glamourous is her main, self-selected job at the White House.

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Annette's avatar

I believe his snoring might have had something to do with it too.

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John Gregory's avatar

I read that Melania had to urge him to shake Macron's hand. At least someone in that pair has a minimum of people/diplomatic skills (though she may still not care, do we?)

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Clym Yeobright's avatar

Remember, she has a lot of experience pleasing men for tips. In his vast commercial experience, don has never relied on ‘the kindness of strangers’ as Blanche Dubois described the business

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Robin D's avatar

I was looking for the picture online, but I guess now that she is Virst Leddy again, and with DOGE scrubbing the internet, it must be gone. But do you remember the picture of her greased up (or lubed) probably nude sitting in the pilot's seat of a private jet? They couldn't even clean it, it had to be replaced. <insert vomit emoji my cheap kindle fire doesn't have>

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Barbara .Siek's avatar

I have the feeling that now that Barron is grown, Melania wants to present herself as a serious woman, wearing suits and chairing committees, when at one point, she was irritated to even have to put up Christmas decorations in The White House and going even further back, working as a nude model.

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Clym Yeobright's avatar

Jane Shore, Nell Gwyn, Emma Lady Hamilton, Claire Clairmont, Peggy Eaton, Melania Knauss. It never works out as they planned it and they die in poverty with deep regrets. Best to learn a skill that can be performed standing upright … with one’s mouth closed unless to sing

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Annette's avatar

Barbara ~ that could be true; she dipped her toes in the water with her lovely Mother's Day jewelry and NFT, so now she wants to elevate her stature in the White House.

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

It just proves that there is still need to carry some hand sanitizer.

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Robot Bender's avatar

And a mask

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Annette's avatar

<snort laugh, with coffee>

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Betty Meikle's avatar

Astute observation, Karen.

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Christina Johnson's avatar

Trump grabbed Macron…but no handshake. He was so defeated that he had to have a nap. But doing so during the funeral was a little inappropriate.

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Al Keim's avatar

I thought that's what I saw!

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Patr's avatar

I’m sure Macron immediately sought soap and water to rid his hand of the filth.

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

maybe Brigitte brought some hand sanitizer for just that purpose.

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Annette's avatar

We need a montage of all of these moments, and the time ConOLD pushed past Montenegro's Prime Minister. And then accompany the video with a community from Miss Manners.

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John Townsend's avatar

Monsieur Macron thought he might catch something.

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Fredi Hensley's avatar

That was my favorite part! Trump is so obnoxiously needy. And yet, at the same time, he doesn't know how to be needed or wanted. No awareness of himself or others.

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Kathy J's avatar

I have followed Canadian elections before this one. This time, I had a more involved excitement and wished for it to go to PM Carney! Way to go, Canadians. Now, if the voters and future voters here can learn a thing or two.

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Catherine Richards's avatar

Someone ensure there are no parties to interfere here!

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Kay Gilbert's avatar

Congratulations, Canadians! I'm so proud for you. Stand up to Hiro-Cheeto!

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B Steele's avatar

As my friends are now saying in Canada, “Elbows up!” Which translates to 🖕Trump! 😀

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Robot Bender's avatar

A lot of Americans are saying that too. Just wait a few months until the tariff crisis hits the country. I can't wait to hear the MAGA squeals from my local Walmart.

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Annette's avatar

Amazon has already started by listing the impact of tariffs on orders now . . . and Temu has been doing that . . . I believe that portion of the tariff is known as the "in your face" response.

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Robot Bender's avatar

Trump wouldn't dare go after Bezos. If he did, he and the rest of the billionaires would bury Trump.

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Annette's avatar

Wouldn't it be great to have a WWE match: ConOLD versus all his tech "bros" tag teaming.

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John Townsend's avatar

Ew! Ew! Icky poo!

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John Townsend's avatar

--in the gun supply aisles of Walmarts in red states.

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Italien's avatar

Whoot!🥳

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B Steele's avatar

The NYT has reported that some of the litigation against the tariffs is coming from conservatives, including a couple of entities that purportedly has or had ties to Charles Koch and other oligarchs. So some of the fat pigs are squealing too.

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John Townsend's avatar

Elbow, middle fingers, whatever.....

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C. Savery's avatar

O Canada!

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Annette's avatar

true patriot love!!

