Yeah, just drop her off at a Whole Foods or Kohls. Not much more than that needed. I wonder how long it will be before he drives this one away like he did the previous one. That cost him, though. Ha, ha.
It would have been cheaper just to buy a made-to-order robot. And (so far) they don't demand a huge pre-nup. On the other hand, who's to say that Bezos is an actual human...?
With all that $$$$ you’d think they could get a better plastic surgeon? I mean, her face, lips & boobs look positively scary. Bet she’s got hair extensions in there somewhere, too. Yikes 😬
It is not my habit to comment on a person’s facial features, but since it is not her original face now, I have to say how unattractive she looks compared to the beautiful face she had before the fillers and botox. Such a shame that she thought she needed to change her look. Sad.
I still think the Kardashian-Trumper-female look might be a variation of Body Dysmorphic Disorder, an obsession with one's perceived physical flaws. (And, yes, that's listed in the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders," aka DSM-5, under obsessive-compulsive disorders.) I mean, that's a lot of money and time and pain/discomfort to spend on looking grotesque.
Special to TBR: “The bride was radiant in the chaise lounge from her mother’s sun room. She is a determined kind of gal and insisted on a 17-inch waist, just like Scarlett O’Hara. She spent weeks having a “training corset” push her spleen into her liver. New best friend Kim Kardashian sent the bride one of her old ones via a plain, unmarked brown envelope.” Photo: https://www.threads.com/@mkent729/post/DLYuHdhJwK8?xmt=AQF09L_i6VfoATQbGHAQpK87gPdm4XJaUmzDvtQQyMI8FA
Her mouth takes up half her face. That dress she had on when she stepped into the boat made her look like a made to order android. This is what constitutes "beauty" today? I think she looks funny.
Exactly what I have been thinking. So many people are starving and dying and even in the US of A way too many desperately need help and these people spend millions just to show off. Also why didn't they do this in their own country, I mean the country they live in. Italy can use the money they spent there and hopefully it is the sum mentioned in all the papers.
Huh? David? How did you get here? Not a moment ago I opined a short way up the screen that I suspected it was women-only in this area. Glad to see you.
yup...that and it gets worse if you, for some medical reason, lose weight really fast: da-da-da-da-da-da--batwings! Yeah, aging ain't for sissies. (or the poor but terminally vain.)
I wondered if she was wearing a corset.....remember Scarlett O'hara insisting that Mammy pull it tighter? I have seen the real thing....sooo uncomfortable to look at, can't imagine wearing one
Remember scenes from The Devil Wears Prada? The “clackers” don’t eat and think a size 6 is HUGE! They will do anything to stay below size zero as that’s what the world tells them is beautiful. They say if Mailyn Monroe were alive today at exactly the same size as she was in her prime, she would be considered fat!
You remind me of a novel I read my years ago about a woman whose husband divorced her and fell in love with somebody else. The divorced woman was out for revenge, and had all sorts of surgeries so that she ended up looking like the new one. Don't remember any more, but it was awful.
Yes! It was Fay Weldon's "Life and Loves of a She-Devil." But I was gratified to see a couple of years later, Weldon dining with an attractive young man in a London bistro. She was a substantial woman, surgically unimproved, and enjoying a delicious feast of Greek food.
Wow! The only thing I was sure of was that Devil was in the title. Thank you for refreshing my memory. I'm also glad to know that the author was "surgically unimproved". She had an amazing imagination.
I think it’s only the CEOs and people involved with the actual running of the billionaires’ businesses who are drooling over the tax cuts. The others only read Vogue, Page 6 and the PB Shiny Sheet so they don’t even know about it. And they don’t care as long as they can afford the Louboutin shoes, Gucci bags and Botox treatments….
Well, I don't know about the rest of you girls, but right now, Christian is on his way over to fill in a tiny scratch in my red soles. That is, I'm guessing that we're all women here right now. Interesting.
Insecurity and extremely poor taste drive women who think they can stop the aging process. meanwhile, their husbands/boyfriends don’t care as long as the sex is great.
