Why Trump authorized the military parade folks, tanks and fighter jets to leave Washington DC is the biggest mystery. DOGE must have been in charge of that decision.
Take heart, all ye who doubted that this is the real Andy Borowitz. Have faith and be rewarded. Stop as long as you wish to pay homage. Plenty of tissues and t.p. for all. And you'll shirley need them.
Some society matron (if I'm recalling the facts exactly, which may not be the case), accosted George Bernard Shaw at a do and, hoping to impress, blathered to Shaw, Did he know that sugar is the only word in the English language that is spelled "su" but pronounced "shu"? To which Shaw responded, "Sure."
I wouldn't attend it even if someone else wrote it, but it would certainly not be me. I'll make an exception; if Mel Brooks wrote it, I would buy an opening night ticket. John, thanks for the laugh.
Crusti Gnome smiled secretly, knowing she is offering people $50K bonuses and other perks to join her goon squad, probably causing tRump to have to import agents and officers from nearby states to protect him, oh, and the district.
"I welcome the additional resources; they should start by going after the criminal organization currently occupying the White House: convicted felons, sexual predators, grifters, and a group focused on creating and spreading false information using Federal government resources.
I suggest they have Trump stand on the steps of the Capitol and use his "best words" for hours on end. I believe people would fall asleep watching him and then crime would cease!
Appreciate the humor, anything to lighten the moment. I thought Trump would wait until the mid-terms were approaching to send troops into blue cities. Apparently he figured why wait, and he invades DC and threatens Los Angeles, New York, Oakland, Baltimore, Chicago, etc.
They don’t dare. They are afraid that if they do, the MAGA extremists will attack them and their families, and then receive full pardons from the Dear Leader.
Bravo AB!! Brilliant! (I am sitting in the dentist’s office laughing out loud. I ask you, how often does that happen??!) This is absolutely the truth, as we know you always tell! Definitely Snopes material…😏
PROBLEM. SOLVED.
Andy, that's a great idea as long as the DC "parade grounds" don't emulate the one in Nuremberg in 1930s Germany.
Good News: It appears that Mayor Muriel is not prepared to rename Washington, DC the Dementia Capital of the US. so she'll support your idea😉
That said, this Looney Tunes video was produced to publicize the parade!
https://share.google/vcIN7T57IDJjjtfXn
Why Trump authorized the military parade folks, tanks and fighter jets to leave Washington DC is the biggest mystery. DOGE must have been in charge of that decision.
It's payback for beating up poor lil bigballs!
Funny cartoon except for the caricature of Ghandi.
John, I found that off-putting, too, and can't guess the intention of the Looney Tunes people.
Take heart, all ye who doubted that this is the real Andy Borowitz. Have faith and be rewarded. Stop as long as you wish to pay homage. Plenty of tissues and t.p. for all. And you'll shirley need them.
I already have plenty of tissues and TP. And don't call me 'surely'!
Some society matron (if I'm recalling the facts exactly, which may not be the case), accosted George Bernard Shaw at a do and, hoping to impress, blathered to Shaw, Did he know that sugar is the only word in the English language that is spelled "su" but pronounced "shu"? To which Shaw responded, "Sure."
and, in the olden days when I first heard that joke, "sumac"...
Oh, Floof, thanks so much for this. I've never heard it or any variation and wouldn't it be tragic to go through life that way? So delicious.
Tell me again, Who's on first?
Yes!
And don't call us shirley! 😉
OMG! This is LOL funny!
Thank you, Andy!
PS: I do believe that this plan could work…..
--but Trump's still there! Aaaaah!
Remind me to never get on your bad side! This was on 🔥! 🤣
Never make an enemy of a comedian, lol.
😂😂😂
Crime would go down if 45/47 left town for another golf trip
It would go down 1,500%! 🤣
Maybe 2,500%
yes, bigly! Like no one's ever seen before in this country!
Yep! The master criminal would be on the golf course.
Shaking down two chip companies, just like the Mafias shake downs!
They went to jail, why is he out?
Dang! That's it! He must have grabbed power after the other mafia bosses got busted. Seriously. All he used to be was a two bit wannabe.
THAT hasn't changed a bit: he's STILL a "two-bit wannabe".... except he's in the White House and has access to the nuclear codes!
Oh my! Just realized why he is fighting crime!
The Grift continues!
That's great!
Crime would decline by at least a half, and the average IQ in DC would double.
So would the level of ridiculousness!
Only if he never comes back!
Only Andy can find something funny in tonight's news! May the Goddess Hilaria bless you.
It's been a tough day.
When the going gets tough,the tough go shopping.