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UpNorth's avatar

I sent congratulations to Mark Carney via his office website. You can't leave any blanks but I got it to take my message by checking "outside Canada" for my province and filling in "A1A1A1" for my postal code. Isn't it a nice gesture for a bunch of regular Americans to let him know how happy we are?

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Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

Great idea. Hope he starts trolling trump

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Annette's avatar

I followed your lead and posted a congratulations on BlueSky for Mr. Carney. :)

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Maria Jette's avatar

OH YEAH.

But I’m smiling that sad kind of smile. Laugh or cry? One more day of the endlessly repeating question rattling around my brain: How can all this insane stuff be happening? (not Carney— that’s a rare bit of sanity.)

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Patti Wilson's avatar

It’s been a long time in the making we’ve just been blind to it and haven’t connected the dots to see what was going to happen. It started when they got the majority of the Supreme Court incredible strategy, devoted to evil. Problem is it may not end with Trump.

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Maria Jette's avatar

Some of us have been paying attention to the Supreme Court threat for a LONG time. Bush v Gore was when I started to feel panicky…all the ardent progressives or whatever we were calling them/ourselves in those days, nobly voting for Nader, impervious to those of us who kept saying, “Too risky! The SUPREME COURT is one of their goals! Don’t throw away your vote in THIS ELECTION!!!” (That was what I was yelling, as I’d voted for Nader to make a 3rd party statement in the previous election, when Clinton had it in the bag. And yes, I do regret it.)

And then those fucking, er, hanging chads…in Florida, of course. And that’s when the embers started to glow, and the Russ Voughts of the day started the long game which led to Project 2025.

So many idealistic young liberals wanting to shake up the two party system, and Gore seemed like such a goofus in his brown suits and drawly delivery— but what he was saying was all right on, at least when he said what he actually thought, and not what those brown-suits-recommending consultants told him he should say.

What a missed opportunity! With a President Gore, we would never have gone into Afghanistan, because he would’ve listened to the security briefings which Bush blew off. Instead, we got 9/11, and the horror of Iraq, and the simultaneous horror of Afghanistan, and everything else which led inexorably yet still shockingly to overturning Roe v Wade, which nobody imagined could ever happen.

Oh, and Trump.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Knowing Clinton did have it in the bag for his 2nd term, I too voted for Nader, and did so as well to make a statement. No regrets. When the race was tight next time around, I voted Gore, and was furious that he didn't challenge the Florida results. Fuck being a nice guy and a good loser! Gore let his voters down, damn him. He should have won!!! And that was the beginning of our slide down down down into the turpitude and chaos that the Repugnicans would bring on. Except for a nice respite with Obama, it's been hell on wheels since that moment forward. And here we are...

A lesson now to the world to stand up when you can or you'll end up a horror story like those poor slobs in the late great America,

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Mark Lip's avatar

I hate to say it but RBG hung on way too long, denying Obama to shape the court for a generation.

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Cathy Wampler's avatar

O’Connell would have held that seat vacant, too.

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Barbara .Siek's avatar

Marie: Thanks for your on-the-money comment. Much agree with you re: Vought and the "missed opportunity" in Gore.

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Harvey Perry's avatar

Jill Stein and also from the Green Party helped Trump get elected…twice. Perhaps it was payback for her fancy dinner in the Kremlin with General Flynn hosted by Putin.

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

What a stinking traitor! Shame on her!

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

What a stinking traitor! Shame on her!

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

What a stinking traitor! Shame on her!

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Celia Smith's avatar

And Gore was also onto climate change early on. Did you see An Inconvenient Truth?

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Cathy Wampler's avatar

Let’s not forget Roger Ailes planning with Nixon the formation of a Republican “news” channel that later became Fox “News.”

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Rain Robinson's avatar

Hahaha. Go Canada!

But seriously, Germany also rejected the far right-wing, neo-Nazi party, in their elections. A loss for MuskX's plan to get Europe into Russia's bear hug.

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Cathy Wampler's avatar

And France.

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Rain Robinson's avatar

Yes, thank you for adding them.

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Cathy Wampler's avatar

And UK.

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Hank Greenspan's avatar

Tariffic news! We are celebrating here in Ontichigan! Go Labatt's Blue!

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Sandy Naughton's avatar

I’m in Minnesota. Home of Tim Walz and Amy Klobuchar and PAUL WELSTONE. It would be so easy to include us.

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Elizabeth Block's avatar

True. I'm watching the returns coming in, and people voted for the Liberals to keep the Conservatives out.

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