Ironically, marriage is known to temper the hot sex, so logically divorce and prenups kick in.
I finally gave in when I was yr and had the reduction. It’s the best thing I could’ve done for my back and shoulders! It’s second only to my hysterectomy in making my like easier!
I remember having to run laps in junior high and high school -- OMG!!! Having big boobs was frickin' painful. Especially since at 15 I was like Sophia Loren but kept going, ending up like Anna Nicole Smith. Boob-wise, that is... Painful, I tell you! I was athletic and they just got in the way, dang it all. Where I worked 30 years ago, there was this lovely young Asian woman of small stature and wispy slim build who got a boob job to the nth degree -- size triple G cup, looked like, or maybe Z -- and it was very sadly grotesque. Oh, honey, honey, honey....
Actually, I did get implants 18 years ago, because they made me feel complete, like what I should have had. They were not outsize, but I ended up getting really tired of them, and gladly had them removed last month after they ruptured. I would recommend getting the reduction if you really want it. I don't think the recovery would be that bad, based on my recent experience (and I'm an old woman).
OK. Story time. I dressed up for the Halloween concert. Bought a 38 D bra at Ross, went to a friend who sewed and got some professional stuffing, put on a tight bright pink top, borrowed a blond wig from another friend, and went to work. Yes, work. Someone who had known me for 20 years didn't recognize me in the parking lot. The men had one of two reactions: either blushed when they talked to me, or kept glancing at my "boobs" and then down as if saying, "I'm not looking. Nope. Not looking."
When I got home I noticed that some stuffing was peeking out of my top. My conclusion: It doesn't matter how you get the big boobs. So why not use removable, comfy soft stuffing? It's all a big, fluffy act anyway.
Yes, apparently so. Further enhanced with lipstick. Think of a female primate in estrus. (This comment brought to you courtesy of my long-ago degree in anthropology.)
Yes! In a terse press release announcing the cancellation of the wedding, Jeff Bezos said, "It's a pity I didn't meet the bimbo in time to warn her away from those cheap implants."
I want to be informed, but considering each of these decisions is horrifying. Plus-I just read that Gym Jordan sent a letter to Harvard requesting tons of paperwork because the R's think Harvard is COLLUDING with other Ivies to jack up tuition. The government and the values it is based on are under threat, not for an ultimate good, but for destruction only. They won't be happy until our schools, hospitals and governmental local offices no longer exist. Widespread firings and diminished benefits have become expected. Not the indicators of a healthy, growing, educated, forward-thinking country, but one sliding to obscurity.
Is this a repeat when GYM claimed NYC had a very high crime rate with no facts, it turned out one of the major Ohio cities was much higher! GYM became very quiet after that inaccurate claim on his part.
He fools folks in Ohio, but not the rest of us with his ignorance.
Thanks for a smile that is a miracle for me after reading SCOTUS decisions. Can’t WAIT to see if you can extract ANY humor out of those. But I have faith in you!
I didn’t vote for McConnell just to stick it to Miller — but you are absolutely right. This is ALL on him for stealing our nominees. (Then there’s John Roberts who totally disgusts me but that’s for another day…)
Been calling Itch a traitor he refused to hold the impeachment hearings before Biden came to office. Oh yeah, and when he refused to hold the Garland hearings when Obama nominated him way back in February, 2016 "because it's an election year" (which might have prevented him from becoming our ineffectual AG who let the fish get away), and then had ACB confirmed a week before the election. A truly corrupt, despicable human being.
He’s lucky the tent wasn’t stolen by the delivery driver, and that he didn’t have to deal with endless emails telling him to return it for credit. Ditto for the plastic bride.
That last sentence, Andy! We here in Italy (and elsewhere, I’m sure) are reveling in this “disastrous” event. We’re also relieved to know that if one of the many private water taxis they’ve commandeered sinks, and she’s in it, those bulbous knockers will surely keep her afloat. And it will give her new husband something to cling to.
In the pre-nup Bezos insisted that his bride must ALWAYS display her cleavage in public. Being the brilliant woman that she is, she has readily complied.