I didn't go shopping, but I did take two online classes; one on music in literature and the other on Broadway Theater. That's my kind of escape.
So, you are now ready to write "Trump! The Musical!" ?
I wouldn't attend it even if someone else wrote it, but it would certainly not be me. I'll make an exception; if Mel Brooks wrote it, I would buy an opening night ticket. John, thanks for the laugh.
--and fantasy-bopping on certain heads....
And the muse of humor, Thalia!!😂
I'm embarrassed that I was too lazy to look up the actual factual Muse of Humor, so I invented Hilaria. I stand informed.
Pardon, but I like Hilaria better.
🤣
Hilaria rules!
Hilaria Thalia Rim-Shottia!
This was a total abuse of the men and women in the U.S. military. This worm of a draft dodger using them is a disgrace.
Crusti Gnome smiled secretly, knowing she is offering people $50K bonuses and other perks to join her goon squad, probably causing tRump to have to import agents and officers from nearby states to protect him, oh, and the district.
Crusti Gnome 🤣🤣🤔
Like his three wives came from abroad.
No one in NY would get near him or Norm the puppy killer.
Amen, brother!
Totally agree. He should be jailed for even thinking this!
He is forever Cap'n Bone Spurs, which can conveniently be reduced to Cap'n BS in a pinch.
But a whole LOT of them voted for him and continue to support him. So there's that.
When can we empty the Oval Office of Beelzeblubber?
Holy water? Cross? Stake made of silver? Let’s get crackin’!😏
Don't forget strings of garlic!
Why he puts gold on everything. Silver scares him.
Of course, it's the natural color of his hair!
We're laughing out loud at my house 🤣
Beelzeblubber!!🤣
If only there were a gold toilet big enough to flush and flush hard
"Beelzebubber", love it!
An excellent solution! And let’s remember that whenever Donald leaves Washington DC, there’s one less criminal in town.
--and not enough of them gone!
Mayor Bowser should declare an emergency, too:
"I welcome the additional resources; they should start by going after the criminal organization currently occupying the White House: convicted felons, sexual predators, grifters, and a group focused on creating and spreading false information using Federal government resources.
Mike, that’s actually quite a good idea. 👍
Oh my! If they move on to other organizations on capital hill, country will lose all three branches of government.
"--and sic 'em now Capitol police!"
I suggest they have Trump stand on the steps of the Capitol and use his "best words" for hours on end. I believe people would fall asleep watching him and then crime would cease!
droning on and on in two and three syllable words, confabulating all the way!
"Grokeries!"
I don’t know; maybe only one & two syllable words for tRump.
--and lying like hell, hell, hell!
--but the populace would keel over! Genocide by boredom!
Damn! Wish my brain worked as cleverly as yours Andy!
Don’t we all..🥳😏
That is awesome! What a burn!
I’m watching CBS Evening News and now the PBS Newshour. No one has mentioned Epstein yet. Successful distraction.
DAMN! he even had me distracted....🙄
IMO, the Putin meeting, DC occupation, etc. is all to distract from Epstein.
Lol you did it again, Andy! Made me laugh in a day that was a bit stressful ...🤗🤗
I wish you'd fed this line to Mayor Bowser. Having her say it would have been awesome!!
Appreciate the humor, anything to lighten the moment. I thought Trump would wait until the mid-terms were approaching to send troops into blue cities. Apparently he figured why wait, and he invades DC and threatens Los Angeles, New York, Oakland, Baltimore, Chicago, etc.
and where is Congress on all this? it's as if both bodies don't exist. why doesn't someone stand up and speak the truth?
Because to become a Repuglican, you first have to have your spine removed.
Not just the repugs suffer from spinelessness.
But really great comeback to the query, "why doesn't someone stand up and speak the truth?"
We need to replace every Democrat in the primaries. They have failed us all. Fire them all. We would get fired if we did that badly.
Don't forget the Dems have been towers of jello
They don’t dare. They are afraid that if they do, the MAGA extremists will attack them and their families, and then receive full pardons from the Dear Leader.
I try to send couple email each day to politicians I disagree with-just to remind them we're here and not going away.
They are in recess. To keep them from asking for the Epstein’s files. You can’t make this stuff up.
yes, but they can still speak into a microphone from anywhere; they've all chosen to remain silent
The Democrats are busy doing the only thing they do anymore. Begging for donations. I wish I was joking.
Bravo AB!! Brilliant! (I am sitting in the dentist’s office laughing out loud. I ask you, how often does that happen??!) This is absolutely the truth, as we know you always tell! Definitely Snopes material…😏