Happy Friday, everyone! A little good news to get you through the weekend.
You are what is keeping up sane, Andy.
Absolutely so, Mary!
A little much-needed humor. And yes, what is up with that face? Eeeeeek. Too much plastic surgery.
This is what happens when boys aren’t allowed to play with Barbie dolls
--but Jeff is playing with one now.....
Exactly.
MEE-YOW! :-)
Barbie dolls look more real. . .
and have a better personality
Omg
Plastic lips. Plastic boobs. Plastic face. And don't get me started on his silicone-order bride.
Maybe he bought her on Amazon.
Blow up bride, gone bad. Amazon will take it back. Deflate it and put it back in the box. 😅
I give them 5 years, tops.
5 months
Take back a "used" model?!! I guess they'll be obligated to....
they have a good return policy though….
Yeah, just drop her off at a Whole Foods or Kohls. Not much more than that needed. I wonder how long it will be before he drives this one away like he did the previous one. That cost him, though. Ha, ha.
there Has got to be a prenup!!
--and the standard Amazon prenup policy at an extra charge should be no problem.
Even Amazon would have a wide, better selection! Bezos
should have checked there first.
She, like the tent was "Amazon Basics".
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That’s ok. We’re reshoring. Where’s the blowup doll plant going to be? Jobs and all that.😏
It would have been cheaper just to buy a made-to-order robot. And (so far) they don't demand a huge pre-nup. On the other hand, who's to say that Bezos is an actual human...?
I always assumed Bezos was a pod.
Check the back of his neck for a zipper..😏
Maybe, once upon a time....
(Now that fairytales and their weddings are a theme here.)
Amazing what Bezos spends on his wife! New lips plus bigger boobs must make him happy!
Especially when she's looking like she's about to lose her dress.
You could balance a tea tray on her bosoms.
The comments here are hilarious. The WSJ had an article on the wedding, with a photo of Sanchez. Many “This comment violated our policy” !!
In the years to come, a cafeteria tray!
Budget buffet -- no charge for silicone.
Hahaha!!😂
Imagine: Lauren serves Jeff his tea -- a cup of Earl Gray, his and hers, perched atop each plastic promontory.
Great one, John!
I have a friend who used to do that as a party trick… but hers are real
A trophy wife? Or the booby prize?
That would mean about 75% of her is under 18 years old.
Let us not get started on any silicone-order bride!
With all that $$$$ you’d think they could get a better plastic surgeon? I mean, her face, lips & boobs look positively scary. Bet she’s got hair extensions in there somewhere, too. Yikes 😬
Noo kidding!! This is Black Mirror shit. Jmo 😏
So true of all the women in tRump's life — wives, daughters, staff — all Botox/lip filler queens.
The aging porn actress look.
Tarnished trophy wives.
--not that any of us would even know what an porn actress
would look like....right?
Stormy Daniels?
Melania?
John, you’re on a roll!
I’m ready for my closeup. Mr. DeMille.
Even his immigrant wives redid themselves...
So we wouldn't know their origins?
And "bottle blondes".
It is not my habit to comment on a person’s facial features, but since it is not her original face now, I have to say how unattractive she looks compared to the beautiful face she had before the fillers and botox. Such a shame that she thought she needed to change her look. Sad.
LOL... but we can be sure her chest heaved.
We are all heaving....
Eeeeek is right, and it's not just the face.
I still think the Kardashian-Trumper-female look might be a variation of Body Dysmorphic Disorder, an obsession with one's perceived physical flaws. (And, yes, that's listed in the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders," aka DSM-5, under obsessive-compulsive disorders.) I mean, that's a lot of money and time and pain/discomfort to spend on looking grotesque.
P.S. Is the Tumper-female template also an example of what Tom Lehrer once called "diseases of the rich"?
the "operative" word there being "plastic"
Thanks, I needed that! 😄
Jeff and Friends need our help now more than ever:
https://open.substack.com/pub/jaywilson1/p/for-just-19-a-month?r=10sd39&utm_medium=ios
That’s hilarious! We need more humour writers to get through this.
LOL
Happy Friday, Andy! Thanks for the chuckles!
Special to TBR: “The bride was radiant in the chaise lounge from her mother’s sun room. She is a determined kind of gal and insisted on a 17-inch waist, just like Scarlett O’Hara. She spent weeks having a “training corset” push her spleen into her liver. New best friend Kim Kardashian sent the bride one of her old ones via a plain, unmarked brown envelope.” Photo: https://www.threads.com/@mkent729/post/DLYuHdhJwK8?xmt=AQF09L_i6VfoATQbGHAQpK87gPdm4XJaUmzDvtQQyMI8FA
If only that were true
Thanks. It helps quite a lot!
You are a lifesaver, Borowitz. And someday you will explain why they do that to their lips. Please.
Do you mean a Trout Pout?
We focus on Sanchez, but what about Bezos? He looks younger now than he did 20 years ago. That's probably not all due to exercise
He still doesn’t look like much. His sex appeal is all in his bank account.
He swims in a pool filled with golden coins….
Maybe his species ages in reverse.
PEDs
Oh my, you reminded me about Big Mouth Billy Bass singing on my wall.
In our family it's known as the Platypus lips. MAGA women = platypus lips and beta-sheet hair. The bosoms get any higher, she'll choke on 'em.
They’re grotesque.
Or a Trump Pump?
Her mouth takes up half her face. That dress she had on when she stepped into the boat made her look like a made to order android. This is what constitutes "beauty" today? I think she looks funny.
The uber wealthy increasingly resemble the grotesque rich depicted in The Hunger Games
A waste of millions, Bezos could feed a poor nation with the money spent for his ego!
His ego and her tits and blow up lips.
Exactly what I have been thinking. So many people are starving and dying and even in the US of A way too many desperately need help and these people spend millions just to show off. Also why didn't they do this in their own country, I mean the country they live in. Italy can use the money they spent there and hopefully it is the sum mentioned in all the papers.
But in The Hunger Games the costuming was better.
Give it time, Elene. It's getting ghastlier each day.
True that!
Yea, beauty No.
As a blow up doll she would make a good life preserver if the boat goes down or falls overboard.
Huh? David? How did you get here? Not a moment ago I opined a short way up the screen that I suspected it was women-only in this area. Glad to see you.
Gang, look away.. with weight loss & elder status comes…tubular bell tits!!!😂💕
yup...that and it gets worse if you, for some medical reason, lose weight really fast: da-da-da-da-da-da--batwings! Yeah, aging ain't for sissies. (or the poor but terminally vain.)
John is here and knocking’ em dead.
--or her likeness put on a ship's prow.
Blown up enough she would make a good bow bumper
lol 😺
She'd be great for an icebreaker...
Laughing my ⚓️head off here but now can’t get that image out of my head, 🥴
I wondered if she was wearing a corset.....remember Scarlett O'hara insisting that Mammy pull it tighter? I have seen the real thing....sooo uncomfortable to look at, can't imagine wearing one
Remember scenes from The Devil Wears Prada? The “clackers” don’t eat and think a size 6 is HUGE! They will do anything to stay below size zero as that’s what the world tells them is beautiful. They say if Mailyn Monroe were alive today at exactly the same size as she was in her prime, she would be considered fat!
You get these waists when the lower ribs are removed.
That is brutal! But considering all the other "enhancements" she has had, what's one more?
You remind me of a novel I read my years ago about a woman whose husband divorced her and fell in love with somebody else. The divorced woman was out for revenge, and had all sorts of surgeries so that she ended up looking like the new one. Don't remember any more, but it was awful.
Yes! It was Fay Weldon's "Life and Loves of a She-Devil." But I was gratified to see a couple of years later, Weldon dining with an attractive young man in a London bistro. She was a substantial woman, surgically unimproved, and enjoying a delicious feast of Greek food.
Wow! The only thing I was sure of was that Devil was in the title. Thank you for refreshing my memory. I'm also glad to know that the author was "surgically unimproved". She had an amazing imagination.
Don’t give trump any ideas….
Let us not try to imagine it.
The internal organs are shoved this way and that!
Paraphrasing Rob Reiner in "First Wives Club," any more collagen and she'll be able to blink her lips.
One more facelift and she'll have a beard.
Ouch!
lol 😺
A made to order android!! Perfect description!
Humm, what could she use that big mouth for…I’ll have to think about it...
I wonder this too. Also the boobs.
I know that this cosmetic enhancement is a matter of choice, but when the end result is someone who literally looks like a human blow up doll....
Bwahaha! *That’s* what I was trying to think of! I knew there was *something* she reminded me of, and it wasn’t human.
I wonder a) how much that diamond cross in her cleavage cost, and b) how much that cleavage cost…
Wis, the diamond cross is what creates the cleavage. Without it, her chest would look like a formless bulge.
Chorklefaugh!
Brumbleglott! (Don't ask me. You have an effect.)
Even Jesus would look away....
Jesus especially would look away from what I've heard.
Thank you John. It’s such an insult, truly.☦️✝️
Diamonds by Jesus. Rock of ages glint for me
Any true practicing Christian would / should be repulsed by that betrayal of the Criss. She is repellent.
Oh my! I love the description.
All available on Amazon!
Maybe change "up" to a noun the refers to employment?
You are wicked, L.R. And I'm with you.
Broomsticks at the fore? Let us soar!
She could act like the blow up dolls used in the commuter lanes to fool the law!
A few people in the Wash DC/Northern VA i95 fast lanes actually used them….
I've heard it's done with liposuction. Suck it out of the butt, inject it into the boobs. Truly a win-win (for the high-priced surgeon.)
I feel like we're privy to the worst roman orgiastic reality show. THESE are the people drooling over tax cuts. 🤮 gag...
I think it’s only the CEOs and people involved with the actual running of the billionaires’ businesses who are drooling over the tax cuts. The others only read Vogue, Page 6 and the PB Shiny Sheet so they don’t even know about it. And they don’t care as long as they can afford the Louboutin shoes, Gucci bags and Botox treatments….
The hangers-on always calculate which side of the bread is buttered IMO.
Bread or breast?
Well, I don't know about the rest of you girls, but right now, Christian is on his way over to fill in a tiny scratch in my red soles. That is, I'm guessing that we're all women here right now. Interesting.
Meow!
Ten points for spelling “Louboutin” properly.
But have you noticed that very few pronounce it correctly? Mostly heard as LA-boo-tin. Should be Lou-bou-TAN with the "n" getting caught in the nose.
Insecurity and extremely poor taste drive women who think they can stop the aging process. meanwhile, their husbands/boyfriends don’t care as long as the sex is great.
Ironically, marriage is known to temper the hot sex, so logically divorce and prenups kick in.
I would disagree with you about the effects of marriage on sex - when the marriage is a real one, done for the right reasons.
You forgot general tackiness driving women to do that!
Bezos must like it, I would think.
As one who would be getting a breast reduction if the recovery were easier, I truly do not understand wanting big breasts!
especially when they look (and probably feel) like solid objects. sorry-but it looks gross and completely phony
I finally gave in when I was yr and had the reduction. It’s the best thing I could’ve done for my back and shoulders! It’s second only to my hysterectomy in making my like easier!
That was supposed to be “64 years old.” I’m glad you all figured out what I meant!
YUP!
I remember having to run laps in junior high and high school -- OMG!!! Having big boobs was frickin' painful. Especially since at 15 I was like Sophia Loren but kept going, ending up like Anna Nicole Smith. Boob-wise, that is... Painful, I tell you! I was athletic and they just got in the way, dang it all. Where I worked 30 years ago, there was this lovely young Asian woman of small stature and wispy slim build who got a boob job to the nth degree -- size triple G cup, looked like, or maybe Z -- and it was very sadly grotesque. Oh, honey, honey, honey....
And BTW, breast reduction surgery always sounded good to me... Just no bucks for an elective surgery, dadgummit!
As my mom complained, “My D cup runneth over.”
lol 😺😺
Actually, I did get implants 18 years ago, because they made me feel complete, like what I should have had. They were not outsize, but I ended up getting really tired of them, and gladly had them removed last month after they ruptured. I would recommend getting the reduction if you really want it. I don't think the recovery would be that bad, based on my recent experience (and I'm an old woman).
I had it done for pain management reasons. Recovery wasn't as bad as the previous pain, fyi!
If I can ever get a year without an orthopedic surgery (after decades of psoriatic arthritis), then maybe I'll look into it.
Also want to tell you to choose your surgeon carefully - one with a lot of specific experience, and who will give you want you want.
And can give top-notch reviews from satisfied patients
thanks - I'm picky about all of my doctors. That pays off in the long run!
Good luck! I wish you the best.
I totally agree!!
Apparently bigger is better, and biggest is always best: lips, boobs, yachts, bank accounts . . . Remember those famous words to live by, "Be Best"
Bezos is not the "Biggest" giver to charities only on spending for himself!
His former wife has a big heart and shares her wealth! Kudos to her!!
They think it makes them look "pretty." But that's what booze is for.
OK. Story time. I dressed up for the Halloween concert. Bought a 38 D bra at Ross, went to a friend who sewed and got some professional stuffing, put on a tight bright pink top, borrowed a blond wig from another friend, and went to work. Yes, work. Someone who had known me for 20 years didn't recognize me in the parking lot. The men had one of two reactions: either blushed when they talked to me, or kept glancing at my "boobs" and then down as if saying, "I'm not looking. Nope. Not looking."
When I got home I noticed that some stuffing was peeking out of my top. My conclusion: It doesn't matter how you get the big boobs. So why not use removable, comfy soft stuffing? It's all a big, fluffy act anyway.
Yep, I've experienced men talking to my boobs -- Hey! My eyes are up here, buster!
I wonder if subliminally, it makes the lips look like female sex organs? I am amazed at how ugly this makes her.
Yes, apparently so. Further enhanced with lipstick. Think of a female primate in estrus. (This comment brought to you courtesy of my long-ago degree in anthropology.)
Like The Joker!
With all that money, you'd think she would have access to a better plastic surgeon and dermatologist ....?
Can she whistle?
Stop, stop. My sides ache. Though it’s so much fun to focus on the lighter side of the craziness that passes for reality these days.
--but, oh boy, can she blow!
Oh you naughty boy!
No And can probably only eats puréed food through a straw. I’m guessing BJs are out of the question.
I doubt that. I’m sure Jeff B is liking them…after all, the big extravaganza in Venice...
It scares me to look at her 😳. It's like Bezos ordered a plastic Barbie doll from Amazon.
She looks like Laura Loomer niw.
Not a compliment, btw.
If only just the lips!!
Next boob fad: neon light exhibit on the shelf above the nipples.
Does that giant diamond cross above her fake boobs make anyone else stomach sick?
If you had to submit to being kissed by Bezos, you'd also probably be grateful that your lips were numb and paralyzed like a rubbermouth perch.
Her facial expression didn't change but inexplicably, her breasts deflated.
Most likely purchased on Amazon Basics!
Refundable?
Yes, but subject to the China Tarriffs. Available in XXXL only.
The Amazon Basics airbags failed to deploy, Elizabeth.
Ha - Elizabeth Greenlee!
I bet it's in the pre-nup that the marriage is annulled if that happens.
Yes! In a terse press release announcing the cancellation of the wedding, Jeff Bezos said, "It's a pity I didn't meet the bimbo in time to warn her away from those cheap implants."
And resulted in critical injuries to six photographers.
Thank you! After hearing the past hour news reports on SCOTUS decisions I needed it.
I want to be informed, but considering each of these decisions is horrifying. Plus-I just read that Gym Jordan sent a letter to Harvard requesting tons of paperwork because the R's think Harvard is COLLUDING with other Ivies to jack up tuition. The government and the values it is based on are under threat, not for an ultimate good, but for destruction only. They won't be happy until our schools, hospitals and governmental local offices no longer exist. Widespread firings and diminished benefits have become expected. Not the indicators of a healthy, growing, educated, forward-thinking country, but one sliding to obscurity.
Is this a repeat when GYM claimed NYC had a very high crime rate with no facts, it turned out one of the major Ohio cities was much higher! GYM became very quiet after that inaccurate claim on his part.
He fools folks in Ohio, but not the rest of us with his ignorance.
Sliding into something even worse than what we (the CIA) did to the emerging South American democracies. This is Karma, folks.
Every breaking alert from NYT brings more bad news.
Every time I know there are SCOTUS decisions coming, I feel like I'm bracing for impact. And the impact always comes!
I get knots in my stomach
--if not boiling anger!
It ruins June, every year.
Boy howdy, me too!!!
It’s getting so crazy out here, Andy, I think you have become a serious newscaster.
Or at least a truthful one.
Thanks for a smile that is a miracle for me after reading SCOTUS decisions. Can’t WAIT to see if you can extract ANY humor out of those. But I have faith in you!
The current composition of SCOTUS totally validates TBR readers' voting for Mitch McConnell as America's Top Traitor. (Not a joke, just true.)
I didn’t vote for McConnell just to stick it to Miller — but you are absolutely right. This is ALL on him for stealing our nominees. (Then there’s John Roberts who totally disgusts me but that’s for another day…)
If we survive this administration Roberts will go down in history as the worst Chief Justice EVER.
Even if we don’t survive.
But then, who would know?…...
Whatever country takes us over. Could be Canada. 🇨🇦
Been calling Itch a traitor he refused to hold the impeachment hearings before Biden came to office. Oh yeah, and when he refused to hold the Garland hearings when Obama nominated him way back in February, 2016 "because it's an election year" (which might have prevented him from becoming our ineffectual AG who let the fish get away), and then had ACB confirmed a week before the election. A truly corrupt, despicable human being.
“Human Being” is a stretch.
Good point.
Yes, he makes me wish I believed in the existence of Hell. Because he would certainly be burning there after he croaks.
Mitch They'll-Get-Over-It McConnell keeps validating his Top Traitor status.
You don’t need to look, but in some recent photos it looks like his face is melting. Dorian Grey?
probably more like a series of mini strokes
But WHAT a "smile"... Oh, you mean YOUR smile, not Lauren's!
Andy, I don’t think her breasts changed their expression either.
Wedging the diamond studded cross between the fake boobs enhances her trashiness.
--as if her trashiness could ever be even further enhanced.
I thought that was either Karoline Leave-it or BonDEI!
I agree -
Omg, out of a string of incredibly clever replies, this one might just win the BorowitzNet today!
He’s lucky the tent wasn’t stolen by the delivery driver, and that he didn’t have to deal with endless emails telling him to return it for credit. Ditto for the plastic bride.
Or by someone shooting down the delivery drone.
The last line is priceless! Thanks for the laugh of the day!
That last sentence, Andy! We here in Italy (and elsewhere, I’m sure) are reveling in this “disastrous” event. We’re also relieved to know that if one of the many private water taxis they’ve commandeered sinks, and she’s in it, those bulbous knockers will surely keep her afloat. And it will give her new husband something to cling to.
Wonderful image, Patti!
Thank you, MLK. Maybe we Borowitzers can picnic on them.
--as if he doesn't grasp, grab, and cling onto them already!
John, each comment of yours is better than the last. An amazing thread! And much-needed.
Your last sentence is priceless!!!
In the pre-nup Bezos insisted that his bride must ALWAYS display her cleavage in public. Being the brilliant woman that she is, she has readily complied.
I agree
What if a bird built a nest on her boobs? I’m thinking that the environmentalists would demand she allow it….bad for Jeff….
A stork?
Hilarious!
Once again Andy, you put smiles on our faces. We have always loved your writings but we need you now more than ever💙☮️💙
Could this PLEASE be true?!?!? Ppplllleeeaaaassseeeee?!?!?
Each of Sanchez's ever prominent assets looks scarily like Jeff's head.
--and each has more compassion.....